JOY COMPLETED...

The last time I spoke with Niki

she talked about getting her joy back.

The cancer had been vicious

and was taking it's toll on her.

She stood in the church bookstore telling

MIL and myself how she had become

determined in getting her joy back.

She was deliberate.

She was intentional.

She was choosing.

Yesterday, her joy was completed when she entered into the presence of the Lord.

You will show me the path of life;
In your presence is fullness of joy;
At your right hand are pleasures forevermore
Psalm 16:11

A princess with her King.

Whom I have no doubt heard these words....

Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord. Matthew 25:21

And while my heart aches and hurts, my joy is found in Christ Jesus as well, for it is what He came to do.

To console those who mourn in Zion,to give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they may be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord that He may be glorified. Isaiah 61:3

May You alone be glorified in this Christ Jesus.

My friend, our friend, would have wanted nothing more.

Jesus alone.

SCRAPPING THE BOTTOM OF THE BARREL

I spent yesterday trying to recover from a mad dash trip to Hot Springs, Arkansas, for my cousin's wedding. I would recount the events, but it would make you feel bad. Because if anything could go wrong it went wrong with us. Hotel room assigned - already occupied. Toilet in new room - broke. Hot water - MIA. On the positive side the wedding was stunning.
Sunday morning marked the second week that the MCs and I attended Sunday School. HH and I had tried once before but then there was this "episode" at the church (you know... people leaving) so we had not been back. The MCs were resistant, as they are every Sunday, but I just ignored them. When I picked up MC 1 he could not wait to tell me about his class. MC 2 chewed me out for picking him too early. Seems they were not quite done with a particular praise and worship song that he LOVES. Does not matter that it was his second time through praise and worship.
My friend Keri hopped on a big ole jet plane with her men children and hubs yesterday. My heart did ache a little when I saw the picture.
The tadpoles are deceased. Seems MC 2 thought they could sit in the strainer on the counter while we were gone to town. MC 1 will have to find something else to save.
Maybe I will be profound later today....maybe tomorrow.
Or maybe the tank has run dry.

C-YA!

I can not seem to pull together anything that resembles an organized post. The ramblings going on upstairs above this pretty little face are wearing me out. I mean do people really want to read more about MC 2 and how he has now decided he wants to live with either one or both sets of his grandparents for the rest of the summer and how we all K-N-O-W that ain't happening.
Or that my humanitarian MC 1 now has two tadpoles in a flower vase to occupy his bleeding heart since the Lucky's have passed on to ...dirt.
I will be back Monday with an organized post full of shocking and profound brilliance.
Maybe.
I will try to be back Monday?
Til then ...
C-YA!

THE LUCKYS (NOT SO MUCH)

I know MC 2 gets a lot of face time. Today it is MC 1's turn. A few weeks ago MC 1 declared that he was no longer eating beef. Chicken, deer, fish all fine, but no more beef. The problem is his grandparents raise cattle. HH is a huge beef fan. We are all fans of the beef. His reasoning was he did not like the thought of the cows dying. It lasted about 2 days but it did give us a peek into his sensitive heart.

We have catalpa trees all over our yard. If you are a fisherman in the South you know the worms that develop on these trees make great bait. HH decided last week to do a collection. Now, and this will be more than you need to know but important for the story, to preserve said worms, you must blanch them and freeze them. Translation (for those of you like me who were clueless)...you must dump them in almost boiling water and stick 'em in the cooler. As HH prepared for the process he asked MC 1 to help him. It went smoothly until HH started putting the worms into the water.

MC 1 freaked.

Tears.

Yelling.

He attempted to cover the bucket so HH could get no more.

He cried for an hour that night.

Locked himself in the bathroom.

Drama at its highest.

In the end he saved 4.

He named them Lucky, Lucky, Lucky and Lucky (the Luckys for short).

HH fixed up a mason jar for him.

They went outside and collected leaves.

Everyday MC 1 has switched out the old leaves for new ones and tended to the Luckys the best he can.

Sadly, we are now down to Lucky and his other brother Lucky.

(Actually, I think we are down to just Lucky but MC 1 did not want to believe me).

