SWITCHING GEARS

Friday was a big day for me. I officially resigned my from my teaching position on Friday. Of course it does not take effect until June, but the paperwork is in. I have spent the past decade of my life in the same room with no windows, teaching the same basic class, going to the same pep rallies, using the same teacher's restroom, and so on. Now I shift to being a stay at home mom. Been a long time coming, but came in God's time. I have made some wonderful friends, lifelong - go to anytime friends. I have had some doozy of kiddos and fought some battles with the higher ups (okay quite a few battles - that first year was tough). I am sure my emotions will go all over the place as the day approaches, but right now I am relieved that it is done. I prayed for release for a good while, threatened to quit a time or two, but waited on the Lord. I wish I could say I patiently waited but that would be a lie. I am so excited about being a stay at home mom. Yes I am sure people will make plans for me since "all I do is stay at home". Heck my own father already has me in a tractor in the hayfield (hello - I don't live with you anymore:))But I am good at saying no, ask my students. I can now focus on my kids. There are those moms who work & raise their kids & they do an awesome job. I don't think I was one of them. I survived and they survived. I know there will be challenges at home as well & I am sure my parenting skills are not going to improve overnight (or over a year). But at least I won't be worn out from parenting other people's kids.
okay enough of that.
Bottom line - I quit my JOB!! Woo Hoo!!!!!!!! Oh happy day! Happy day!

SILENT TREATMENT

I chose to teach high school kids for a couple of reasons. One of them was they are supposed to be old enough to know how to act & not be as "needy" as the smaller ones. I was wrong. This is a conversation I had yesterday. Some names have been changed to protect - well- me.

Joe to Jack - soft whisperings
Jack to me - Joe would like me to tell you he is not speaking to you today.
me - Oh,okay (on with the lesson). minute pause
Joe to Jack - more soft whisperings
Jack to me - Would you like to know why?
me - Uhm okay - sure (why is some 17 year old boy REFUSING to talk to me today? Please I am dying to know)
Joe to Jack - again - soft whispers
Jack - He is not speaking to you because he will be serving a two hour detention today for something that happened last week in your room.
me - Oh - okay. Does he think this will continue on tomorrow?
whispering
Jack - He doesn't know yet
me - Okay then.

Within 10 minutes kid was talking to me again. Gotta love high school. Apparently kids are needy at every age. We will see if I get the silent treatment again today:)

UFC

If you know what those initials stand for, welcome to my world. Next to watching hunting shows from every crook & cranny of the globe, HH loves him some Ultimate Fighting Championship. If you recognize the names Rampage Jackson, Chuck Liddell, Forrest Griffin, BJ Penn, & George Rush St. Pierre, you know what I am talking about. If you have seen Ultimate Fighter season whatever or Inside the MMA, you get the picture. The UFC has come along way. It is no longer the "bar room brawl-last man standing" blood bath is used to be. There are rules & points & strategies & rounds. Heck they even have judges. Even wholesome act Mandy Moore shows up at these things. Don't get me wrong - there is still blood, and at times lots of it. Broken bones & knockouts, submissions & tap outs. And potty mouths- at times lots of potty mouths. If nothing else, UFC has provided voice over work for Mike Rowe from "Dirty Jobs" and has given Joe Rogan a gig after "Fear Factor".
Yesterday as I was helping MC 1 gear up to ride his bike, he starts throwing punches like Joe Frazier. Some of which came dangerously close to my face. I don't think his skills are up to par where he could pull a punch fast enough not to hit me so I was bobbing & weaving as well.
The reason behind this massive cardio workout-
"I am working on my punches in case I decide to go into the UFC."
Great. Every mom's dream. He is not even in double digits for his age & already has plans for this? Super!
He does have a good stand up game though, and that is important (I think).

