I am sitting in the middle of my parent's back hay pasture. Down below us, mom and dad are bailing round & square bales. HH and the boys are sighting in rifles for youth weekend coming up. I just watched the Aggies play and graded a few benchmarks.
The sun is shining, the wind is blowing, tractors are humming in the background, and HH is happy as a lark.
So these words are few.............................
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
CHUNKING ROCKS AND RUNNING AWAY
I can proudly report that the track around the hay pasture is still in use. I have come along way since just barely walking it this summer. I am up to running six laps now. Which is great, however, in the midst of just trying to remember to breathe, I sometimes forget to keep count of my laps. So today I came up with a plan. I picked up six rocks and laid them on the bumper of HH's truck. As I finished a lap I would pick up a rock and chunk it. I made my first lap, picked up my rock, and was immediately reminded of the verse, "here I raise my Ebenezer..." and the scripture that goes with it. Read 1 Samuel for the full version. What came to my mind was verse 12 of chapter 7.
Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen, and called its name Ebenezer, saying, "Thus far the Lord has helped us."
With rock in hand, I thought of something the Lord had brought me through and then I chunked that rock. I ran another lap, picked up another rock, recalled another of the Lord's faithful actions toward me, and chunked that one.
Round and round I went, taking each lap to think of what my rock chunking would be for. Before I knew it my six laps were up. You know what I found? Not only was my body strengthened, but so was my soul. Faithfulness remembered will do that for you.
I am betting you have some Ebenezers as well. Maybe you don't lay out six rocks on the back of your husband's truck. Maybe you lay out 6 rocks by the diaper changing table. Maybe out by the laundry detergent and the washing machine. Maybe your rocks are stacked up by the water cooler at work. Or in your desk. Or wherever.
Point is you can put them some where. How cool would it be to pause in that moment and remember the faithfulness of God. Some days, some of us might be running to our rocks if you know what I mean.
I am going to tell you something and I don't want you to freak out. In my head, when I was chunking my rocks, after I named out loud what I was remembering, I pretended to be chunking them at the gates of hell. Sort of a TAKE THAT!! moment. I did, I really did.
I encourage you to get some rocks. Stack them near a location you frequent. Girls, it could be in the bathroom. It doesn't matter. Each time you go by them, pick one up, and recall the Lord's faithfulness to you.
Then start chunking those rocks and keep on running!!!
Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen, and called its name Ebenezer, saying, "Thus far the Lord has helped us."
With rock in hand, I thought of something the Lord had brought me through and then I chunked that rock. I ran another lap, picked up another rock, recalled another of the Lord's faithful actions toward me, and chunked that one.
Round and round I went, taking each lap to think of what my rock chunking would be for. Before I knew it my six laps were up. You know what I found? Not only was my body strengthened, but so was my soul. Faithfulness remembered will do that for you.
I am betting you have some Ebenezers as well. Maybe you don't lay out six rocks on the back of your husband's truck. Maybe you lay out 6 rocks by the diaper changing table. Maybe out by the laundry detergent and the washing machine. Maybe your rocks are stacked up by the water cooler at work. Or in your desk. Or wherever.
Point is you can put them some where. How cool would it be to pause in that moment and remember the faithfulness of God. Some days, some of us might be running to our rocks if you know what I mean.
I am going to tell you something and I don't want you to freak out. In my head, when I was chunking my rocks, after I named out loud what I was remembering, I pretended to be chunking them at the gates of hell. Sort of a TAKE THAT!! moment. I did, I really did.
I encourage you to get some rocks. Stack them near a location you frequent. Girls, it could be in the bathroom. It doesn't matter. Each time you go by them, pick one up, and recall the Lord's faithfulness to you.
Then start chunking those rocks and keep on running!!!
I'M GOOD...
I'm good.
I wanted you to know that.
Not because the circumstances in my life are always perfect.
Not because I have done it right.
But because I am chosen.
In the midst of it all, I am hand-picked.
By hands that chose to be nailed to a cross.
The same hands that choose hold me.
So, I'm good.
Even when I'm not.
You can be too.