So while I have a no-fear, no holes barred MC 2, I also have a highly emotional, extremely sensitive MC 1.

Just think, we have not even come close to throwing hormones into the mix;)

REASON # 4,567,893 WHY....

before I tell you, remember this?

Okay....

reason # 4,567,893 why

MC 2 can not be left unattended...

I am cleaning off the soap

trying to hide the evidence

Bless his heart he did try to clean up.

Yes I had the paint lid hammered shut.

I thought he was outside.

HH had no clue where he was.

HH: You better pray he comes to know Jesus because if he doesn't it is going to be bad.

We covet your prayers:)

I CONCUR....

with Rampage Jackson's wife

on NOT letting him name

their one and only daughter

RAMPAGE'A.

You are welcome.

SILENCE WITHOUT THE LAMBS

The men children departed from us this past Sunday. MC 1 went to spend the week with JG and go to vacation bible school. MC 2 went to Laudie's and Grandpa's. Sunday night HH kept walking around saying,

Just think, this will be what it is like when we retire.

Yes dear (sob sob) it will.

HH loves his boys but he is looking forward to it being just he and I again. Can anyone else relate? I am thinking,

10 years...they will be gone in 10 years...

It seems too soon.
Monday HH kept calling to see what "it" was like. "It" being the silence of no kids. I have to say it was nice. Weird at first. Honestly I was a little nervous about it. I was afraid with no men children to distract this brain of mine it would run back into anxiety- ville and do some laps around worry town. By the grace of God it did not. Monday I mowed the yard and prepared PW's jalapeno/bacon thingys. Tuesday was really quiet. I spent the day inside, a tad bit unmotivated. By Wednesday I had gotten the hang of being productive. Of course then I had to get MC 2 at lunch, so it was a short lived victory.
Our plans for nice quiet evenings together never came to fruition, so HH and I will just have to relish in the uninterrupted sleep we got.
It is now but a fond memory now that MC 2 has returned.
He did return bearing gifts though.
A waffle "cooker".
Seems child has been deprived of waffles for way too long.
Of course they will pale in comparison to Audie's (aka Laudie).
Much like my pancakes, eggs, gravy.....
That is what happens when you let your firstborn major in Ag in high school instead of Home Ec. But honey I can drive a tractor and haul hay with the best of them:)
Have a great day!
Ya'll come back now ya' here!
Love
Ellie Mae

...AND WE ARE UP TO SATURDAY

Have you recovered from Friday yet?
Me neither:)
Saturday morning found me busting my tail to get things made to go celebrate my mom's 60th birthday.
HH and the men children went to the local barber shop to get cleaned up.
Can I tell you how much I love that?
Not just because they are out of the house, although that is a plus some days.
I love that my boys have a dad, their dad, who wants to and is able to do stuff like that with them. He is there to train them in the ways of menfolk and I am every so grateful.
I was responsible for potato salad and a cake for Saturday.
Being the PW inspired woman that I am, I opted for a FROM SCRATCH red velvet cake.
I know - right?
Well, it all got made and we made it to mom's. Yes - LATE.
But I decided is was subconscious self-sacrifice on my part so the sisters would feel good that they beat me there. Besides they had it all under control. Seems their party planner (ahem* ahem) delegated very well. I would say she used her administrative gifting but as we discovered, she is really just bossy. She does boss well though.
Zip it sisters!
Party was great. HH took each of the boys fishing for some one-on-one time.
Of course he waited until we were in the car to tell me about MC 2. HH is smart like that if nothing else. Seems MC 2 kicked off his flip flops and went sludging around in the pond, water up to his knees. He also picked up a pet- a bass. MC 2 was supposed to throw it back but seems he decided to pack it around for about 15 minutes, giving it water when it started to go lifeless. It was cruel bass Mr. Bass and I am sorry. Some ways of the menfolk I just can't explain.
Someone out there with boys tell you can relate.
Please... I need the encouragement.
When does school start again?
Kidding...I am just kidding;)

