I CHOOSE

2012-02-14T04:19:00.000-08:00

HAPPY VALENTINE"S DAY!

FPU - ROUND 2

2012-02-13T01:26:00.000-08:00

Well, remember when I told you "we" were supposed to sit down and do a quickie budget. Uhm....hmmm.....that didn't happen.
"We" meant "me" and "we" meant "he" would look over it 5 minutes before we walked out the door. Got be honest, I was a little miffed. A little frustrated.
Then we went to the second class and Ramsey took away my steam.
If you have taken FPU, then you will know exactly what I mean when I say I am a money nerd and HH is a money free spirit. For the rest of you, it means I want a detailed budget made up. One that we took an entire weekend to come up with. During that weekend, I would also like for us to develop a detailed college plan for the MCs, a 5 year plan for updating our house and property, and a 10 year plan explaining where we expect to be in the next decade. All the while, talking about how we feel about these plans and how they correlate to our Christian world view.
For HH, it means I've got 17 minutes to talk to him about the budget. After that-well, I might as well be spittin' in the wind.
Over dramatization - perhaps.(Not the 17 minutes though - that is even in the book.)
But true.
The second class definitely swung things in HH "favor". It let him off the "hook" for the weekend budget retreat I had planned. It didn't exempt him from financial responsibility, but it did help me see my way is not his way.
It also put the free spirits on the spot, in that during the 17 minute meeting, they are not allowed to say "whatever you want to do is fine by me."
Heard that before? Perhaps you are the free spirit and have said it?
DRIVES....US......NERDS........C......R......A......Z......Y!
Like up the wall crazy.
Nope, he has got to change 2 things on the budget as submitted.
And I have to shut up and let him.
See that ...."let him"....seems us nerds are a bit of control freeks as well. Pretty sure that opens up a whole 'nother can of worms.
I have to say that Ramsey hit the nail on the head with his explanations of the dynamics between married couples. I found myself nodding my head and looking at HH, and then I found myself thinking "oh that is totally me" and avoiding HH's gaze as he nodded his head and looked at me.
This week we also talked about the kids. About "commissions" and chores. How we can and should compensate them for specific jobs they are assigned, but not for every thing they do. Some where we have to find the balance between teaching them the value of a dollar, working for that very dollar and the fact that some things you do because you are a part of this family. I made up some "commissions" charts for them Saturday. HH looked over them in his free spirited ways and agreed. We have discussed them and explained them to the MCs. I'll let you know after this week how it has gone.
I have to say again, this stuff isn't rocket science. It is good old common sense. Wisdom that somehow escaped us in the pursuit of life.
Some of you have this down pat.
Great!
Please don't roll your eyes at us and say well duh.
We do that enough ourselves.
Be our cheerleader!
For those of you walking where we are and have been- we will be yours!
We don't have to serve two masters.
We are not meant to.
With Jesus Christ, we can break those chains of slavery to the small master and be free to worship and serve God and Christ.
We can.
We just need to choose to take the first step.
It is time to choose.

F...P...U

2012-02-03T15:50:00.000-08:00

Well, HH and I have sucked it up and signed on for Financial Peace University. We have put on our big girl and big boy draw'rs and got down to business.
Translation...we have been to one class.
We, like most other couples, are money personality opposites. HH is a spender. I am a saver. Well, that might not be a fair assessment since I have a difficult time saving a brownie 'til tomorrow, but when it comes to money I am more saver-ish.
After the first class, I wish I had been a lot more saver-ish. How one class can make you feel like such an idiot in one moment and give you hope in the next is beyond me. Youth is so wasted on the young. I told HH after the meeting that the MCs were taking this class when they turned 18, if not sooner.
Our first assignment is in progress. Notice I am blogging about this on Friday because one of our assignments is to sit down and do a quickie budget this weekend. I am afraid if I wait until Sunday night to share, well, it might not be so pretty.
The first meeting was a mixture of feelings.
Mad at myself for not being smarter.
Relieved I can stop being foolish.
Fearful of the steps laid out before us.
Excited to be going down that path.
Aware that the short term work will most likely be difficult and uphill.
Hopeful, knowing the end result is so worth it.
So, we start walking.
I am sure we will grow weary some days.
I am confident other days we will celebrate victories, small as they are.
The goal is not to get rich quick.
The goal is to serve the One Master well. To be a good steward of His provision. Be able to bless others in need. Be able to provide for the boys and the generations to come.

Lucky for you, you get to come along.

For the good, the bad and the ugly.

And you will love us through it, right?

Right?

You will choose to:)

MY DIRT

2012-01-31T04:02:00.000-08:00

One of our commissions before we left the SSMTC in Houston weekend before last....has it been that long....oh mercy......was to get a sample of dirt and bring it home with us. It symbolized the ground we were taking back from the enemy, ground he had stolen from us or we had simply let go. Sister and I chose a spot near the parking garage and scooped up our dirt. It was good, wet dirt, saturated from the sprinklers, much like our spirits had been saturated with the word of God that weekend.

My dirt sat by my computer for about a week. When I moved it to another location, I heard it rattling around in my cup. It was dry, and I knew how it felt.

It had only been a week.

How could it have been dry?

Now although I teach science, contrary to what my kiddos would tell you, it is not rocket science.

It was dry because it had not been watered.

Not even a drizzle.

It sat on my desk, out of the elements, and had simply dried out.

The moisture from Houston gone.

I didn't add any to it.

It wasn't exposed to anything that would let it get water.

Nope, just plain ol'dried out dirt.

Aren't we so much the same?

We can sit under the greatest teaching, hear the best sermon from our pastor, or straight up get a word from God in our own study time, and our spirits are saturated with Christ.

We are on fire and WE ARE GOING TO MAKE SOME CHANGES!

Then a day goes by, and we didn't get back in the Word.

Then another day goes by and we didn't have time to stop and pray.

Pretty soon it has been a week and we feel dry.

We feel like we are starting to crumble.

We just sort of rattle around in our "boxes".

Unlike my dirt, dear friends, we have choice.

We don't have to be "placed" under the water of God's word;we can go there ourselves.

We can let the presence and the power of Christ saturate our lives, soaking deep into our hearts and minds.

Making us into something able to be molded and not just crumbly.

From Sunday to Sunday, most of us in this country have the opportunity to open up our Bibles and read.

We have the opportunity to sit before the feet of Christ and hear what He has to say.

We have the opportunity.

We also have the choice.

You and I have a choice.

Today, let us choose Jesus.

Posted by the chic who needed to hear this probably more than anyone else:)

MY SSMTC RECAP

2012-01-25T21:30:00.000-08:00

I feel it is required.

I feel obligated.

But it is difficult to put into words.

How do you explain to your husband how meeting with 1200+ other women you only know from this side of the screen is incredibly emotional?

How do you express to someone why you are moved to tears when you worship with ladies you have never ever met in your entire life?

Ladies you only recognize because of their little picture thingy?

How can I tell you how awestruck sister and I were at the hand of God on our very interactions with these women?

How can I convey the great emotion I felt leaving the "sisters" Saturday after lunch, when we had just met them Friday night?

How 1200+ women sit with Bibles open, laughing and crying at the same time, hungry for a word from not only their teacher but their God?

It is so hard to explain how 1200+ women, with a few men thrown in for good measure (and good worship!), can sit and listen to the same teaching and each feel as if the lesson was designed just for them by the Lord God Almighty.

Why would ladies travel from Hawaii and the UK for approximately six and a half hours of fellowship?

How do you explain all that?

This is how....

Jesus Christ.

Easiest recap of SSMT,

Jesus Christ showed up.

Enough said.

OVER ON DELIBERATELY DELIVERED...

2012-01-24T04:17:00.000-08:00

FALTERING

WHAT ARE WE TO DO WITH TEBOW...

2012-01-05T17:13:00.001-08:00

I finally got to watch the Year of the Quarterback special about Tim Tebow. I just loved how his mom and brother still call him Timmy.
Like most of you, I have been following the Tebow lovers and haters in the press. In doing so I have formed some opinions.
I do that.... have opinions.
Ask anyone who knows me, they will tell you.
If they don't, let me know and I'll tell you why I think that was.

Here they are in no particular order:

1. As Christians and fellow believers in Christ, we need to pray for him and his family. For protection. For wisdom. For discernment. For strength. For favor. For quiet times. For godly friends. For godly counsel.

2. As Christians, we need to make sure we don't put him on a pedestal he can't stand on. Which would be ANY pedestal. He is a human, flesh and blood, just like you and I. And I never have much luck standing on pedestals. Don't know anyone who has. We always seem to fall.

3. As Christians, we should be encouraged by Tebow's very public stance, which seems to be backed up by his private time with teammates. We should absolutely applaud his faith. I should let the MCs see a man living out his faith in a very public forum and remind them he has a private relationship with Christ that makes it possible.

4. Then, as Christians, we should be challenged in our very own walk. We should be asking ourselves if we are having that kind of impact where we are placed. Are we speaking Christ Jesus regardless? Are we proclaiming our faith when things look bad to the outside world as well as when they seem good? Are we living out our faith publicly and privately? Is Christ the most important relationship in our lives?

5.We need to hear what Tebow is saying and take him at his word. Jesus Christ is it. Christ is the end all of all. Jesus is what matters. Jesus is the only One who deserves and can handle the pedestal.

Well, there ya go.
My Tebow Top 5.
In all seriousness, let us cover our brother in prayer.
Let's cover his parents in prayer as they guide their son through this season of his life.
Let's make sure we are guarding the glory of the Lord (totally stole that from Beth Moore and the Passion session I saw today) and not putting it on anyone else.
We can choose to.

ONE CLICK AWAY...

2012-01-03T15:09:00.001-08:00

One of my goals was to write more on here.

But last night my heart was moved to write over here.

Let this be the year Lord, let this be the year!

SWAPPING OUT THE Ps

2012-01-01T21:00:00.000-08:00

Have you made any New Year's resolutions Chuck?

Peppermint Patty

Yes. You know how I always dread the whole year?

Well, this time I am only going to dread one day at a time.

Charlie Brown

Ever felt that way?
And it was an improvement?
I have to say this made me smile when I heard it during Happy New Year, Charlie Brown. Not because I thought it was funny or cute, but because I knew exactly what he meant.

Last week I took a break from the dark abyss known as social media, which for me means Facebook, in hopes of refocusing myself and my life BEFORE the new year started. As so many of us do, I thought about things I wanted to be more resolved about in 2012.
Weight. Money. Exercise. Bible study. Relationships. Balancing work and home.
I went through the usual list.
And I found myself discouraged before I even started. I found myself foreseeing when and how and why I would fail. Which made me not even want to start because if I couldn't do it perfect I didn't see any point in trying.
Perfection.
In Works.
It gets me often.
While playing out all the scenarios in my head over the last week, I did have a moment of revelation when I saw what I was doing to myself. How I was setting myself up for failure. Not just because I was striving for perfection but because I thought I could even attain it on my own.
I asked the Lord then to help me let go of the need for perfection in my works. That I would be able to fall on the grace I struggle so to accept when I get tripped up. That my only area of striving would be in knowing Him more and fulfilling His will for my life.
For that to happen, especially the first part, I am going to have to take it one day at a time.
One choice at a time.
One success and one stumble at a time.
My perfection is going to need to be replaced with patience.
Patience with myself.
Patience with the plan God has laid out for this year and the years to come.
I am going to have to heed the words found in the book of James and,
"let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing." (James 1:4).

So, on this first day of 2012, I have already stumbled. Perfection in the flesh has already escaped me these 24 hours.
But patience is proving a little more resolved.
And today....that's all I need it to be.

THE FINAL STRETCH...