Just choose.
Jesus.
I wanted you to know that.
Not because the circumstances in my life are always perfect.
Not because I have done it right.
But because I am chosen.
In the midst of it all, I am hand-picked.
By hands that chose to be nailed to a cross.
The same hands that choose hold me.
So, I'm good.
Even when I'm not.
You can be too.
Just choose.
Jesus.
Thursday, October 11, 2012
WHEN DOING LIFE TOGETHER IS A SOLO ACT
*Or at least feels like it, because as Christians, we know we are not alone.
Doing life together.
Oh how I struggle with those words. I wish I didn't but I do. When we were growing up, my family and I attended a small, country Methodist church, and there we did life together. The people we went to church with were a lot of the kids we went to school with. The grown-ups who sat in Sunday school class together had holiday parties together. The people we took food to and threw showers for when they had babies were the same people we took food to and cried with when they lost loved ones. We did birthdays together. We trick-or-treated their houses on our set route that included a midway coffee stop for mama at Mrs. Gail's.
Please don't email me about the evils of trick-or-treating. Well, you can, but my answer will be this. You know what we did for Halloween? We dressed up in non-demonic costumes and got candy. Know what my kids do at fall fests? Dress up in non-demonic costumes and get candy.
Ok back on track. They were the same people we made goodie trays for at Christmas and walked to visit when it snowed. They were the houses we had Easter Sunrise service and breakfast at and then turned around and went back to church to be with them a few hours later.
Our families did a lot of life together.
We moved, and that went away. For me at least, and I think my parents for a time being. It would be 20+ years before I felt that again, after HH and I were married. The people we went to church with were the people we did life with. We had babies, we worked the nursery, we celebrated holidays. We cried when loved ones were lost, we mourned when relationships failed, we celebrated new life - both physical and spiritual.
Then we left, and that went away.
It hasn't come back.
I know it takes time, but I miss that. Therein lies the struggle. I miss that for me. I miss that for my boys. I miss that for HH.
The hard part is, there is no one to blame. It's not the old church's fault, and it's not the new church's fault. It is just where we are.
Well, where I am.
And can I tell you, there is a lot of choosing to be done in that place. In that place, church can be lonely. In that place, the enemy can speak lies and tell you it is not just a feeling. You are alone. You don't fit. You don't have a place. You feel insignificant.
And choices have to made.
My family can tell you I don't always choose well.
But then again, by His grace, some days I do.
Doing life together.
Oh how I struggle with those words. I wish I didn't but I do. When we were growing up, my family and I attended a small, country Methodist church, and there we did life together. The people we went to church with were a lot of the kids we went to school with. The grown-ups who sat in Sunday school class together had holiday parties together. The people we took food to and threw showers for when they had babies were the same people we took food to and cried with when they lost loved ones. We did birthdays together. We trick-or-treated their houses on our set route that included a midway coffee stop for mama at Mrs. Gail's.
Please don't email me about the evils of trick-or-treating. Well, you can, but my answer will be this. You know what we did for Halloween? We dressed up in non-demonic costumes and got candy. Know what my kids do at fall fests? Dress up in non-demonic costumes and get candy.
Ok back on track. They were the same people we made goodie trays for at Christmas and walked to visit when it snowed. They were the houses we had Easter Sunrise service and breakfast at and then turned around and went back to church to be with them a few hours later.
Our families did a lot of life together.
We moved, and that went away. For me at least, and I think my parents for a time being. It would be 20+ years before I felt that again, after HH and I were married. The people we went to church with were the people we did life with. We had babies, we worked the nursery, we celebrated holidays. We cried when loved ones were lost, we mourned when relationships failed, we celebrated new life - both physical and spiritual.
Then we left, and that went away.
It hasn't come back.
I know it takes time, but I miss that. Therein lies the struggle. I miss that for me. I miss that for my boys. I miss that for HH.
The hard part is, there is no one to blame. It's not the old church's fault, and it's not the new church's fault. It is just where we are.
Well, where I am.