UHMMM...YEAH

You would not have wanted to read it. Pretty much anything I would have written last week would have just depressed you. Probably caused you to doubt my salvation. It has been a struggle between the inner spirit man and the flesh man trapped inside this body. If that totally just freaked you out, then it was like this....my facts and faith were colliding head on and my attitude and outlook were collateral damage. Still healing from the wounds.
So we will skip to the Friday review. It was a day that just did not go as planned. It ended up with me at Wal-Mart at 3pm trying to buy groceries. In tow I had two boys who were not content to just push their respective buggy. Oh NO. We wanted to pin brother between the buggies. We wanted to race the buggies. We pretty much wanted to do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING mommy did not want us to do. So at 3:30 we promptly left the store. Unfortunately the cupboards were bare, requiring MC 1 and I to return to said Wal-Mart at 8:30 that night. I NEVER, I mean N-E-V-E-R do I go to the store that late. Especially not with a man child. I had many ads and coupons (yes I am that girl), so I knew it was going to take a while. He was a big help until about 10:00. Then he went into overdrive and our bread caught the brunt of it. Seems he did not hear me yell after him, DO NOT PUT THE MILK ON THE BREAD!, as he raced from the produce section all the way to the back to the dairy section. I would show you a picture but it is no longer 3 dimensional, and no set of high fluten glasses will fix that.
Finally, we checked out and headed back to the truck. Sweet relief right?
No. Someone had decided to write foul words on the truck nice and BIG. Fortunately MC 1 still has problems with his vowel sounds so he could not sound out the word. I spent the drive home avoiding the what was that word question and instructing how we don't write on others cars.
Exhausted just from reading it?
But this is a new week and a new day.
In all this, one fact remains....
I still get to choose.
Choose Jesus.

OPEN LETTER TO MY SPIRIT (AND MAYBE YOURS)

Okay, so things are not like you thought they would be. Life not quite like you had hoped it would turn out. You really did not see yourself here, now. What started out as a difficult situation seems to have turned into a difficult season, which at times colors your vision to believe you have a difficult life. Not true sweet one, not true at all. First, remember who you belong to. You have given yourself to Christ Jesus and you are His. The end. Knowing that, you must know that everything that has come your way has gone through His hands and the hands of our Father. Although you feel things are out of control, they are completely in His control. Cling to that.

You have a choice to make today, this very moment. What are you going to do while you are here? The best choice...the wise choice...is to serve, honor, and seek Him in the midst of all this. Sow some seed to be harvested. Do some damage to prince of this earth. Break loose some chains of bondage. Don't give the enemy on foot of ground in this place. Remember what your Lord has promised you. Remember that He is good, He has a plan, He has never left you for one minute. Remember He is making you more like Himself each and every step of the way. Hold fast to the promises of His word to you.

Now get up and dust yourself off. Wash your face, wipe your tears, fix your countenance. Go out there and do something for Jesus. Big or small, doesn't really matter. Do something. Keep your eyes open for what He has for you today. Walk with expectation that this seemingly time of trials can be, will be if you let it, a great time of victory.

You choose.

Don't forget that.

You choose.

UHHMMMM...I DID NOT MEAN TODAY

I am around chapter 20 of Loving God With All Your Mind, by Elizabeth George. I have decided to use it as my bible study, reading one chapter a day, for the time being. There are a couple of reasons for this. First, I just finished Breaking Free (enough said), and second, I actually wanted to not only finish this book but take the time to let is do it's thing (His thing) in me.

Which brings us to Friday. It had been a tough week, few weeks actually, for me. I have had more than one quiet time with me just spewing whatever was inside to the Lord and sometimes at the Lord. Friday was one of those times. Before I read my Bible, before I read the book, before any of it, I spent time spewing. I am one of those kind who needs to talk it out. I figure He knows it anyway, so I might as well talk it out with Him. No sense trying to hide stuff from the One Who created you. At the end of all that spewing, I asked the Lord to give me a truth to hold onto for the day. The section of the book I am in now is focusing on Romans 8:28,

And we know all things

work together for good

to those who love God,

to those who are the called

according to His purpose.

I can say without any hesitation I struggle with that. I do. Sometimes it is hard for me to remember that. But as with the "true and real" stuff Mrs. George had been sharing, I was determined to grab hold of that piece of truth and make it my own.