2011-12-31T07:17:00.000-08:00

The last two weeks have felt a wee bit like a triathlon. The week before Christmas found the MCs and I shopping like mad people during the day and staying up way too late at night. HH spent the week hunting. MC 1 would have gone, but he just got an expander put on his top teeth and didn't feel dad was up to the challenge of cranking it every day for a week. The boys were real troopers Thursday. We shopped until about 8:00pm when MC 1 told me he felt weird. One look in his eyes and I knew what it was....shopping fatigue. He was weak with hunger, and much like his little brother, his boots were no longer made for walking. MC 2 gave out about an hour before. So after a quick refuel at Chick-Fil-A we hit the last stop on our list- Wal-Mart. Honestly, the mall freaked me out more. At least in Wal- mart I know where I am. Maybe a million people with me, but I know where I am. The mall....oh well...that was too much.
To their credit, the MCs were up and ready to go again Friday. MC 1 loves to shop. I blame his aunts and grandmother spending his formative years taking him to Dallas. I had hopes Friday would be much calmer compared to Thursday, but then we went to Academy. Along with everyone else who lives in a 60 mile radius of our town. My word! We were doing good until we had to move to another part of the store. And that is where we lost him. M...C...2.
No clue where he was, no clue where he thought we were headed. I had MC 1 go left and I went right and we did not find him. I conceded loss and walked up to the manager and said I am sorry but my son has walked away from me only to have MC 2 walk right up to me carrying Aggie golf club covers. You mamas know....relief and anger all at the same time.
The weekend was spent with family, lots of gifts, too much food, and many memories. Rarely am I ever able to surprise HH with his gift. This year - I did! He was shocked and pleased all at the same time and that made me very happy.
This week has been a recovery from last and preparation for next. House cleaned, laundry done, MCs room culled of clothes and toys.
So we prepare today to run this final stretch of 2011 watching the Aggies play (oh please play) and more family time.
Have a great and safe New Year's Eve and I'll see you in 2012!

ALL THAT BLAH BLAH BLAH....

2011-12-19T05:33:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, after church, we were talking with the MCs about what they did in kids church and got their version of the nativity story. We talked about angels and shepherds and the MC 1 ventured in to Joseph's part of the story.

(All though not verbatim, because,well people, that was yesterday, it is a pretty close summary and the key points remain the same).

And the she told Joseph and he got mad at her because he thought....(pause)....well he thought...(pause).....because he thought she was blah blah and all that other stuff.

Yep - exactly how it reads in Matthew.

HEART PROMPTS

2011-12-12T19:47:00.000-08:00

A Martha Heart

A CHRISTMAS ROMANTIC

2011-12-08T16:50:00.000-08:00

I love Christmas lights. I don't know if I always have, but I remember as a teenager being enthralled with the beauty of our Christmas tree. I would sit in the dark room, alone, with nothing but the tree lights on and love every minute of it. It was peaceful to me. At A&M, the city of College Station would decorate its park and I would always try to convince a friend to go with me. I love driving around and looking at lights as well. It is a passion I have passed on the MC 2. He LOVES Christmas lights. He loves spotting them. He loves describing them as we drive by. He uses words like beautiful and bright and Santa Land.

One word I often think of when I look at lights is romance.

Romance?

Yep, you read it right. I think Christmas lights are romantic. It is odd I am sure. It is not like I ever had a romantic moment one under the magic of some Christmas lights. Granted, HH, did confirm our engagement at Christmas of 1997, but I don't really count chunking a stuffed animal with a ring attached at me and saying here you go terribly romantic, even if it was Winnie the Pooh.

But it never fails, every Christmas my heart swoons with romance at the sight of Christmas lights.

Lights....Bing Crosby....Nat King Cole....fireplace roaring.... I would be one big old Hallmark movie in the making.

Thinking about it tonight, I think maybe "romantic" isn't such an odd choice after all. I mean the story of Christmas itself is full of what I call romance. A girl willing to stand firm on her faith in God, regardless of the cost. A man willing to stand firm on his convictions, his faith in God, and right beside the woman he loves, or at least likes a little if he was willing to marry her. A couple setting off together, with no one to count on but themselves and God, not knowing where they are headed or what lies before them, but confident they can face whatever comes together and in the strength the Lord provides.

However, those are not the greatest examples of romance in the story. A Prince, willing to humble Himself to a pauper, out of love for His Father and His people. A Father, who saw His people's demise coming, saw their weaknesses being preyed upon by His enemy, knowing they could do nothing to save themselves, willing sent His Son on a mission that would end in His suffering and death.

All out of love.

What is more romantic than that?

What is greater love than that?

So maybe when my heart swoons at Christmas lights, perhaps it is only responding to the reality of what Christmas is.

The greatest act of love mankind has ever known.

The ultimate sacrifice made for each and every one of us.

In all our frailty.

In all our sin.

In our mess ups.

In our prideful flare ups.

Love.

Constant Love.

Abiding Love.

Secure love.

Wooing us to a better life.

Drawing us to a destiny that will stand the test of all time.

Now that's romance......

A DAY WITH STREPTOCOCCUS

2011-12-06T15:46:00.000-08:00

MC 2 and I spent the day together, thanks to his diagnosis of strep throat. We cleaned house, we did laundry, we totally got our Christmas on listening to Toby Mac's new Christmas CD. MC 2 desired to hear it so badly he braved to cold to get it out of the truck. I would have said my truck but my truck is dead so it is a loaner per the in-laws. So is the one HH is driving because his truck went belly up this weekend as well. Like it got the stomach virus and strep throat all at the same time.
We are waiting on getting a tree until school is out. Honestly, I could wait until Christmas Eve, when they all go one sale and you can get a glorious tree for SUPER CHEAP! I am afraid HH won't be able to hold out though. He may just show up with a tree one of these days. I do have 2 presents wrapped which is huge for me because I am a fan of Christmas Eve shopping. I plan on taking the MCs this year to buy for our immediately family, but they will go one separate days because that was a fiasco LAST YEAR!
Tomorrow it is back to the grindstone. I am sure the darlings missed me....yeah... I am sure they did.
Have a great Wednesday!

IT HAD ITS MOMENTS

2011-12-04T17:40:00.000-08:00

The weekend was jam packed from the start. At least that is how it was planned. Friday was to be our only night home. The MCs and HH went fishing while I cleaned a little bit of house and made up some good ole chicken fried steak. Saturday was our last rodeo. I had a picture, but my new iPhone, which it seems can track my every move and keystroke, can't seem to email me my own photos. The boys did really well and walked out with a halter, spur straps, and the all important belt buckle. We dashed home, took naps, and HH and I got gussied up to see David Crowder in his last Texas performance. We dropped the MCs off with the MIL, and headed to dinner and the concert. The ill fated concert that was not meant to be for three songs into it we had to leave. MC 1 decided to throw up EVERYTHING he had eaten all day. We ran by the dollar store to pick up supplies, worked through HH's reality check that the term "dollar" store does not necessarily mean A dollar, and managed to get out unscathed when he said he could get Lysol cheaper at Wally World. I attribute our safe exit to my charming rapport with the cashier and the fact that he didn't see the dirty look she gave him. Recalling a comment from Big Mama's blog, I gave MC 1 Coca-Cola, the trademarked stuff, to see if it would help. Seems it did and he slept the night away. MC 2, however, got up twice to tell me his throat hurt. Why he couldn't tell HH, who was right next to him in bed, I don't know, but it would appear these things only a mama can hear. Sunday found us at home, recovering, and watching it rain.
The countdown is on for the end of school. Plans are being made for teacher gifts, holiday shopping and traditions to keep up. Hope you guys have a great week!

Isaiah 9:2 (NKJV)

"The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; Those who dwelt in the land of the shadow of death, upon them a light has shined."

A BLACK FRIDAY INDEED

2011-11-28T02:10:00.000-08:00

it was for many an Ag. Honestly, I usually do not get emotionally involved in A&M's football games, but I felt myself wanting to cry after this one. I mean like even days later. It was the pinnacle of heartache.

The obligatory Thanksgiving recap - here we go.

First,the week went nothing like I had planned. I think I stayed home exactly ZERO days. I spent the first part of the week purchasing turkeys for HH so he could smoke them.

I never understand why he has me buy pre-made marinades and such. He always makes up his own. The man is not a recipe follower. AT ALL. Which, at times, can drive his rule follower of a wife crazy. A free spirit in the kitchen.

Thursday was spent doing what most of you did - eating, watching football, eating some more. The MCs and I were going to take in a movie, but we took in a nap instead.

Friday, we ventured to the movie theater and stayed away from stores as much as possible.

Saturday we made an impromptu trip to Bass Pro, because it is the Christmas season and I am all about free ornaments made out of those fishing bobber things and a FREE picture with Santa. However, it seems everyone else in the area was all about a FREE picture with Santa as well, and while I am a fan of FREE, I value my time. Standing in line for an hour plus was more than I was willing to pay. But we will be back Santa, don't you worry, 'cause I am getting me my FREE picture. It is worth all the other money someone finds to spend in the store while we wait. Sunday, the MCs and I headed to church while HH worked. After lunch we went jeans shopping for MC 2 at Target. A complete bust in the jean department, but a total score for Charlie Brown and Rudolph Christmas propaganda. I am sucker for it every year.

I just realized I left out that we started decorating for Christmas on Saturday as well. We watched Christmas movies, had hot chocolate, and completely abandoned my plans for simplicity and all natural decorations. There are lights around our door, across our mantle, and at one point in time, completely strung across my living room and wrapped around HH's recliner.

I am a hold out for not decorating until after Thanksgiving, so to be up and going this soon is huge.

Then the Sunday night reality check came in when I realized I had not done a single thing for work like I had planned. Nor had I made the MCs do any school work as I had planned. I hadn't froze any leftovers like I meant to. I did not have my kitchen table cleared off like I wanted to. Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

So this morning, I got up at what I thought was 4:30am, only to discover it was 3:30am (I have got to set those clocks on the phone back!), and instead of doing anything about all that I didn't do, I am here talking to you. By now it is 4:30, which makes it much too late to go back to bed and think I will get up in time to get everyone ready and out the door.

So....

Up and at 'em.

Yep....here I go.

Getting the day started.

No burning daylight for me............

Okay, I really am going now.

Have a wonderful Monday!

BEAT THE....

2011-11-24T07:19:00.000-08:00

you know....

outta t.u.

WHOOP!

TALKING TURKEY....

2011-11-23T04:17:00.001-08:00

Cooking tips?

Nah.

I am going to talk about these turkeys.

See this?

This is not what they are doing this morning,

Or have been doing all week.

And when they do, it is not even in their own bed.

Monday we went "shopping".

MC 1 declared it the best day ever.

As much as I would like to think it was spending the day together he enjoyed so much, I am pretty sure his grand sentiments had much more to do with him getting a jacket he has wanted for what seems like all his life. A jacket he has slept in for the last two nights and worn for the last two days.

MC 2 got some cop cars that I have yet to see him play with.

And this turkey....

discovered the joy of smoking his own turkeys last year and is in full turkey smoking mode again this year.
Which means I am in full turkey smoking mode.
It also means some of us will be up all night tonight because we like nothing better than waiting until the last minute.
The pressure....we live for the pressure.

So as I scavenge the store for the last of the fresh birds, I hope your preparations are going great. I hope you get to spend Thanksgiving with the turkeys you love and cherish. I hope your faraway turkeys come home to roost for a few days.
Do turkeys roost?
I think they do.
I think I heard that in a hunting show one time.
Probably Waddell...yep, I bet it was him.

I pray, for me as much as you, that we remember in all our doings, to be thankful for the very ones we are doing for.
Above all, thankful to Christ Jesus, the One who did all for us.

I SEE A PATTERN HERE....

2011-11-21T06:01:00.001-08:00

At first I thought it was an accident,

because these things get loose and fall off....

then I found these and I think it was no accident.

THE THURSDAY BEFORE THE THURSDAY...

2011-11-17T01:10:00.000-08:00

is where we are. So far this week has been full of epic fails, medical drama, and MCs with insomnia which means a mama with insomnia.
For my part, I contributed to the epic fail. Actually, I pretty much owned it. I did own it. Right in front of MC 1. Stumbled right over a big stone in my way called MY FLESH, completely blew it, and then had to spend the next two days explaining how being a Christian does not mean you always get it right. That even Christians sometimes choose to do what they know is wrong because they are just ticked off. About how when that happens, no matter the scale of fail (hehe), your faith in Christ Jesus and the forgiveness only He and God can provide is what allows you to be picked and set to walking again, and the next time, I can choose a different response.
Yep....good times.
The medical drama...HH owns that one. Praising the Lord he is fine, but Tuesday found him not so sure. Probably would not have been so bad if I had not left my cell phone on my room, while my physics kids and I raced balloon powered rocket cars, but I did. Needless to say when I finally got the note that said husband called, on his way to the ER, and actually called him back, HH was a little miffed at me. FYI - we avoided the ER and visited our local doctor and all is well.
And now I found myself up at 3:21 because I forgot to wash jeans last night and we are desperate for clean clothes. MC 2 has been in our room since about 2, a repeat of last night. MC 1 just got up, wanted to play his DSI and is angrily falling back asleep on the couch.
And I just realized I need to look over a couple of tests for the little darlings at school, so I reckon it is a good thing I am up on this Thursday before the Thursday.....
I hope you have a great one!