And can I tell you, there is a lot of choosing to be done in that place. In that place, church can be lonely. In that place, the enemy can speak lies and tell you it is not just a feeling. You are alone. You don't fit. You don't have a place. You feel insignificant.
And choices have to made.
My family can tell you I don't always choose well.
But then again, by His grace, some days I do.
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
ODD BALLS
As I was putting sheets on the bed tonight and recalling a conversation from the past week with my colleagues, I thought it might be fun to see if you guys are as odd as I am. So here is a list of 5 of my odd tendencies. In no particular order might I add.
1. The pillows must go in the pillow case tag end first.
2. I have to see with my eyes & touch with my hands that my iron is unplugged. Then I have to make a mental note that I have.
3. My clothes in my closet are arranged in the following order: dress shirts, dress jackets, dress pants, t-shirts, coats. HH's lack of organization slays me.
4. I can not stand it when people walk on the wrong side of the mall. Yes, there is a correct side. You walk the first time on the outside & come back around the inside.
5.Oh, I can't believe I almost forgot this one - I don't drink after people. Not even my own. Unless it is an emergency. And I don't want them drinking after me. I will give them my drink before I drink after them. I have refused my own children. One reason - backwash.
Okay- so now it is your turn. Make a sister feel better!
1. The pillows must go in the pillow case tag end first.
2. I have to see with my eyes & touch with my hands that my iron is unplugged. Then I have to make a mental note that I have.
3. My clothes in my closet are arranged in the following order: dress shirts, dress jackets, dress pants, t-shirts, coats. HH's lack of organization slays me.
4. I can not stand it when people walk on the wrong side of the mall. Yes, there is a correct side. You walk the first time on the outside & come back around the inside.
5.Oh, I can't believe I almost forgot this one - I don't drink after people. Not even my own. Unless it is an emergency. And I don't want them drinking after me. I will give them my drink before I drink after them. I have refused my own children. One reason - backwash.
Okay- so now it is your turn. Make a sister feel better!
Friday, September 28, 2012
NOTHING SAYS FALL LIKE THE SMELL OF DIRT...
My laptop is still on the fritz & I've had neither the time nor the energy to deal with it. I hope to remedy the issue soon, but you're talking to a gal who has managed to forget about her husband's clothes at the dry cleaner for going on 2 weeks now. I have got to go get those today! Y'all remind me.
Well, fall is officially here. Which means I'll see a lot more of my parents than I do the rest of the year and my dryer will smell like dirt. MC 2 spent the last few weeks of the month asking if it was fall yet. Once the answer to that question was a yes, he switched to wanting to know when winter was coming and wishing for snow. Yesterday that led to a discussion about the episode of Little House on the Prairie when the big blizzard came, the snow was all the way up to Laura's window, & Pa had to walk to the barn. A tidbit I am sure is completely useless to you.
HH has a new game plan for hunting season. He has now decided that I shall purchase a license and join them in the woods. I will hunt with MC 1 & he will hunt with MC 2. However, because he "knows it has been a while" since I've hunted, he feels I need to join him in the woods during bow season. I pointed out the stand is only good for one person, and that I had no intentions of sitting on the ground where the wild hogs roam, but he assured me we would work something out. Personally, I think he has a crush on me & is just trying to secure some alone time. It's either that or he is thinking if we all have tags we can get even more deer. MC 1 is very excited about it. Well, he's very excited about shopping to equip me. Clearly, I need a great deal of camo & pink. The mere thought thrills him to no end, but we are talking about a child who thinks I need a new purse that is camouflage & has a big cross with rhinestones on it, so really, who is surprised.
I think I have reached my phone blogging limits. Plus, it's 4:20 on the am & I have already been up for thirty minutes. Sleep hates me.
So, I shall bid you adieu.
Have a great Friday everyone!
Well, fall is officially here. Which means I'll see a lot more of my parents than I do the rest of the year and my dryer will smell like dirt. MC 2 spent the last few weeks of the month asking if it was fall yet. Once the answer to that question was a yes, he switched to wanting to know when winter was coming and wishing for snow. Yesterday that led to a discussion about the episode of Little House on the Prairie when the big blizzard came, the snow was all the way up to Laura's window, & Pa had to walk to the barn. A tidbit I am sure is completely useless to you.