EARLY TO RISE

Its 3:30 in the morning. Yes - read it again -3:30 in the morning and the Lord has seen fit to wake me up, AGAIN. This has been going on for about a week now. A friend of mine prayed last week that God would awaken me in the middle of the night and He has honored her request, at least the first part, several times this past week. Which makes going to work a bit of a struggle.
So off I am to spend some quality time with my Jesus.
Probably should have prayed that I would stay awake.
Wonder if I could get her to pray for me to have a super fit body and no more PMS?
Seriously, thank the Lord for friends who pray for me & a God who honors their requests. So thank you Judy. I am excited to see what the Lord has for me.
Ya'll have a great day.

PROOF

THIS IS WHY HE IS CALLED HUNTER HUBS. AND THIS IS ONLY HALF OF MY LIVING ROOM!
Ya'll have a great weekend!
You get me now don't you. You understand. Men children.

Just remembered - in previously mentioned house fire- after the fire men arrived & where able to get in the house, the lone deer mount we had at the time was the FIRST thing out of the house.

SAYING GOOD-BYE

Today was a tough day for me. A tough choice had to be made. I had to end a relationship that I have had for many years. It was not going well. She was the kind of person who always told me what I wanted to hear. She would come over whenever I asked. Unfortunately in our relationship, my problems kept growing & hers (well I don't even know what hers were). It was time.


Today I switched from Denise Austin to The Biggest Loser Workout videos.


I know- shocking.
Especially since I commented how good she made me feel. Unfortunately that was counter productive. It was doing me no good. No challenge - no motivation to grow. So now I have Bob & Jillian & some blonde girl (can't think of her name right now- sorry blonde girl). I feel they will be a better fit for me. From what I can tell - Bob is encouraging - Jillian will be a backside kicker, and I don't know about the blonde. I could be wrong but it looks good so far.

Got me to thinking about my other relationships, especially at church. How many of us want those friends that tell us how great we are all the time? Yes, we need to hear it, but we also need to be challenged in our walk with the Lord - both from the pulpit & from the pew. How sad would my walk be if I never was challenged in what I believed, in how I lived. I don't mean confronting everyone & being as the kids say "messy" ( nosey & in everyone's business). But I need those men & women who will gently challenge me, pose questions to me, and I need to be that for them. One it makes me dig deep into the Word to find the answers, a spiritual workout of sorts. A little cardio for my heart. Second, it makes me stronger in the Lord. My spiritual muscles aren't going to get any stronger if I don't put some weight on them. Left up to me, I would use the lightest weights I could. My friends are the ones who pack on the heavier weights. So I thank God for the men & women in my life that push me to be more than I am. That make me dig deep into my relationship with the Lord. They are my personal trainers of sorts.

And in the end, the enemy will be the Biggest Loser!

PLENTY

If you get the chance to jump on the Siesta Fiesta blog, please do so & read Holly's post from yesterday. There you will find a moving story of the hands & feet of Jesus at work. She refers to what they have been going through as a desert of plenty. It brought to mind my own desert of plenty story to share.
A few years ago we had a house fire. It is strictly by the grace of God any of us survived. It was in the middle of the night, we only had 1 smoke alarm in the house, and the door to HH & my bedroom was closed. The men children's room was right next to the room with the fire. We could actually here the fire rolling in the ceiling above their room. Chills even now. I was awakened in the wee hours of the morning by a nagging beeping sound that I actually IGNORED the first couple of times I heard it. When I did finally get up to see what it was, I opened the door to a house filling up with smoke. I can not be any clearer - Jesus Christ SAVED our lives - all of us! No doubt - no arguments- end of story.
After we were all out safely & had called 911, we began to make the calls - to family & friends requesting prayer, letting them know what was going on. (Remind me someday to tell you what happened to make HH really upset with me that morning- funny funny). Anyway, some friends of ours from church (a former student of mine to be exact) had just bought a new house (they had only been it like 3 weeks) that had an extra bedroom. They offered it to us starting that night. We lived with them for 4 months and I can honestly say it was a blast. Now remember, we moved in a family of 4 into one bedroom-everything in ONE bedroom. One bathroom for our family - one bathroom for the two of them. 4 MONTHS! I don't recall a crossword, a fight, a "man they are getting on my nerves, etc". Honestly we were all sad when our house was fixed and ready for us to move back.
We drove by our friends house yesterday just killing time and man child one says
MC 1 - " I wish we could have another fire"
me - "why"
MC 1 - " so we could live with ___________& ________ again. Do you think during the summer we could come sleep over?"