I CAN...IT'S NOT...

2011-11-12T06:31:00.000-08:00

Mrs. Beverly has been our neighbor for several years. Other than the occasional I have your mail or I am coming to pull weeds off the fence, we really did not have much interaction. I was working, and after her mom was put in an assisted living residence, Mrs. Beverly was just our reclusive neighbor.

The first year I stayed home, we visited more often across the fence, but we still did not spend a great deal of time together. This past year was a different story. It started because she had car troubles and needed to get into town about once every two weeks. I had the time so when she asked, I obliged. When her car broke down a few times, she called me to come get her. We talked about God and church. We talked about raising boys and trying to do the best you can. We talked praying for and loving them when they don't. She told me of her loves past, and her desire for companionship now.

And because she couldn't sleep and listened to late night talk radio, we talked global warming, earthquakes, and terrorists attacks.

One Sunday about a month and a half ago, Mrs. Beverly called me after I got home from church and told me she needed to go to the hospital. She was sure she had Lyme disease. When I picked her up, she was crying. Never....N...E...V...E...R... had I seen her show any emotion. I knew this was bad. I took her to our local ER and waited while they cared for her. What they found was even more severe, and Mrs. Beverly was rushed to another hospital that could handle her failing kidneys and sky rocketing blood pressure. They rushed her out so quickly I did not even speak to her.

While in the hospital, it was discovered that she had cancer. Her return home meant she needed dialysis. During the week, a medical van would pick her up, but on the weekends, another neighbor and I would accommodate. The talks on these car rides had different overtones. We talked Jesus. We talked dying. We talked about her fear of dying alone or in pain. We talked how long she thought she would be with us.

The last trip I took with Mrs. Beverly, she told me about the angels she believed she had been seeing. We talked about what she thought Heaven would be like. I asked her is she was ready to go, which she was. I am ever so grateful that the Lord gave me the boldness to ask if she knew Jesus as her Savior, if she had surrendered her life to Him, and ever so happy to hear her say a resounding yes. Then, with tears in both our eyes, I told her we both knew that regardless of how much time she had left, this wasn't the end.

That was the middle of October. Mrs. Beverly passed away the first part of November. Her brothers were here and she was surrounded with friends I believe.

Why tell you all this?

Not because I need you to pat me on the back. I don't. Truth of it, I did not always serve Mrs. Beverly with a joyous heart. There were times I did it because I knew it was the right thing to do. It wasn't always convenient. It wasn't always what I had planned to do for my day. Don't get me wrong, I was always gracious and courteous, but some days it was with a bit of a begrudging attitude. Because some days I saw it as a bother. And who can be bothered?

W...E...........C...A...N........

We can.

You can.

I can.

We can be bothered to stop. Stop and listen. Stop and say hello. Stop and give a hug.

Looking back over the last year, I feel a mixture of shame and gratitude. Shame for how I wasn't as willing as I should have been. Yet, mixed in that is a gratefulness for the times I did have with Mrs. Beverly.

Maybe you feel you can't be bothered. Bothered to write a letter to a relative. Bothered to stop in on a widow, or a single mom, or a married mom, and say hi. Bothered to help someone out if you can. Bothered to share the love of Christ. To be His hands and feet.

Can I say with utmost humility, yes you can?

You and I must.

Why?

Because, as I told Mrs. Beverly, we know this is not the end.

Titus 3

1 Remind them to be subject to rulers and authorities, to obey, to be ready for every good work, 2 to speak evil of no one, to be peaceable, gentle, showing all humility to all men. 3 For we ourselves were also once foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving various lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful and hating one another. 4 But when the kindness and the love of God our Savior toward man appeared, 5 not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit, 6 whom He poured out on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Savior, 7 that having been justified by His grace we should become heirs according to the hope of eternal life.

TRUE TO EACH OTHER AS AGGIES CAN BE

2011-11-04T07:34:00.001-07:00

I am an Aggie.

Unashamedly.

MC 1 : Mom? Do you like the Aggies?

Yes

MC 1: But aren't they kinda bad in the second half?

Yes.

MC 1: Then why do you still like them?

Because that is what loyalty is all about. Good or bad, I still like them. Just like Jesus likes us good or bad and how I like you.

MC 2 (from the back seat) : Yeah! She still likes me when I am bad!

Yes I do and Jesus love us to.

And that is how you use college football to make a theological point.

Every chance we get peeps, every chance we get. Impart the knowledge of Christ to your kids or your neighbors kids or the church kids.

Every Chance WE GET!

WHAT THE CHILDREN OF A DEER HUNTER DO DURING OCTOBER...

2011-10-30T18:27:00.000-07:00

BUT I DON'T AWANA.....

2011-10-18T18:49:00.000-07:00

I have been co-leading a group of 2nd grade boys at AWANA for about 6 weeks now. This is my first year with AWANA and had you asked me during the first two weeks, it would have been my last.

Straight up truth telling time- I had no desire to work with little ones. Zip....none. However, I wanted the MCs to go, and so I figured I would serve my time as well. Well, the craziness that is the first two weeks wore on my attitude, and I apparently wore my attitude on my face. Every single time I walked past someone they would say, "It gets better....it really gets better", and every time I would think, Yes it will, next year when I am not doing this.

Round week three I became aware I needed a Holy Spirit inspired attitude adjustment. In my asking, one of the first things that I was cut to the quick with was this thought-

If you, Rhonda, esteem the Word as highly as you profess. If you, Rhonda, believe in the life changing power, the freedom and healing power scripture provides--- then why in the world would you not be thrilled to death at the chance to help get that Word planted in some little men children, much like your own. If you think enough about it to bring your kids, why do you not esteem it enough to help other kids.

That, my friends, is called a swift kick in the derriere.

Because you know what He was really saying?

Exactly what He said.

Funny thing about God, He doesn't mince words about the Word.

Needless to say, my attitude has been a little better since. Now, Wednesdays are still tough. I am tired. My MCs do their homework at some fast food joint in between school and church. Bath time comes much later than it should. We all drag a little more on Thursdays.

But for me, the investment is worth the payment.

Especially when I think of what I am doing as a form of discipleship. We aren't just listening to verses for points. We are learning how to be respectful listeners during council time. We are learning how to get our praise on during worship. We are learning how to be gracious losers and humble winners during game time. We are learning how to pray for our friends and that no prayer is too small. We are learning that we matter, we are of value, and we are worth the investment.

So no, I didn't want to AWANA.

But now,

I CHOOSE.

GOING FOR MORE THAN JUST MOORE

2011-10-06T16:43:00.000-07:00

My sister and I are going to the SMST next January. I have been keeping up with my verses. I have them written on my official SMST set of spiral note cards. I have posted them on the blog. I have done all I was to do except one thing.....learn my verses.
It has been hard and I have been unmotivated. As I was driving to work the other morning, it struck me what was the deal was....I was literally going to see Beth Moore. I was going to get away, to take a break, and to see Beth Moore.
From what I know of her, I can tell you right now, that if Mrs. Moore read this, she would probably say,
"Sweet thang....please don't come for that. Please stay home if that is what you are coming for."
And she would be right.
It is October now. 10 months in. 10 months I have been focused on seeing the Moore, that I have missed the more God had for me.
The more of Him.
The more of me.
More truth.
More faith.
More freedom.
More victory.
As I looked back over the verses I had chosen, I couldn't help but say to myself,
"Yep, could have used that one here and that one then",for pretty much all of them.
But God is gracious to me. He let me see my folly before the year was gone and my motives had sealed my actions. I have 2 months. Two months of more before the Moore, and I plan on grabbing every single bit of it.
2 months of more God is worth the work.
Worth the fight.
Worth the more that I can give.
So, dear sweet Siesta Mama, should you ever read this, please know that while I no doubt will cry tears when I meet you face to face and ask to hug that sweet neck and take a picture, I am not coming to see you.

I am coming for M...O...R...E...

ANATOMY OF A FALL.....

2011-10-03T18:13:00.000-07:00

We are coming out of the shoot.

We are saddled up and ready to go.

We have our hearts and our heads protected.

We have Daddy holding us so tight we can feel it.

Yep, it's all good.

Little dust....

a few twists...

won't take the smile off our face

because we can feel Daddy holding on tight.

Then we don't feel Daddy so much.

Things start to get a little sideways.

Things begin to come out from under us.

A twist we didn't expect causes us to lose our seat.

And we fall.

And it hurts.

We come up sucking air.

We try desperately to get our next breath,

feeling certain we are dying.

Tears are flowing...

we are gasping thinking we are hurt.

Wondering where Daddy went.

What we don't realize is that we were still protected.

Our hearts and heads still covered.

And Daddy, He is right there the whole time.

Picking us up....

Dusting us off....

Loving us through the fall....

So that He can encourage us to get up and ride again.

* Photos by Kay Owens photography

For the record, MC 2 said he was "done riding the sheeps!"

LACK OF CONFIDENCE....

2011-10-03T17:38:00.000-07:00

Boys, after church we have to go by Lowe's and Wal-Mart.

Why are we going to Lowe's?

I need to get a board for the floor.

Don't we need Audie?

No.

Or Uncle Sean?

No. Mom is quite capable of going to Lowe's and buying a board.

Doubtful eye roll.....

AND THEN CAN I SAY....

2011-09-26T18:40:00.000-07:00

taking a kid with what we lovingly have called "duck lips" all his life to the orthodontist was no field trip either. Someone will be wearing braces for a long time. Someone else thinks that alone may be the reason she went back to work. (Not really, but maybe a little).

Still kicking "destiny" around. The next section is just as convicting.....

She did not consider her destiny;
Therefore her collapse was awesome;
Lamentations 1:9 (NKJV)

First, I don't want to collapse. Second, I most certainly don't want it to be awesome!

Pastor has been very toe stompy as of late. Then he is going to have the nerve to have us read another book by Platt. I am pretty sure my nubbins of toes left from Radical are a bit nervous.

The MCs and HH have been having a Street Fighter tournament the last few nights.
Thrilling.
We are all excitement over here.
Yep.
All excitement.
All the time.
It's how we roll.

FIRST CAN I SAY....

2011-09-26T09:54:00.000-07:00

it is not a fun task taking a child to the dentist who thinks "silver" teeth are AWESOME!

Defeats the purpose.

Second, a musing about destiny on AMH today.

Thirdly, I miss home.

Have a great Monday!

BECAUSE IT'S FRIDAY....

2011-09-22T17:37:00.000-07:00

I thought you would enjoy this.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?

2011-09-18T18:15:00.000-07:00

Last week I gave a major assignment to one of my classes and they bombed it.

B...I...G T...I...M...E.

But I knew they would.

Because I knew they hadn't prepared.

Straw poll after the fact verified this.

What caught me a little off guard was the student who said,

"Since we all did so bad, what are you going to do about it?"

Me?

Nothing.

You knew what the assignment was.

You knew when it was.

You were unprepared.

Consequences are yours.

As I was sitting in church today, reflecting on our study of Psalm 51 over the last two weeks, that conversation played out in my head again. I could not help but think how many times I come to Christ the same way.

I have blown it.

I let food satisfy a void only You can.

I based my confidence in my wallet instead of Your word.

I lost my temper and snapped.

I have made a huge mistake.

I pursued the desires of my flesh for praises of man and not the praises of my King.

I said something I shouldn't have, knowingly.

I cowered away when I should have been bold.

I compromised on what I knew to be true, and then I justified it by comparing myself to others and trying to compensate by being "good".

I have chosen not to prepare.

I knew this week was going to be busy, yet I planned no time for You.

I knew the meeting was necessary, but I tried to cover myself instead of letting You be my covering.

I knew money was going to be tight, but eating out was so much easier.

Yes, I knew I had that commitment, but I was just tired....or I spent that money elsewhere....or whatever.

Now, Lord, what are you going to do about it?

When I was a young Christian, He bailed me out.