HH has a new game plan for hunting season. He has now decided that I shall purchase a license and join them in the woods. I will hunt with MC 1 & he will hunt with MC 2. However, because he "knows it has been a while" since I've hunted, he feels I need to join him in the woods during bow season. I pointed out the stand is only good for one person, and that I had no intentions of sitting on the ground where the wild hogs roam, but he assured me we would work something out. Personally, I think he has a crush on me & is just trying to secure some alone time. It's either that or he is thinking if we all have tags we can get even more deer. MC 1 is very excited about it. Well, he's very excited about shopping to equip me. Clearly, I need a great deal of camo & pink. The mere thought thrills him to no end, but we are talking about a child who thinks I need a new purse that is camouflage & has a big cross with rhinestones on it, so really, who is surprised.
I think I have reached my phone blogging limits. Plus, it's 4:20 on the am & I have already been up for thirty minutes. Sleep hates me.
So, I shall bid you adieu.
Have a great Friday everyone!
Monday, September 17, 2012
NEVER DONE
If you have kids, or work with kids, or pretty much have any interaction with the fellow sojourners on this earthly walk then you have probably said things you wished you hadn't. MC 2 is a patience testing child. In more ways than I could have ever imagined. Big stuff that leaves you speechless. Little stuff that wears you down. When we were home together and he had tested me to my max, I would send him to his room and say, "I am done with you."
Yep, I gasp when I read it as well.
Then, I try not to fall apart.
Now, it absolutely breaks my heart to know I said it to him.
Thankfully, the Holy Spirit convicted me and corrected me. He showed me a truth I was planting in my child. I was telling him there was a point where I gave up. Where I said he had gone to far and I was withdrawing myself. Now, while my actions were to come back, my words left the impression that a day will come when I wouldn't.
Did I want that for him? To wonder if the parent who was to love him, protect him, and be there for him was going to someday say I am done.
The hard truth of the matter is a great deal of my heart's battle is revealed in that statement. While I know in my head Christ will never be done with me, there is a portion of my flesh that often wonders if I have gone too far. Have I done this or that one time too many? Have I pushed to the point where Jesus would send me away and tell me He was done with me? With those flesh and fear fed doubts comes an onslaught of twisted emotions and insecurities. Havoc is wrecked in my spiritual life and the damage is played out before me in my physical life.
That is when I must choose.
To listen to the carnal voice saying He is done with you or sink my feet into the words of scripture that tell me He is faithful to finish what He started in me (Phil. 1:6).
I don't use that phrase with MC 2 these days. Oh, he still tries me and I will tell him I am done with a behavior or attitude. But done with him, never.
Because praise God, He is never done with me.
Yep, I gasp when I read it as well.
Then, I try not to fall apart.
Now, it absolutely breaks my heart to know I said it to him.
Thankfully, the Holy Spirit convicted me and corrected me. He showed me a truth I was planting in my child. I was telling him there was a point where I gave up. Where I said he had gone to far and I was withdrawing myself. Now, while my actions were to come back, my words left the impression that a day will come when I wouldn't.
Did I want that for him? To wonder if the parent who was to love him, protect him, and be there for him was going to someday say I am done.
The hard truth of the matter is a great deal of my heart's battle is revealed in that statement. While I know in my head Christ will never be done with me, there is a portion of my flesh that often wonders if I have gone too far. Have I done this or that one time too many? Have I pushed to the point where Jesus would send me away and tell me He was done with me? With those flesh and fear fed doubts comes an onslaught of twisted emotions and insecurities. Havoc is wrecked in my spiritual life and the damage is played out before me in my physical life.
That is when I must choose.
To listen to the carnal voice saying He is done with you or sink my feet into the words of scripture that tell me He is faithful to finish what He started in me (Phil. 1:6).
I don't use that phrase with MC 2 these days. Oh, he still tries me and I will tell him I am done with a behavior or attitude. But done with him, never.
Because praise God, He is never done with me.
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