Now my friends, that was living in the desert of plenty. That was only one of many ways the Lord blessed us during that time. Here's the point- He used people to do it. Our friends were the hands & feet of Christ to us. And we in turn get to be His hands & feet to someone else.
So today if you get the opportunity to be that for someone else - do it. You may well become a watering hole for them in their desert of plenty.

VAIN IMAGINATIONS

Anybody else? Or just me. I tell you my mind can go sometimes. My "friend" who went to the OB/GYN had her set of imaginations today. Doctor called and asked her to call him back. She immediately went to something is seriously wrong. All manner of diseases. Totally freaked. I mean TOTALLY. She had not even called him back and she went all over the place. Needless to say it was still run of the mill girly stuff. But how distracted was she for a while. When I was diagnosed with high blood pressure, I went to heart transplant in a hurry and then when they mentioned something about how my meds work on my kidneys- girls I had myself on dialysis before I even got out of the doctor's office.

Beth Moore talked about a "spewing mind" being a sign of distrust. OUCH- that hurts. The thought that I would distrust Jesus scares me. It saddens me. Breaks my heart. Yet if I am honest with myself, that is exactly what it is. This is why the word of God is so IMPORTANT. To be honest, at times, it is hard work for me to believe God. My flesh screams out all sorts of insecurities & mess ups. To believe that He loves me unconditionally does not go with my natural man. Praise God for my spirit man. Because when I get in the Word, my spirit man gets a little bolder. Sometimes even a lot bolder. It looks through the pages at David, Rahab, Esther, Paul & Peter. My inner princess warrior gets armored up and ready to fight another day- knowing the host of heaven is ready to go at her Father's orders. Be encouraged today in the Word of God. Encourage yourself in the Word, don't wait on someone else to do it. You dig deep into text and plant yourself firmly on what He has done, is doing & will continue to do.

Isaiah 26:3
" You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You."

Our choice.

** even though my emotions may not evoke it, the Word proclaims it - You are good! You are God!

POP

Quick note for today. HH is a great BBQ man. Loves to do it & is good at it. The other night we had some friends over & we chowing down on some ribs. Man child 2 was tearing them up. Country style or regular style, he did not care. I jokingly told him if he did not stop he was going to pop. All was okay until our friend also told him he was going to pop if he did not stop. Well that brought on the tears and 1 1/2 hours of "mommy- I don't want to pop". Kid spent the rest of the night laid up by me on the couch holding his tummy lamenting the possibility of "popping". And we think what we say does not matter.

TEACHERS & KIDS

Just ran into a former student at the store. Not just any former student, hands down my all time favorite. I love this kid like he is my own. The kid has turned into one of the neatest young men,and I have gotten to witness the transformation. For that I am grateful. Teaching has many challenges. I get tired of the politics, both inside the school system and out. I get tired of having to play the role of mama for kids whose moms are 1) either working so much just to provide for the kids or 2) just want to be their kids best friend. I get tired of caring more about their grades than they do. Frankly, I just get tired. BUT when you get those opportunities to really see the impact. You get that ONE kid you really connect with - the one who you can really speak Christ into his or her life.And your heart is forever theirs. You want for them like you want for your own. You pray for them & their parents. You encourage them that they are more than what they think they can be. You remember WHY you love to teach & became a teacher. Its not to fill out paperwork, or go to meetings, or to get summers "off". You did it because you want kids to be more than they think they can. You want them to know that the God of Heaven loves them and wants them to go out into the world for Him. I am grateful for those moments. You can have those moments, too. I guarantee there are kids in your church, your neighborhood, your community who need someone, anyone to believe in them. Someone who will speak to them Jeremiah 33:3. If you get the chance to invest in one - DO IT. Will they disappoint - maybe- but who of us doesn't? But I wouldn't trade my handwritten notes of appreciation & love from these kids for anything. I cherish them - from year one till now. So to my favorite kiddo I say thank you. As I told you in the store - I love & pray for you like you were my own. Thanks for letting me into your life- even if just for a season. I am proud of you.