As I grew, He started letting the consequences be mine.

Yes, He walks through them with me, He willingly shoulders the load if I let Him, but rest assured I am the public and private face of them.

And I should be.

I have a had a rough couple of weeks internally. Mentally. Spiritually. I have been hit from all directions, and in areas I never even thought were subject to attack. (FYI: all areas are subject to attack).

I have failed, big time, and I have asked many times, "What are You going to about it?"

Take a straw poll of my week(s), and you will find that I, too, have failed to prepare.

My kids will have a chance to redeem themselves later in the grading period.

I will get another chance as well.

Knowing this.....

the decision to prepare....

Well,it is mine.

I Choose.

WITH BIEBER IN THE BACKGROUND....

2011-09-14T01:16:00.000-07:00

MOM!!! Tell MC 2 to stop singing that song.

MC 2 in the background.... Never say never....never say never...never say never....

MC 2 please stop signing that song.

MOM!! He is still singing it!

MC 2 please stop.

M....O....M!!!!! followed by a punch.

MC 1! His disobedience does not necessitate your sin!

................................................

Yep...let that sit on you for a bit.

BITING HIS TONGUE...

2011-09-13T01:00:00.000-07:00

*photos by Kay Owens Photography

AND THIS IS WHY...

2011-09-12T02:34:00.000-07:00

We choose to get up one Saturday a month,
for five months,

some of us at 4 am, and some of us at 5 am,

because it makes these babies happy.

And that makes us happy.
*photos by Kay Owens photography

SELLING SHOES...

2011-09-01T16:52:00.001-07:00

I sat in the meeting and I heard the words,

"You know when you meet someone and they just have leader all over them."

Not talking about me.

Though my flesh so desperately wanted it to be me.

It actually went through my head,

I wonder why that was not said about me.

Then right after that I thought,

what is up with your puffed up head.....get over yourself.

Later that night I was thinking the whole thing over again,

and I am not sure how we got there,

but during my internal discussion, someone interjected with....

What if you are just the shoe salesman?

Now it could have been my flesh, lamenting its lack of pomp and circumstance.

It could have been the enemy trying to discourage me.

Or it could have been the Lord asking,

What if you are just a shoe salesman?

Will that be enough?

What if you going into that classroom everyday is it?

What if you loving those men children of yours,

and the ones that come along that aren't,

so what if that is as big as it gets?

So what?

Shoe salesman....

knelt down before people, serving them.

No pomp.....

No circumstance...

Shodding their feet with the gospel of peace as I go along,

or crushing their toes while I try to get ahead?

I wish I could tell you my flesh just gave in on its desire to be celebrated.

It just surrendered that ground.

It didn't.

It won't.

But it doesn't choose.

I DO.

YOU DO.

Jeremiah 45:5

"And do you seek great things for yourself?

Do not seek them;

for behold,

I will bring adversity on all flesh,"

says the Lord.

" But I will give your life to you as a prize in all places,

wherever you go."

Shodding with peace?

Crushing with pride?

Which shoes are we selling?

We would be wise to take note,

for someday we may have to walk in them.

HELLO WORLD.....

2011-08-30T03:39:00.000-07:00

I am going to blame my lack of blogging on my Internet deciding it need some rest this past week. Seems it is scared of lightening and decided to duck and cover after a storm last week. MC 2 asked me last Monday where I had been all day. I have been asking myself that for the last two weeks. I just finished a power point for physics and need to get everyone up and going, so here is a statement. ( I was going to say a list, but I am pretty sure a single bullet point does not constitute a list).

School is going great for all of us.

Hope your weeks have been good to you as well.
See you...well, someday!

IT WENT MUCH BETTER THIS TIME AROUND...

2011-08-19T04:39:00.000-07:00

Meet the Teacher that is. Of course, it usually does when everyone is there. Last night HH got a video message from my mom showing MC 1 bungee bouncing on something. Don't think that sentence doesn't shock me. Mom sent a video message...I am impressed. We will see the boys tomorrow. Me thinks they have not missed us too much. MC 2 told mom, " We wuv it here!". Getting them home may be a chore. But higher education beckons on Monday, so they have no choice. Besides...they belong to us and have to do what we say:)
Did I tell you about the discussion the boys and I had about HH being the head of the household, aka the boss. You know, trying to instill some biblical authority thinking in them. Yep....except now they use it against me anytime they don't want to do something.
You said dad's the boss and he didn't tell us to do that.......
I am thinking we will be needing to go back and do a little reteaching there.
I hope you guys have a great weekend!

GETTING MY DATES RIGHT...

2011-08-18T03:28:00.000-07:00

It feels like it has been forever since I last posted something. Yet it has only been a couple of days. Of course, you are reading the ramblings of a woman who thought yesterday was the 18th (ALL DAY LONG). A woman who had her HH rush home so we could go to Open House for the MCs, loaded up the haul of school supplies, only to finally realize, when there was not a single soul at the school, that yesterday WAS NOT IN FACT the 18th- which is when Open House will actually be.
A thin thread gals, hanging on by a very thin thread.
The week has been good in all truthfulness. The MCs have been at their grandparents house since Sunday. HH and I go our separate ways to work each day and then come home and crash. The school I am in is brand new, as in still not finished brand new, and is really pretty. Which kind of balances out with the way my house looks right now.
So, I am still here.
I finally know what day it is.
That, well, may the best we can hope for.
Not really, 'cause we have Jesus!

Let us hold fast to the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful.
Hebrews 10:23 (NKJV)

"I" HAVE BEEN UP FOR A WHILE...

2011-08-16T03:10:00.000-07:00

And this is the part of starting something new I hate.
The anxiety.
The insecurities.
The being awake at 3:15 am and then 4 and then 4:15.....
The feeling that I want to cry.
That I want to eat everything in sight.
Then cry for doing that.
The desire to run to my tv and get lost in some meaningless show (s) for hours so I don't have to deal with it.
I'll be honest with you. Since I got up at 4:15 I have watched Giuliana and Bill, and am right now hoping Ren and Willard can lift my spirits with some crazy dance moves.
Then beating myself up for not being more productive.
The lecture that I gave myself last night about how MUCH, MUCH more I am going to have to get it all together, be more disciplined because when it all starts up next week, I am hitting the ground running.
New job, new ministry, new relationship, new town....
They all carry their own stuff.
Know what I noticed about my list of troubles?
There is a whole lot of "I" in there.
Even though "I" am the one fleshing these things out,
"I" don't have to do it alone.
The "I" in me can choose to be alone.
To try to do this all in my own power, control and strength.
To worry and fret and agonize what might be or what could happen or not happen.
"I" can choose that.
But the fact that "I" can choose must mean I get to pick between paths.
The "I" path, well, I have done that one.
Too many times and for too long.
Like this morning at 4:15, just for an example.
The other choice....

I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.
Galatians 2:20 (NKJV)

Faith.
In Him.
Better choice.

CHURCH NOTES

2011-08-14T13:22:00.000-07:00

I love being a student.

Assuming I am being educated and not just read to.

I am one of those peeps who takes fast & furious notes during a sermon.

I am also one of those people who hates to study.

Which is why it has only been over the last several months that I have been

deliberately re-studying my sermon notes during my morning devo.

Anyway, I thought it might be fun to show you my "notes".

You should in advance my note journal serves a wide range of purposes.

I'm just tellin' ya up front.

This is my official notes journal right now.

I am pretty sure SS#2 gave it to me.

Please note I am not supporting a store or a brand with these photos.

I am going to make Texas Trash later today.

We work on our numbers.

Sometimes we have to draw.

This is what my "notes" look like.

I try to highlight while I am re-reading.

Note the frustration at the whippersnapper Nanny?

I write myself a key point.

What about you?

Are you a fastidious note taker?

Are you a straight up auditory learner?

Perhaps kinesthetic?

How do you process your sermons each week?

'Cause, ya' know, we're kinda suppossed to.

20 YEARS LATER....

2011-08-10T15:55:00.001-07:00

This past weekend was my 20 year high school reunion.

In case you are worried because I haven't talked about HH's reunion:

1. I am older than him.

2. He was the only one in his graduating class.

So everyday is a reunion for him...

Several weeks ago I was pretty nervous about going.

I did not go to our ten year one for that very reason.

High school was hard for me.

We moved when I was a sophomore from the only friends I had ever known.

Not just to a new school, or even a new town, but a new state.

To say I had a chip on my shoulder would be like saying it's just a little warm in Texas right now.

I was not the nicest person who walked the halls.

I was mouthy.

I was angry.

I was scared out of my head.

20 years later you would think all those feelings would be gone.

For the most part they were.

They were replaced with feelings of guilt and shame for how difficult I had made life.

Over the last few weeks, I have really been praying for the Lord to let me just be me when I went.

Not the angry girl.

Not the mouthy girl, with killer witty sarcasm.

Not the girl who was scared out of her head.

I wanted to walk in there a girl in love with Jesus.

A girl glad to see each and everyone of them.

A girl who had grown into a woman,

and that woman knows exactly who she is in Christ.

I have to say He answered.

It was wonderful to see faces I had not seen for 20 years.

It was good to see faces I saw last month.

I laughed.

I hugged.

I wished for more time.

Some had faced difficulty.

Some were doing exactly what they were meant to do.

I found myself praying for them all the other day.

That God would restore those that had suffered loss.

That He would speak to them.

That He would love on them.

I hope I don't have to wait 20 more years to do that myself.

I tried to steal other pics from that "book place", but this was the only one that let me.

IT'S A RARE SIGHTING...

2011-08-09T02:31:00.000-07:00

As we are walking out the door, going to my 20 year high school reunion...

MC 2: Mom? What is that on your lips?

It's called lipstick son.

I know....sad, so very sad.

FASHION, FREEDOM, AND THE FARM

2011-08-08T01:48:00.000-07:00

NOT SO FUNNY...

2011-08-04T06:00:00.000-07:00

HH was looking at my blog last night, asking me questions, wondering who reads it besides Rebecca, stuff like that. He then said,

It is so long, and it used to be funny. You used to write about funny stuff.

To which I replied:

1. Funny stuff has to happen.

2. Life is not always funny.

It reminded me of a story I heard Beth Moore tell about a conversation with mom. After she started teaching, I believe, her mom commented on how Beth used to be funnier before she was a bible teacher.

The truth of it is that sometimes this life we walk, and this walk with Christ, is hilarious. Maybe because something really funny did happen. Maybe because the irony of what happened forces us to laugh. And on some days, it's funny because the only other choice is to crawl up in the fetal position and cry your eyes out. Laugh or cry, laugh or cry.

Then there are times when it is not. Times of frustration, like when you lay out a large sum of cash to get an automobile repaired, only for it to come back not. Times of disappointment, when you realize things and people weren't what they thought they were, and you realize you aren't either. Times of sadness when we lose something or someone precious to us. Times of confusion when we cannot for the life of us figure out why something happened or what we are supposed to do with it.

All times that have varying degrees.

Yesterday was not a funny day for me. I was mad. About a lot of things. I sat before the Lord in my rocking chair and ran off my list of things I was mad at. I knew my attitude was bad. I read my scriptures for the day and then I walked away from them. About an hour later I came back to my journal and was ready to deal with myself. My readings were over Hezekiah. His sickness. His healing. His lifted heart. I could not help but ask for forgiveness. Forgiveness for lifting my heart to my circumstances. Praying that when these temporary circumstances were over, and they are temporary, I would not forget God who has healed me. I would not be vain enough to show off all my stuff and forget to honor the very Christ who has provided for it.

And I was the better for it.

Nothing changed circumstantially.

My focus had.

We are not promised funny.

We are promised joy.

We are promised peace.

We are promised He is with us.

And it is my choice to remember that.

How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!

How great is the sum of them!

If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;

When I am awake, I am still with You.

Psalm 139:17-18

FOOTSTEPS OF INDEPENDENCE

2011-08-03T08:01:00.000-07:00

As I am getting into the shower...

MC 2: Mom, I can make my own breakfast.

Okay. What are you going to make?

MC 2: A peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I can do it mom, I can do it.

As I am in the shower...

pitterpatterpitterpatter

MC 2: Mom, where is the jelly?

In the fridge.

pitterpatterpitterpatter

MC 2 : Mom, where is the bread?