I finished up my quiet time and headed outside with MC 2. That is when I noticed the tread coming off, separating off, my back tire. I called HH, and he confirmed that I couldn't drive it safely. The news created a problem because MC 1 was at his last day of school and had to be picked up in a couple of hours. So I called the local family, and as the Lord would have it, they were unable to get free to get him. The only option left was the bus, which actually goes right past our house. Yeah, right? Let me let you peek inside this mama's head -

On the LAST day of school this mama has to put her firstborn, whom she has chaperoned to and from school everyday for the past 185+ days, on some unknown bus with some unknown bus driver so he or she can bring my precious cargo home. My man child has no idea he needs to ride the bus, no idea which bus to ride, no idea of the bus route.....NOTHING.

HH calls back and through my tears we confirm the plan of action. I compose myself long enough to call the school, email his teacher and get things squared away. Then I cried. And cried. And cried some more. MC 2 even came in and asked. " Are you done crying yet?", and walked away while mocking me with a fake baby cry.

Through those tears I kept going back to Romans 8:28. Repeating it. Praying it over those next couple of hours. Meditating on it. Telling the Lord that I did not mean today, I did not really want to test it out today! Then refocusing in the truth I had requested in my quiet time, taming my wild imaginations to focus on what was true and real.

End of story, MC 1 makes it home safely. Thought it was awesome. Saw a fight. Got a Popsicle. The usual public school bus ride.

Lessons?

First, if you ask God to equip you with a truth, you better be prepared for the chance to apply it to show up soon.

Second,

And we know all things

work together for good

to those who love God,

to those who are the called

according to His purpose.

MANY HANDS MAKE FOR AN EVEN BIGGER MESS

I have been trying to finish the bathroom remodel we started over a year ago.

Which basically means fix my botched up paint job so HH can put the mirror back and we can resume some form of civility.

I mean a house with no finished bathroom is like a house with no kitchen floor.....

ahem....

moving on.

I knew painting with MC 2 would be a challenge.

No you may not stand by the open paint can.

No you may not stand on top of the toilet by the open paint can.

Please stop rolling the walls with the empty roller.

No you may not have a paint brush.

No you may not stand on the bathtub.

Where did you go?

What are you doing?

Come here so I can see you!

But I need to finish strong, so today we will hit it again.

Figuratively I hope.

I DO

It has been a long week with the men children. MC 2 has broken two windows, turned the last gallon of milk I have into a gallon of chocolate milk, disobeyed too many times to count, doused the bathroom in baby powder, and gotten very clingy at night when mama wants people to leave her alone. MC 1 has been ate up with attitude and sass, cried alligator tears at bed time, and somehow thinks he has become in control of the remote. Let us not even mention trying to get up in the mornings - for any of us. It has been a long week, and I have not momma'd all that well. Bodes for a long summer. Condemnation wants to come sit a spell it seems. And it is not just the men children it wants to talk about. But as I hear or read about the stories of the families in this world suffering, with loss of children, with divorce, with destruction, with true poverty, I am pulled back into what is true and real. The truth is my men and I have a roof over our heads and food in the fridge. The reality is my men children have both parents at home trying to raise them together the very best we can. I have my men children with me today. I have HH with me today. Sadly there are some mama's and wives that can't say the same.
So though the week has been long, it has been blessed.
Though I told the Lord today I feel alone, I know I am not.
I can still choose right now to remember that.
I do.

BECAUSE...

it seems we are for Team Jacob

I was going to show you the

three pounds of peeled garlic

HH bought at the store the other night.

Even though I clearly said,

"I only NEED taco seasoning",

and he said,

"that and snuff is all I am going to get".

Response to my facial reaction,

"What? I like garlic."

Why yes, Buffy, it seems you do.

However, I can not show you said pic

because I discovered this morning

that someone has deleted

all the pictures from my camera.

No prizes for figuring out who.

Some of the photos were on my lap top,

but not all.

And it may not have been HIM.

But given his track record the last couple of days,

he is suspect numero uno.

Hello Wednesday.

Did you change your name to Monday?

Good grief!