To you all - Happy Valentine's Day. You are loved.

MOTIVATION

Now I have told you about my conspirators. Today was day 2 of defeating them (him). So the conspirators decided a new attack. As I was exercising away with Denise Austin circa 1995 ( cause that's all I can DVR & honestly she does make me feel better about myself), man child 2 awoke and found a tape measure. Next thing I knew while I was doing bicep curls he was measuring my backside FROM SIDE TO SIDE with the tape measure. Yeah - real encouraging. Guess I should have written the number down for motivation!

I walked through a door today I believe God has opened. Very scary, but very exciting. More details when all is official. (Probably won't seem a big deal to anyone else but HUGE for me).

Happy Friday!

GROUNDED

Man child 1 has become alarmingly adept at faking my signature (in cursive no doubt), which is a tad scary at his age & does not bode well for things to come. Anyway, today, after I saw his craftsmanship again, I informed him that I would talk with HH (that's Hunter hubs new name) and he would probably be grounded for tonight. Conversation went like this (or close enough)
From the back seat

Man child 1 - what does grounded mean?
me - Means we don't let you do something you like to do.
MC1 - (very quietly) I don't like playing outside.
me - you don't?
MC1 - No & I don't like watching tv either. It is boring.
me- so it would do no good to ground you from that because you don't like to do it anyway?
MC1 - yea. Do I get to eat?

We learn early don't we.

CONSPIRACY THEORY

I totally beat out the conspirators this morning. Praise the Lord & thank you Jesus! Have a great day! Remember our God loves you.

CONSPIRED AGAINST

I think I am being conspired against. Seriously - some kinda conspiracy theory is developing in my head. Which will give me one more thing to worry about. Oh wait, I am not doing that anymore. Should I be worried that I started again? Naa. But someone is out to get me. 2 things I am trying to work on - regular exercise & more consistent quiet times. So of course it has not worked out well. Seems every night something has happened that requires me to stay up late and that makes me oversleep in the am. I MEAN IT - EVERY NIGHT! Stuff that normally should not happen. And I NEVER oversleep (at least not often). It is really driving me crazy. I like to be organized (notice I said like). I like to have a schedule, a routine, and this is throwing it way off. If I can't have a routine I get very frustrated and want to quit. Type A at its best! So,of course, God won't let me be like that. I am not in control, as much as I would like to be (or at least think I would, because deep down I probably don't want all the responsibility of being in charge). So tonight I will choose to go the bed earlier & I will choose to set my alarm & I will choose to try it again.

Side note - had a "friend" go to the OB/GYN. I'll spare you the details but I did learn two things you aren't thrilled to hear your doc say during the actual uhm VISIT -" ..Now that's interesting?" and "WOW- you do have a rash!"

UPDATE- For all you concerned, please know the "rash" was nothing viral or contagious- just your run of the mill girly stuff. The "friend" would want you to know.

"Be sober, be vigilent;because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith , knowing that the same sufferrings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world. But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen and settle you. TO HIM BE THE GLORY AND DOMINION FOREVER AND EVER AMEN."
1 Peter 5: 8-10