On the table.

pitterpaterpitterpatter

Those pitterpatters are his steps toward independence.

Soft at first, growing louder each day.

They are hard to hear, but necessary.

Someday I will miss them.

"WEEK"ENDS...

2011-08-02T01:39:00.000-07:00

Some weeks a girl has just got to push through.

Regardless of how she feels.

Regardless of what the scale says.

Regardless of the all the old insecurities that try to raise their evil little heads.

This past weekend I turned 38. Which looks much older than I feel when you actually write the number down. Next weekend, I have my 20 year high school reunion. In between, I have my first day of new teacher orientation where first impressions will be made. Now any one of those could set loose a sundry of doubts, fears and insecurities. But all three in one week? Well...if you are a girl child... you know. What to wear? What will people think? Am I going to do that goofy nervous thing I do? Do I have a clue as to what I am even doing here?

I know many of you face challenges right up this ally every week. Some of you face weightier ones every day. So, as my friend Casey says,

You pray for me and I'll pray for you.

Have a good week!

It will end well!

THE OBLIGATORY BIRTHDAY POST...

2011-08-01T01:33:00.000-07:00

And now I am 38.

HH asked me that morning if I felt old.

He always does because I am officially older than him now.

I really didn't.

What I did was remember where my family was when my mom turned 38.

How, at the time, she had 4 girls ranging from 15 to 6.

How she and my dad packed us up and moved us to another state.

How I could not even fathom having a 15 year old right now.

Or just starting to have kids.

We talked about ideas I had of getting married at 22, kids at 24ish, and how the Lord in His wisdom did not stick to my plans at all.

I guess I left the conversation feeling like I couldn't imagine my life timeline any different. It is good the way it is.

Which is a good feeling to have on your birthday.

WEDNESDAY...

2011-07-27T21:02:00.000-07:00

I keep trying to think of things to say, well, things I can say on here, because there is some stuff... you know.
But what is there to talk about when you have done nothing but stay home.
I could rehash, AGAIN, how much food the seemingly undesirable to anyone ON THE PLANET puppies are eating.
I could tell you how I have forced my kids to read and do math over the summer.
They built forts today....during the 15 minutes please let mommy have some alone time without fighting portion of their day.
I could tell you how physically tired I am. I am not really sure why, except that I have been consistently doing the "e" word (which I dare not say lest I jinx myself) and I am up to 50 minutes a day, and that woman Jillian kicks my tail e.v.e.r.y. single D.A.Y!
Or it might be the fact that for the last three nights, one MC has slept with HH while the other one, and they do switch out, and I have a slumber party on the couch in the living room.
OR it could be the insane house cleaning I have been doing ever since reading Isaiah 32. So you know, my definition of insane is that everything is tidy before I go to bed, INCLUDING my kitchen counter and sinks. Yes, it wears me out.
So, as you can see I don't have much to say.
What do you have?

GETTIN' OUR COWBOY ON...

2011-07-25T14:29:00.000-07:00

THE BISCUIT IS OUT OF THE BAG...

2011-07-22T01:47:00.000-07:00

You guys know how my kids LOVE my mama's breakfasts. Wednesday, when all the kids were here, I made biscuits, sausage and gravy, all mixed together. We call it SOS. You can call it whatever you want. The visiting MC had a few questions....

Aunt Rhonda, why did you make the biscuits so small?

I wanted to get more out of it.

Audie's biscuits aren't this size.

Boy, Audie gets her biscuits out of a bag.

She does?

Yep.

Do they come already cooked for her?

No, she cooks them. But they come from a bag, not from scratch.

Well, I KNOW Grandpa makes the gravy from scratch.

Yes, he does.

In the words of big sister Candace- Mom you are totally BUSTED! They know the truth now.

Of course, then mine wanted to know why I didn't get my biscuits from a bag, because they are so much better, but one day they will appreciate the value of a homemade biscuit:)

I WITNESSED A MIRACLE YESTERDAY....

2011-07-21T07:18:00.000-07:00

in my very own front yard. My nephew and niece were over and all the kiddos were playing outside. The MCs were climbing trees and building traps and doing what MCs do. The two oldest decided they needed to move up a tree. Higher heights, bigger risks, the little ones couldn't climb it. You know, big brother stuff. Nephew MC decided he was going to jump out of the tree onto a limb. MC 1 was, initially, against the idea. However, once he saw nephew was committed, MC 1 decided to give him a little assistance. So MC 1 pushed and nephew jumped and that is when I looked up from washing dishes. I saw nephew grab the limb. I saw the limb break. I saw nephew hit the ground. Hard. What you need to know is that around this particular tree are pieces of a planter. Connecting the logs of the planter were pieces of rebar (metal bars) , and (since part of their day included tearing up said planter) there was a piece sticking up about a foot right under him.
And he missed it ya'll.
Not by much but he did.
And he missed tearing his back up on the other logs behind him.
I didn't call sister right away because our mama minds go to what could have been quickly.
I did spend a few minutes saying Thank you Jesus! Thank you Jesus! while standing at my kitchen sink.
Some say luck.
Some say chance.
I say Jesus.
It was a miracle first hand.

* New post over on Deliberately Delivered. Do we lack knowledge or do we reject it?
Have a great day!

A WELL GUARDED HOME

2011-07-20T07:27:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I saw this picture on Travis Cottrell's blog.

I could not help but smile because I knew exactly how it happened.

It inspired me to show you guys the guards we have at our house.

TO GO TO THE ER OR NOT...

2011-07-18T06:00:00.000-07:00

Every mom has been there.

Your child comes in crying.

There is blood.

You are trying to triage the injury.

Then you have to make the call.

ER or not?

Yesterday, we opted for not. MC 1 came in, tears mixed with blood. I looked around and thought the initial injury was on the top of his eye. I would not make a good triage nurse. The actual wound is in his lower lash line where he managed to flay open the bottom portion of his eye. Right into the lashes.

How you ask?

He and MC 2 were playing a "game",

he fell, and hit his eye on....

get this freak of an accident...on a part of a Wii gun.

His eye is fine, praise the Lord. And believe you me, we were giving so serious praise to Him. He is really hoping it leaves a cool scar. Said it makes him feel like a UFC fighter.

I will probably put a call into the nurse to give me peace of mind (because yes, I am that mom).

ER or not?

I am pretty sure I will be asking that question again with these MCs.

Praise God for wisdom.

While typing this, HH called and suggested we just go to the doctor.

Just to be sure, 'cause he is that dad:)

And we watch a lot of UFC:)

I agree.

BAD WAKE UP....

2011-07-15T07:45:00.001-07:00

I woke up this morning not feeling it.

Know what I mean?

When you wake up in a funk and you have not even set your feet on the ground yet?

No?

Yes?

Maybe?

Help a gal out here peeps.

Anyway, I find that on days such as this, the best thing I can do (for me and everyone I will come into contact with during the day) is get right into my devo time. So I did.

May I say Micah is a toe stomper if ever there was one.

And 2 Kings?

Really, fearing the Lord yet serving their own idols?

No need to call a girl out like that.....

I also had a post that had been sitting in draft status for weeks now over on Deliberately Delivered, so I finished that, with thanks to last week's sermon to give me a swift kick.

The other thing I find helpful is some Toby Mac,

mixed in with a little Kirk Franklin,

so I am off to crank that bad boy up!

Hope you have a great Friday and a wonderful weekend!

FIRE DRILL...

2011-07-14T03:36:00.000-07:00

at 3:30 AM is what I thought we were having this morning. MCs alarm clock decided I needed up. Which I did not, but I did.

And I worked out.

And blogged.

And decided it was enough for today.

Except that,

after two years of sitting on the sidelines,

I am back in the public education game and have a workshop today.

But for your reading pleasure,

or sheer confusion because I am not sure it makes sense,

I have a post for you over on Deliberately Delivered.

Battle Ready.....are you?

Have a wonderful day!

A DAY AT AUNT RHONNA'S...

2011-07-11T04:47:00.000-07:00

Last Thursday I had my sister's kids at my house. I had planned on doing nothing. Really, I had. Until mid-morning when my MIL called and told me her barn was burning. To the ground. She was at home alone, with three kids under the age of 6, including MC 2. (I have to confess my first thought was focused in MC 2's location and was he a possible suspect. He was not). So I loaded up the truck and away we went. My sister's WC was very excited. I have never seen a real fire except on a candle.
When we got there, the barn was already gone. My FIL lost everything in there. Saddles, tack, fishing gear, a Bad Boy buggy, a Mule (the ATV), tools, and coolers. RV's were damaged. More for him, keepsakes were lost. It has been a very hard week on both of them. All of them.
But little kids don't realize that. We ended up with seven kids at the house watching the fire. I did the only thing I knew to do, which was set them up lawn chairs where they could see in the backyard and serving refreshments. Their primary concern was the pool....oh please spare the pool. FYI the pool is right behind the house so it had no chance of burning, but you see their priorities.
In the loss, my father-in-law has mourned. He knows it was just stuff, but it was his stuff. His memories. I think we can all understand that.
My sister's kids are coming back this week. I hope I have nothing to report:)

AND THE HIGHLIGHT OF OUR DAY WAS...

2011-07-06T05:50:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I decided to tackle the MCs closet versus cleaning the rest of the house. My washing machine was on hiatus and that pretty well zapped any desire to clean straight out of me. We went through clothes, tried on pants and shirts, and then returned the keepers to the closet. Now I confess, I like an organized closet. I like dress shirts together, pants together, skirts together....you get the picture. When I organize the boys clothes, it is pretty much the same plan, minus the skirts. MC 1, over the last year or so, has decided to organize his closet himself.
The clothes on the right are for school.
The clothes on the left are for church.
The lone shirt in the middle....it's a switch hitter.
Church or school, it can do both.
Versatile, yep, that is what it is.

DOTS

2011-07-05T04:10:00.000-07:00

What are your ...?(click the dots)

JULY 4th.....

2011-07-04T20:35:00.000-07:00

THEY ARE LEAVING THE NEST...

2011-07-04T01:05:00.000-07:00

Not the big one....
The little one on his finger.

Their little tails are shrinking.
They are stretching their legs.
They are hopping away for their sweet little lives.
Be great if they could take a puppy or two with them.

SUMMER WALKS

2011-07-01T01:21:00.000-07:00

LAST I SAW YOU....

2011-06-30T01:17:00.000-07:00

I was left holding the bag.

Actually, MC 2 was holding the bag.

Amidst my many protests, MC 1 said,

"Well, just be glad it wasn't poop."

Well, yes, son, I am rather glad of that.

My sister's kids were here Monday.

(They were not contributors to our "survival bag". She would want you to know that.)

Her MC has a fascination and astounding knowledge of all things military.

He and MC 2 can talk army guys for hours.

He is pretty much the only one MC 2 will even play army guys with, civilly.

A female cousin tried to participate in his army guy training exercise while we were in West Texas.

Mom! She can not play. Army guys do not have girls.

Yes, girls can be in the army.

I did not know that.

As a treat, I decided to take them to a local war museum. However, no one was there to show us around and I was not about to let them touch, climb on or attempt to fly anything.

SO... the worst mom ever made them leave, enduring the cries of MC 2,

WHY DO WE HAVE TO LEAVE?

THIS PLACE IS THE MOST AWESOME!

I DON'T WANNA GO!

Tuesday, the cat disappeared.

Seems I locked him a closet.

Oops.

That night we had storms blow in.

Nothing major, but you would not have been able to convince MC 1 of that fact.

He spent a portion of the evening carrying said gato around and saying,

We're all going to die.

Of course, he really thought we were when the power abruptly cut off.

Yep... it was then end of it all.

Despite his doomsday predictions, we all slept soundly and survived to fight another day.

If you are reading this, so did you.

Choose the good fight.

1 Timothy 6:12 (NKJV)

Fight the good fight of faith,

lay hold on eternal life,

to which you were also called

and have confessed the good confession

in the presence of many witnesses.

RAISING DAVE AND CODY...

2011-06-27T08:58:00.001-07:00

Just when I thought I would have nothing to say today.....

MC 2 just brought me a Ziploc bag with a urine specimen he and MC 1 had produced.

They were saving to:

1. Show HH

2. Light a fire by using it as a magnifying glass

I am going to bet Dave and Cody's mamas faced similar issues.

I hope they threw it away as quickly as I did.

I am not sure who the survival tactics are for, me or them?

Maybe they should make a show about surviving your sons:)

LAST DAY OF VBS....

2011-06-24T04:48:00.000-07:00

is finally here. It has been really great, but also really tiring. I mean this body hasn't been through a VBS since she was actually in VBS oh so many years ago. Spending every morning with some 40+ second graders has had its perks and its challenges. I just keep reminding myself we are planting seeds, and from our days growing up in Arkansas, I know that seed planting takes work. Lots of it. So I am off to finish planting today and looking forward to the harvest. Have a great weekend!

WHAT'S IN A NAME...

2011-06-23T01:34:00.000-07:00

See this box above?

Full of pigs in a blanket for VBS today.

This simple, yellow, Tupperware box caused a strange reaction in me.

Aware that I would be leaving it in the "deli",

I knew I needed to write my name on it.

And oddly, I found I didn't want to.

Not my married name.

But my maiden name.

Because this box is from my mom.

It is full of memories from my childhood.

It is the box she stored the honey bars in.

It is the box she used for those pecan puff things, rolled in powder sugar,

she made at Christmas time.

The box made many a varsity basketball pregame trips.

It reminds me of my sisters and parents.

Of the group we used to be, and still are when we get the chance.

I liked that little group.

I loved that group.

I am proud of that group.

The box has always been a part of my life as I can remember.

And I could not bring myself to ignore that fact.

But I knew if I wrote my maiden name,

it might never find its way home to me.

So I compromised.

With myself.

That may be more telling than I realize about a lot of things.

I wrote my maiden name on one side,

and my married name on the other.

When I finished, I stared at it and thought how odd the whole emotional response was.

I mean it is just an empty Tupperware box.

Physically.

Emotionally, it is packed full of memories, good memories.

Mom was going to give it away.

I am going to cling to it.

Maybe one day the MCs will have fond memories of that little box.

REASONS WHY I LOVE WEST TEXAS

2011-06-21T19:30:00.000-07:00

1. RaRa & Grandpa,

who welcomed me with open arms some 14 years ago when I made my first trip.

2. Jamie & Greg,

who let us bring our not so quiet MCs

to their awesome and very quiet house and seem to love every minute of it.

3. HH with Grandpa.

Grandpa's health has hit a few bumps.

He told us this weekend one of the things

he missed was being able to cook outside.

It did all our hearts good Friday to see HH and Grandpa cooking out.

Lawn chair and wheel chair side by side, they were happy men.

4. The fact that HH can show the MCs his pets from his childhood.

As much as I dislike snakes, horned toads, tarantulas, and "snake hunting",

the MCs LOVE every minute of it.

Experiences they would never have if we stayed here all the time.

5. The beauty of God's creation.

I love my trees.

They are majestic and powerful.

However, not much can top the West Texas sky at night.

It is absolutely breath taking.

Nothing will make you aware of how very small you are in this big old world.

Realizing that, nothing makes you more aware of the power of God's love for your tiny little self and how important you are to Him.

That puts a very grateful and humble heart in this gal.

He counts the number of the stars;

He calls them all by name.

Great is our Lord, and mighty in power;

His understanding is infinite.

Psalm 147: 4-5 (NKJV)

REASONS WHY I DISLIKE WEST TEXAS

2011-06-20T17:37:00.000-07:00

I had hoped to show you more pictures of why I dislike West Texas.

But right now I dislike my phone even more.

So you just get a list.

1. The temp was 111 within a few seconds of taking this picture.

2. HH caught a tarantula.

3. HH caught a snake.

4. HH let the boys catch horned frogs.

5. HH takes the boys snake hunting.

Rattlesnakes that is.

But to not be a Negative Nancy, tomorrow, I'll tell you the five reasons I love West Texas.

THE ONE WHERE I CAN'T THINK OF A TITLE....

2011-06-14T04:56:00.001-07:00

You write a post like yesterday and then you think,

Great...now they think I am walking around all full of myself...blah...blah...blah.

Let me assure you, for the days I think I have it all together, there are just as many days when I feel like I couldn't get it together if you gave me the bag and helped.

Which is why my confidence better be tied up in Christ Jesus.

Cause this flesh falls off her self-appointed pedestal A LOT.

I was going to show you pictures of our day yesterday but my phone doesn't want to talk to my computer so you will just have to take my word for it.

We started out bright and early taking Bella to the vet to have her stitches removed.

Did I tell you one of the puppies magically reappeared last weekend?

Uhm-Hhm.

We headed to a not so local library to see the Library of Congress exhibit.

Then it was off to wait in a ridiculous road construction line.

People in Bobcat land...it is going to be a long summer for you.

I mean why would you close down the main intersection in town and 2 miles beyond it in all directions.

Okay maybe dramatic, but it was craziness.

We met up with the sisters (minus one) for lunch at Chick-Fil-A to line out our summer bible study.

Us and every youth group in town.

Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl is on deck.

Not on the shelves it seems as none of us could find it, but on deck.

A stop by a Bible book store, a copy of Made to Crave, a Toby Mac Back2Back Cd, and a Jeremy Camp Cd later we checked out.

Made to Crave.... gonna get all up in my business....I can already tell.

We dashed off to the hospital to check in on my grandfather, who suffered a mini stroke that morning. He is also battling shingles, so any prayers would not be wasted on him.

MC 2 had a check up. He passed. He scored big numbers. He is a big boy.

Round out the day with swimming at Nanny's and some good 'ol chili dogs for supper and it was time to wrap it up.

Which I am.

Have a great Wednesday!

NO! NOT ME....

2011-06-14T01:59:00.000-07:00

Ever sat through a sermon and thought
Man, so and so should really be here!
What's their name should have heard this!
Oh, the one Sunday "they" are not here! "They" need to hear this so bad!

I had one of those moments last Sunday, and as soon as I thought it, the Holy Spirit said,

And yet you are the one here.
Yes, yes I am.
So maybe you ought to look at yourself.

I am not a fan of those moments.
Especially when I think I got it all going on.
Why?
Because those moments quickly remind me that I don't.
Not even close.
But in those moments we can find hope....

As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten. Therefore be zealous and repent.
Revelation 3:19 (NKJV)

May we choose to remember the first part and move quickly to the second in our times of correction.

NO TV CREW....

2011-06-13T01:55:00.000-07:00

So....I have watched a few episodes of Extreme Couponing on

the big 'ol, not bought with a coupon, television.

HH watched one.

Bad idea.

'Nother story.

However, I have decided I could possibly do a little better.

Friday I was excited when my bargain shopping produced this:

Oh, yes 'mam, I most certainly gave a little shout for joy and a praise the Jesus.

Sadly, the others in line were not nearly as excited.

I thought they might give a small applause,

but no,

I was left to celebrate all on my own.

It appeared the long lines dampened their enthusiasm

for anything other than getting out of there.

MC 1 hated every minute of it.

He said bargain shopping made him want to claw his eyes out.

Again with the dramatics.

We celebrated by going to Chick-Fil-A and redeeming our coupons for free ice cream.

If this keeps up, I may get my own TV crew yet.....

A WHOLE LOT OF WORDS ABOUT NOTHIN'

2011-06-09T19:57:00.000-07:00

Summer days are finding me with little to blog about. Which is good I reckon. The most exciting thing they have done so far is play Nerf wars, aka army guys, in the house. Seems my kitchen makes a great battlefield. Much to his dismay, it appears the cat made a great enemy combatant. We are sleeping later than normal, all of us, staying outside till dark. HH has a nice little container garden happening in the front yard. We still have too many puppies and tadpoles. Boys are signed up for the library reading plan. We have been having our at home version of summer school and reading time. I discovered that MC 2 will sit for a while and watch the Military Channel, parent approved shows of course. Guess that is it. Next week will be more exciting I think. How you can top chunkin' calf fries at your friends and mooning your daddy I am not sure, but I bet we will.
Have a great weekend!
Pray for Deeper Still...it is the last one:(

THINGS I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD SAY....

2011-06-07T12:06:00.000-07:00

Hey kids! Ya'll stop throwing those calf fries and hitting each other in the face.

Chunk it over the fence and be done with it.

MC 2 ! Get down off that stool,

pull your britches up,

and quit showing you bootie to your daddy!

We don't show people our backsides.

(HH was weed eating and MC 2 WAS just watching when I left the room.

Upon returning the full moon had shown up).

True stories...

Summer .... here we come:)

2011-06-06T04:40:00.001-07:00

FRESH EYES

WHAT'S ONE MORE...

2011-06-06T02:04:00.000-07:00

I have 500 posts on here. That is a really big number. Makes me wonder what I have done with those 500 posts. Was I honest, with you and myself? Did I point to Jesus? Did I point to myself? All rhetorical questions, but good ones for me to consider.
So here goes #501.
Yesterday we celebrated my grandfather's 94th birthday. We all met up at my parents house for steaks and cake. My aunt and uncle from Dallas we able to join us as well. At 94, my grandfather still lives on his own. He scoots around my parents' farm on his golf cart. He plants his own garden. He entertains little visitors in search of cookies. With my Nanny passing away a little over three years ago, his constant companion has been their cat. Last week he had to have the cat put down. It was tough on him. As he told me on the phone, it was just another piece of his life with my grandmother that was gone. He cried, mourned and then he got right back up the next morning and kept on going. (Fortunately, my parents had a replacement kitty in training so he wasn't alone long). That has been his mantra these past few years. He gets up and keeps on going. Trusting in Christ Jesus for his every need. I think I can say for all of us, we are not just proud that he is 94, we are so very proud of how he has lived those 94 years, especially the last 3. He is such a huge part of our godly heritage. A heritage our kids are very blessed to get to see lived out before their very eyes.
If that wasn't enough fun, we then went to Dude's new house. Dude is HH's baby brother. He and his darling little family just moved into the cutest little house. Seriously, I am pretty sure we were all a little jealous. Cedar closets. Vaulted ceilings. Open floor plan. Yep, if he had room we would all live there:) My father-in-law fried up fish, biscuits, and unofficial "chicken" nuggets, which happened to be nuggets of another kind. AKA Mountain oysters. Google it. The boys rode horses, played outside, and pretty well ran themselves ragged until about 11:00pm.
Needless to say we went to the late church service today.
Tomorrow is the first official day of summer and we have nothing officially planned. Pretty much going to be our theme over the next 3 months. My prayer last week for our summer was that we would remember being together is most important. Enjoying each other, enjoying being a family, and enjoying these few short years we have all on our own. Because in just a few short years, the MCs will be grown and out the door.
But I will think about that tomorrow.....

SHHH......

2011-06-03T05:20:00.001-07:00

Today is the last day of school for the MCs. It has been a good year, though a tough one. In 12 short weeks we will be right back at it.
So I will be brief today because it will the last chance for a while I get to sit and watch anything in quiet.
Have a great weekend!

NEED SUMMER....NEED SLEEP

2011-06-02T06:28:00.000-07:00

My splitting head had some crazy dreams last night. I need to preface the next few statements by telling you-

1. I did not take anything before I went to bed

2. We have a small science experiment going on in which the tadpoles in the dog water are growing larger than the ones in my pretty glass bowl

3. I am sick of tadpoles

I dreamed that we had one tadpole down at some random barn, in a water trough, that grew into a HUGE frog. Prehistoric HUGE! It's strength was indicated when it hit the doors of the bus HH was driving. Then my sister in law SuSu came down to said random barn and brought our daughter so I could change her into a dress, because clearly I kept all her clothes at the barn. She needed a dress because we were going to church where we saw Scotty in an all purple suit. I mean ALL PURPLE.

DEEP PURPLE.

HEAD to TOE.

Which I am thinking he might have actually owned in real life. Anyone else remember?

And then I woke up.

Come on summer.

I need sleep.

MY SPLIITING HEAD....

2011-06-01T07:08:00.000-07:00

For God has not given us a spirit of fear,

but of power and of love

and of a sound mind.

2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV)

Yesterday fear started splitting my mind.
Side One : Fear that is we made decision A it would be the worst mistake we had ever made. The implications would damage our kids irrevocably. There would be no way to recover from it.

Side Two: Fear that decision A could be the best move we ever made. Decision A could be the best thing for the MCs. Fear that we would miss it because I was afraid to step out and do. Then there would be no way to recover from that.

Back and forth, sick to my stomach and tears, I tried to work it out. Both fears equally powerful. Both fears pulling at my mental state. I told HH about after the kids went to bed. Some concerns are valid. They can be addressed. They are not life and death.
It was so much yesterday that I went to bed with a headache. My head physically hurt from being split by fear.
Control. Security. Those words don't make my head hurt. I like to have control of my life. I like to have security. I like a firm grip on things. You know what that grip squeezes out? Faith. Where was my faith that God would provide wisdom when we asked for it, like His word says He will? Where was my faith that scripture would shine like a lamp unto our feet and direct us where to walk next, like His word says it will? Where was my faith that even if we totally blew it and made the worst decision, He could redeem it? I'll tell you where it was. It flew out the window the moment my sound mind was spilt open by fear.
I can't say that my fears are gone this morning. They are still pulling at my thoughts. What I can say is that faith is fighting the good fight to hold that sound mind together. Control and security are losing their grip. I mean, can any follower of Christ ever claim to have control of our lives? The whole point is that we give Him control. He is our security. I think He gets a kick out of throwing us curve balls. Why? Because it delights Him to no end when we choose Him over the fear of what ifs.
Christ or Control?
Faith or Fear?
I choose.

REJECTING THE TEMPTATION

2011-05-31T03:48:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a "re-do" day for me. A rededicating of sorts to regroup and refocus. On my weight loss goals. On my CONSISTENT quite time IN THE MORNING. On housekeeping. On working. On taming our finances, a...g...a...i...n. On the kids. On HH. I had felt things spiraling a bit out of control and had become lackadaisical with school winding down. I don't function well in lackadaisical land. My house does not function well there either. I was off to a good start. My main goal - be honest with myself about what was going on. Whether is was about what I ate, when I exercised, why I spent, or why I did not clean the kitchen, just be honest. No excuses. No justifications. Honesty. Between the Lord and I.

I was off to a great start. I was honest in my food choices. Honest in my quiet time. I felt like I was making progress. Then I got home and hit a HUGE road bump. Pretty sure in the literal sense we would have been airborne and spiraled right down to the ground if we had really hit it. You want to know my first thought?

Of course you did. Of course this happened today. Why wouldn't it? You are fooling yourself.

Do you know what that is? That is a repeat of the very stuff I was trying to break away from.
I will say it is tempting to go back. Easier to wallow than stand some days. But that just gets me dirty and does not move me forward.
So today, with a frustrated heart that has been poured out to God before any of this was even typed, I am rejecting the temptation to wallow. I am rejecting the temptation to blame. I am rejecting the temptation to distrust.

I asked God today to let His light shine through the broken pieces of my very frustrated heart.
I will reject the temptation to snuff out that light.

HE MAKES MY HEAD HURT...

2011-05-30T01:49:00.000-07:00

and it is not HH. Even though listening to him brag about how he has "great teeth" according to our dentist and his hygienist is getting on my nerves since it is coupled with his constant bragging about effortlessly losing weight....but he is not the one.
Bonhoeffer.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer.

I have been reading Christ the Center over the last few days. It is a collection of notes from his lectures at the University of Berlin in 1933. I just need to tell you the geek student in me is absolutely fascinated to be reading lectures from 1933. Total coolness to me, which probably means I just lost all cool points with you. I have had to reread portions several times. In complete quiet. He uses big words. Sometimes I agree with him, other times I think I might agree if I knew what he was talking about. Seriously over my head on some pages. But beautiful still.

The topic is chirstology. I had to google it...you can too. Unless you already know, in which case you are way smarter than me and should be reading this with me so you could explain as we went along. I am about halfway through the book. Sadly, it is only two parts of what was to be a three part lecture series. Bonhoeffer did not finish the third lecture. I need to find the book so I can buy it because I am certain the library does not want me highlighting their version. So I am taking notes. Lots of notes. The first notes I took were just a sentence or two. Then I was done reading the Introduction. Once I got into the actual lectures, it was entire paragraphs and pages. The language is wonderful. As my sister said, nobody talks this way anymore.

When I finish up I am sure I will more to say, but today I will just leave you with one of my favorite quotes so far-

If Jesus is the idealistic founder of a religion, I can be elevated by his work and stimulated to follow his example. But my sins are not forgiven, God still remains angry and I remain in the power of death. Jesus' work leads to despair in myself because I cannot imitate his pattern. But if Jesus is the Christ, the Word of God, then I am not primarily called to emulate him; I am encountered in his work as one who could not possibly do this work myself. Through his work, I recognize the gracious God. My sins are forgiven, I am no longer in death but in life.
(P.38-39)

SHOWING SOME LOVE....

2011-05-29T13:21:00.000-07:00

Finally wrote on Deliberately Delivered.

It was feeling neglected.

CHEMICAL WARFARE

2011-05-27T02:11:00.000-07:00

The MCs have declared chemical warfare on the opposite sex.
And their daddy.
They have discovered HH's cologne stash we got him for Christmas. Last night they decided to try ALL OF THEM! They walked past us and we nearly fell out. It was so strong I could smell it on my hands, after I had a shower, and in their room this morning when I woke them up.
I am thinking this might be a good thing though.
I am pretty sure the "ladies" won't becoming within 20 feet of them.
I know it was only a mother's love that drove me to tuck them in last night.

Side note....I caught a glimpse of MC 1 standing on a stool, brushing his teeth, and trying different hairdo's. He so gets that from his daddy:)

I DO ACTUALLY WRITE STUFF

2011-05-26T04:58:00.000-07:00

Click on over to A Martha Heart to read a book review of Fearless by Max Lucado and a good housecleaning:)

BETH MOORE SHOULD ADOPT HIM

2011-05-25T18:47:00.001-07:00

If you have ever heard Beth Moore talk, she often makes mention how her family name is a fitting one. How she can be prone to excess. If one is good....ten is better kinda thing.
HH is the same way.
If one deer head mounted in our living room is enough, then clearly six is better.
If one dog was enough, obviously nine is taking it just one notch higher.
He is a man who needs more to do. He needs projects. Which is why we have these....
(Imagine a picture of our dogs water bucket. No camera, remember, and my phone was being difficult)
Can't see? Let's zoom in......
(Visualize little tadpoles swimming all around. Probably about ten of them).
Now, being a science teacher, and considering that MC 2 is all about frogs right now, I do not object to these. These however........
(Now picture a large glass mixing bowl, filled with about twenty tadpoles, sitting on our kitchen table).
I am not to crazy about. Mainly because I have visions of coming home one day and finding myself smack in the middle of Pharaoh's plague.
He has grand plans of cooking these bad boys up if they are that sort of frogs.
Yeah....I am not crazy about that either. MC 1 will be brought to tears at the mere thought.
But clearly I will be spending my summer trying to keep the cat out of them and MC 2 from "feeding" them and wondering what will happen if he does "this", whatever "this" may be.

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME...

2011-05-24T13:43:00.000-07:00

Would like to know when Rodney Dangerfield moved into my house?
Because yesterday I listened to MC 1 go on for 20 minutes about how he gets no respect.
Seriously?
Tomorrow is another day.....

IN THE FIGHT....

2011-05-18T15:54:00.000-07:00

I have had the opportunity over the past couple of weeks to be in a high school classroom again. One of the things I have been deeply reminded of is how attacked youth are. A few examples -

One girl told us that her parents never loved each other. Seems her mother informed her that she, the mother, simply wanted to satisfy a fleshly desire and then got pregnant.
And can I say you can see the impact of those words all over this young lady.

One student has been in three schools in two years. Mom met a man on the Internet and moved from another country to marry him. Dad was killed when this student was very young.
And I suddenly understood why this student had SO MANY walls around for protection.

One has a father that works in the oil field and over the past year he had been home a total of approximately 30 days, non-consecutive.
And I understood why this one was so proud for being single for 3 whopping weeks and declared how he/she did not need a significant other while discussing who he/she was going out with next.

A group of young men whose vocabulary is extremely limited to four letter words about a three letter topic. Who, from what I could tell, have had a lot of money spent to keep them entertained.
And I understood why they tried so hard to be part of the group.

I spent time with a new teacher sharing what I had learned during my decade in the classroom. The thing that shocked her the most was when I told her for some kids she would be the most consistent adult in their life and that is a weighty responsibility.

I don't have a clever way to end this one. Just an encouragement to pray for these kids. Pray for the ones you see in the check out line. The ones you see in the fast food drive thru. Pray for your kids at church, because they walk around with a huge target on them. Let's get in the fight with them, and let's fight for them when they can't fight for themselves.

WIPING THE MUD OFF

2011-05-17T18:30:00.000-07:00

We have been in the muck and mire of parenting the last couple of days. Mother's Day 2011 brought on the MC 1 meltdown of 2011. Emotions ran high, words became ugly, and tears flowed freely and that was just from him. At the time I was flying solo, so we crash landed into a mandated nap.
Over the last couple of years we have made some big changes that directly impacted him. He changed schools. Mom quit her job, limiting his funds. We have changed churches twice. After talking with him this week, I think a big part of him feels unsettled. Throw in state mandated testing, the prospect of summer school, developmental changes (with the hormones to go with it) and you have tinder ripe for burning, and burn it did. The flame it appears to most fan is that of rebellion. Over and over again it was "you won't let me do what I want to do." Submission to parental authority waging a full scale attack on his fleshly desire.
I get it. We have made changes in his life he had no control over. We have made decisions, for his good, without letting him in on the decision making process. In an attempt to gain control, MC 1 is assuming that some privileges are his rights. I know. I have been there. I have done the same thing before the Lord God. Things have happened that I had no control over. Things, that even though they were for my good, were hard to adjust to. I have rebelled when I felt out of control. I have claimed privileges as rights. Like MC 1, I have been corrected. Tears flowed, emotions sky rocketed, and words were harsh...and that was from me. But just like HH and I with MC 1, the Father lovingly says to you and I,

I am here to help you.
I am for you.
I love you.

Rebellion can masquerade itself. It can as blatant as walking away from the whole thing or as subtle as grabbing that next piece of brownie. My lack of trust causes me to want to control things and do it my way. Any thing. My food. My money. My time. My attitude.
MC 1 has to know, and at times be reminded, HH and I are for his good. We support him. We encourage him. We also set boundaries for him. We correct him. We discipline him when we need to. We remind him who has the final say. Above all, we love him.
If you are in Christ, our Father does the same thing. Our best parenting is only a shadow of the parenting He provides for us. Our most sincere, most loving intentions towards our kids are just mere scratches on the surface of God's love for us.
We... I, like MC 1, have to believe that. We have to believe He is for our good. Not that we get our way, but that in doing it His way, He gets the glory. Above all we have to believe He loves us. Many days we have to choose those. The world and the prince of it will whisper lies to you otherwise.
No one wants to be your friend.
No one ever talks to you.
No one ever asks you to come over and play.
In talking through these same phrases with MC 1, we were able to pull the truth out from amongst the thorns of the lies that were trying to hold him down. You and I can do the same. It takes time.
It takes work.
It takes helpers.
Ultimately, though, it is our choice.
Our choice to believe.
Our choice to accept.
Our choice to submit.
In Christ or out, you have to know He loves you. He desires to parent you. Not as earthly parents do, good or bad, but as a the perfect Father He is. There is no evil in Him. There is nothing but love. Tough love at times, but perfect love always.

Choose to be His child.

Choose to come back.

Choose to be adopted.

He has already chosen you.

Let Jesus wipe the mud of this world off.

Let Him sanctify you with His words.

Just as MC 1 cried, let the tears fall before Jesus, and let Him use them to clear your vision as to who you are in Him.

Sanctify them by Your truth. Your word is truth.

John 17:17 (NKJV)

SCHOOL IS ALMOST OUT!

2011-05-16T16:58:00.001-07:00

OLDER

2011-05-15T20:48:00.000-07:00

Not me.

Not yet.

Them.

Over the past couple of months, each one has had a birthday.

And for each year, they have gained,

I am pretty sure I have gained five.

But as I am going to grow older, and clearly I am,

I can't think of a better group of MCs

to grow old with.

Love you guys.

REMEMBER THAT OTHER KID...

2011-05-12T07:39:00.000-07:00

we have.
'Member him?
Well, in the midst of the mud, we had to parent his future. We had a meeting a couple of months ago about his academic future. Actually, I took the meeting, relayed the details to HH, and we made plans for what we thought should happen next. We had a follow-up meeting earlier this week. I took that one, too. I think I am going to start carrying a Polaroid of HH with me. I'll set him out at meetings and such, as proof. Sorta of like Ross did when he asked Phoebe to show Ben his picture while he was in Japan, where he met that Julie woman and derailed the entire Rachel relationship for a bit. As you can tell, I watched way too many episodes and, it would seem, too many reruns.
Back to the kid, he has a learning problem called I don't wanna (IDW).
MC 2 I need you to count to 20...I don't wanna.
I know he can count to 20. We work on it every day. But when his I don't wanna kicks in we might make it to 15. Sadly, it only seemed to manifest itself on testing days. So the initial meeting was a bit touch and go as to what the district thought would be best. Lucky for them, I knew we had the final say. One thing we did was have his speech tested.
The meeting this week was much more optimistic. His IDW syndrome seems to have died down and he has made great improvements in a few short weeks. His results for speech were at a level that required intervention, but not full on therapy. To our district's credit, they started with him the same day as the meeting. There was no rebuttal when I informed them we weren't retaining him. There was encouragement and ideas as to how to help him be successful next year.
So, little one is moving on.
As my sister said yesterday, we will wove him regardless of the fact that he thinks a leaf is a weaf.
And we wove you too!

WIPING THE MUD OFF

2011-05-11T10:02:00.000-07:00

We have been in the muck and mire of parenting the last couple of days. Mother's Day 2011 brought on the MC 1 meltdown of 2011. Emotions ran high, words became ugly, and tears flowed freely and that was just from him. At the time I was flying solo, so we crash landed into a mandated nap.
Over the last couple of years we have made some big changes that directly impacted him. He changed schools. Mom quit her job, limiting his funds. We have changed churches twice. After talking with him this week, I think a big part of him feels unsettled. Throw in state mandated testing, the prospect of summer school, developmental changes (with the hormones to go with it) and you have the tender ripe for burning, and burn it did. The flame it appears to most fan is that of rebellion. Over and over again it was "you won't let me do what I want to do." Submission to parental authority waging a full scale attack on his fleshly desire.
I get it. We have made changes in his life he had no control over. We have made decisions, for his good, without letting him in on the decision making process. In an attempt to gain control, MC 1 is assuming that some privileges are his rights. I know. I have been there. I have done the same thing before the Lord God. Things have happened that I had no control over. Things, that even though they were for my good, were hard to adjust to. I have rebelled when I felt out of control. I have claimed privileges as rights. Like MC 1, I have been corrected. Tears flowed, emotions sky rocketed, and words were harsh...and that was from me. But just like HH and I with MC 1, the Father lovingly says to you and I,

I am here to help you.
I am for you.
I love you.

Rebellion can masquerade itself. It can as blatant as walking away from the whole thing or as subtle as grabbing that next piece of brownie. My lack of trust causes me to want to control things and do it my way. Any thing. My food. My money. My time. My attitude.
MC 1 has to know, and at times be reminded, HH and I are for his good. We support him. We encourage him. We also set boundaries for him. We correct him. We discipline him when we need to. We remind him who has the final say. Above all, we love him.
If you are in Christ, our Father does the same thing. Our best parenting is only a shadow of the parenting He provides for us. Our most sincere, most loving intentions towards our kids are just mere scratches on the surface of God's love for us.
We... I, like MC 1, have to believe that. We have to believe He is for our good. Not that we get our way, but that in doing it His way, He gets the glory. Above all we have to believe He loves us. Many days we have to choose those. The world and the prince of it will whisper lies to you otherwise.
No one wants to be your friend.
No one ever talks to you.
No one ever asks you to come over and play.
In talking through these same phrases with MC 1, we were able to pull the truth out from amongst the thorns of the lies that were trying to hold him down. You and I can do the same. It takes time.
It takes work.
It takes helpers.
Ultimately, though, it is our choice.
Our choice to believe.
Our choice to accept.
Our choice to submit.
In Christ or out, you have to know He loves you. He desires to parent you. Not as earthly parents do, good or bad, but as a the perfect Father He is. There is no evil in Him. There is nothing but love. Tough love at times, but perfect love always.

Choose to be His child.

Choose to come back.

Choose to be adopted.

He has already chosen you.

Let Jesus wipe the mud of this world off.

Let Him sanctify you with His words.

Just as MC 1 cried, let the tears fall before Jesus, and let Him use them to clear your vision as to who you are in Him.

Sanctify them by Your truth. Your word is truth.

John 17:17 (NKJV)

WHAT I HAVE HEARD RECENTLY

2011-05-10T08:28:00.001-07:00

a great sermon by David Jeremiah on persecution. Key thought for me was: am I being persecuted for Christ or am I behaving badly, even as a Christian, and reaping the consequences? BIG DIFFERENCE. How do we know the difference? How do you know the difference? Do we tend to lean toward persecution when we don't get our way?

thoughts by Perry Noble about biblical correction. My question is who corrects when the pastor is it? When the buck stops with him? Where is correction to come from then? And what do you as a church member do when correction, at any level, is lacking or ignored?

from Matthew Barnett on Life Today: Relevant tries to fits in, revolutionary tries to change the dynamic of the community. How does that affect today's churches? Does it speak into my life in any way?

What I would like to read is your responses to these questions.

Looking forward to them.

BUT I WILL SLEEP BETTER...

2011-05-09T12:18:00.000-07:00

I really have nothing for you today.

Which means I probably have stuff I am sorting through,

deciding if I want to share it.

Probably.....

In the mean time,

I will sleep better tonight know that these offenders are behind bars.

Because those lawn mower racers are a dangerous breed,

or so I reckon.

Seems my biting sarcasm is in rare form today.

MAMAS....

2011-05-06T14:39:00.000-07:00

to babies we saw go back to Jesus before we ever were to hold them...

yet still hold them in our hearts.

to our own men children and women children we love on each day...

and to droves of high school kids we loved for a season.

to neighborhood kids and friends' kids and kids whose mamas needed help.

If you ask any one of us girls what our deepest desire is right now....

it is to just be mamas.

Good mamas.

Mamas who love Jesus.

Mamas who kids know that by our actions as well as our words.

Mamas who honor the daddys we share our children with.

Mamas who pass on to the generations to come

the faith, knowledge, and love of Christ Jesus.

Like the one we have.

May it be said of us and our children one day....

"...when I call to remembrance the genuine faith that is in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice, and I am persuaded is in you also."

2 Timothy 1:5 (NKJV)

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

BECAUSE IN TEXAS...

2011-05-05T14:33:00.000-07:00

Even Batman wears boots:)

FAITH REMEDIATION 101

2011-05-04T15:12:00.000-07:00

So I have been wrestling with an issue.

You've gotta be tired of reading that...cause I am tired of saying it....but I think there may always be something we are working out because He knows I have got enough for Him to work with.....

My hang up was I could not see what things were going to look like.

I had no clear vision of the end result.

I kept saying, "Yes Lord I want to obey but I don't know what it looks like,"

which basically meant I wasn't moving until He showed me.

In case you are new to this Christian walk, or to God period, He does not cower to demands.

E...V...E...R....

The sermon I heard on Sunday was the equivalent of a knock on the knuckles with a ruler.

The sting hung around for a bit giving me plenty to ponder on.

Monday, it hit.

You are not required to.

Now let me say here there are times when I have to be reminded of lessons I already know. Times when head knowledge needs to be reignited into heart knowledge.

Remediation if you will.

This was one of those times.

I don't have to know what things are going to look like.

All I have to know is what Christ has said to do and obey.

I am not responsible for making things look pretty or nice.

He is.

I am not responsible for how it all works out.

He is.

My job...

seek Him...

hear Him...

obey Him...

trust Him...

I have no idea how this will pan out.

I really don't. What I do have an idea of is what He requires of me when the situation presents itself.

And it will.

Probably soon.

For you newbies, He likes to do that as well.

I don't like remediation.

But I choose to be grateful for it.

"Being confident of this very thing, that He who begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ."

Philippians 4:6 (NKJV)

Because even though I can't see the end result, He can.

And it is for and to His glory:)

SOMETHING...

2011-05-03T06:02:00.000-07:00

Mc 2, where is the bag this game goes in?

I don't know. I'll go get a new one.

No...I don't have anymore. Find the bag it goes in.

Minutes pass by.....

I found one!

What was in that bag before?

Something....

What was it?

Something....

Where is that something now?

Out....

Thank you for clearing that up, son.

FRUSTRATED...

2011-04-29T02:53:00.000-07:00

Ya'll know what happened to my camera, right?
The other day I remembered that my video camera, archaic thing it is in the world of iPhones, actually takes pictures. I was super excited! Because in the last few weeks I have been attempting to take pictures of the puppies to make a poster with. You know, to get rid of them.... I mean... find them a loving home. Anyway, I had taken some with HH's work camera and put them on my computer. I, of course, deleted them from his camera's memory card as soon as I moved them over. Then MC 1 deleted them from my computer as soon as I turned my back. He is having separation issues. I tried taking some with my phone and emailing them to myself. Fail. So when I recalled that neat little tidbit about my video camera, I was amped. I was taking pictures of all the things I wanted to show you guys. I had pictures of how to make chicken fried venison steak for AMH. I had pictures of the boys after they had used their blue and purple Crayola Color Wonder bubbles for body paint. I took pictures yesterday of my mom and I killing locusts trees, AGAIN. Not as impressive as the first day. She toned it down after the public backlash from the first time. The really was no backlash, just me telling my dad at lunch that I was just trying to stay alive when he asked how it was going.
So I have all this stuff to show you. I am up early, NOT watching the royal wedding so I can get all these pictures over. And this is where frustration hits because my cordy thingy that connects my camera to my computer, it doesn't fit, and I can't seem to find where it needs to fit or what attachment I need or whatever.
Ugh...........
But hey, now you know that I think of you.
I am willing to sacrifice sleep and rest for you.
A plus, no?

PRAYING...

2011-04-28T05:24:00.000-07:00

for Alabama....

for MC 1.....

for so many.

The answer to them all.....

Jesus.

AT LEAST IT WASN'T HIM....

2011-04-27T07:16:00.001-07:00

We had severe weather round these here parts yesterday.

Even an official PDS...a potentially dangerous situation.

Brilliance....

I am not a fan of tornadoes.

However, since the MCs appeared, I have become much more

adept at giving my fear over to God. Thank you Jesus!

I was okay yesterday until I heard that the Discovery Channel Storm Chasers were near. I looked around and did not recognize any of the names they had down here, so I figured the big stuff would be else where.

Then I saw the following video.

He is a big dog.

He is looking for the real deal.

He has an armored car.

Hello.....he means business.

Now I must confess, I would have been more nervous if it was Reed.

Reed is insane.

Reed likes to get in the tornado.

IN IT!

Seems we are raising a mini Reed.

Not MC 1.

He has his mama's fear.

It's the other one.

He was so juiced up at the thought of a tornado.

He was leaning out the window yelling " A TORNADO! A TORNADO!".

He was disappointed we did not have massive damage all over our yard.

Gratefully, we had only rain.

Many others had much worse.

Please pray for those today who are recovering.

Please pray for those who are in the line of fire today.

Pray Jesus all over them.

Pray He calms the physical winds.

Pray He calms the winds of fear that blow through their hearts.

May winds of doubt and confusion be replaced

with winds fresh from the Holy Spirit full

of grace and peace and assurance in Him.

SMARTER THAN THE TV SHOWS WE WATCH...

2011-04-26T01:20:00.000-07:00

MC 1 has a very diverse vocabulary.

Which is surprising because he struggles with reading.

He informed my mom that he was "mortified" at church Easter Sunday.

Why, you ask?

Because we took a family photo.

We are not even a teenager yet.

I didn't have the heart to tell him the family embarrassment only goes down hill from here;)

Yesterday, I heard an assault going on in the bathroom.

When MC 1 emerged, the interrogation began.

The target of the assault...

a fly.

Who apparently was, and I QUOTE,

"mocking" him.

Really?

I told my mom it is not like we are watching Sense and Sensibility over here.

Trust me..we aren't.

And I have no other thoughts about this.

Just perplexed and felt you could be perplexed with me.

'Cause we are all in this thing together;)