DREAMS

First- I just watched the LPM El Paso video and let me say I cried through the whole thing. That Travis boy can flat out sing! To see all those women just loving on Jesus and crying out to Him thrills me to no end.
Last summer my friend B suggested I read a book called The Dream Giver by Bruce Wilkinson. He is the same man that wrote the little book called The Prayer of Jabez. So I finally did last fall & it was well worth it. The short version is that the book is parable of a man living his plain life until the Dream Giver comes and gives him his dream. It then goes on to talk about all the challenges he faces trying to get to his dream (kinda a Pilgrim's Progress theme). The second half of the book is then dedicated to helping point readers to their big dream.
The second book B recommended was Wide Awake by Erwin McManus. Now I have not read this yet, but I did catch him of Life Today with James Robison (of who I am a big fan - even before Wednesday with Beth). One of the statements Mr. McManus made was that we get caught living the life we think we are supposed to live. Many of us shoot down our own dreams because we think we are not supposed to dream like that; we are grown ups now. Now don't get me or him wrong, we all have responsibilities to provide for those we are to care for. But those responsibilities do not have to trump the dream God has placed in your heart. God has given you something, some gift that is just for you. Some dream that is yours alone & is for this time. I don't think God intended life to be 1) get up 2) go to "work" ( whether away from home or not) 3) come home 4) eat supper 5) go to bed 6) repeat the next day. In John 10:10 Christ tells us He came so we may have not just life but life more abundantly!
Last winter I believe I got my "big dream". It was during a Sunday service to which I was not to excited about going to , with a guest speaker I was not so interested in hearing. But I went (afraid I would miss something). And I would have missed a lot had I stayed home. For weeks before I had been crying out to God- show me something. What we are doing right now is not working. Show me what You made me for, because I don't think this(job) is it. On that Sunday morning I believe He did. Now the dream has not come to fruition yet. The process along the way is way to important for God to by pass. And there have been times this year when I have "forgotten" what my big dream is. But even in those times, its burning embers are still stirring around in the very depth of my heart.
Yesterday I talked about how I still get to choose. Today I choose to remember what the Lord has placed in my heart. I choose to remember that He has plans for me that I would not even believe if He told me. I pray you do the same.
Side note - man child 2 made his first official trip to the ER. All was well praise the Lord and honestly we probably went more for my piece of mind than his. I'm telling you never dull with men children. NEVER!

I STILL GET TO CHOOSE

Having one of those days where I am lamenting the poor choices I have made recently. Not about spouse or kids, let me say that up front. Poor choices about me. Poor choices in my relationship with Christ Jesus. You know - one of those days when you ask yourself how did I let it get to this? A friend of mine sent a comment that said " rebellion is the root of all passivity". I gotta say that I think that is where I am today- seeing my rebellion. I know what I am supposed to be doing and yet I have chosen to do nothing. That is rebellion. And I think my rebellion is coming from fear. Fear that if I am not in control it won't work out right. Now I know better, I know better, but as Paul says sometimes I do what I don't want to do. I know that what Christ has for me is far beyond anything I could even think of, yet my flesh really wants to control stuff. Even last night a situation arose that well I could flat worry myself in to a darn good tizzy about. But even when I was trying to worry- kept feeling in my Spirit - what are you going to add to it by worrying about it. So as much as my flesh wants to get all worked up and have a major meltdown about it, I am going to choose to rest in the assurance that my God is still in control. Scared to death - yep. Tears even now if I would let them fall, and a good cry may be required before the day is over. But the choices I make can be different today. Today I will choose to repent for my rebellion and passivity. Today I will choose to rest in the assurances my Father has promised me in His Word. Because as much as the enemy would like to convince me that all is lost, I still get to choose.

Fashionistos

I was pleased when HH and I were blessed with boys because - well- I am not a very girly girl. I thought great - no hair bows- no coordinating outfits - none of that pressure. HOW WRONG WAS I. Because although I am not very fashion forward (or conscious for that matter) HH IS. The man is hunter by design & that includes hunting for the latest clothing sale and fashion trends. He recently turned his "look" 180 degrees. He has been a boots & jeans guy since day one. Recently he discovered Kohl's and came along to the retro guy side ( I am so out of the loop I don't even know what you call the newest style for guys). Anyway, he has pulled it off well if I do say so myself. Now even though I know this about HH, I didn't really feel too concerned about the men children. AGAIN, HOW WRONG WAS I. Man child 1 decided a couple of years ago that he had his own style and would decide for himself what to wear. Normally he pulls it off well. He usually matches his colors and dresses appropriately for the occasion. And well, I really don't care. He leans toward the skater/hip hop dancer theme which I am fine with. However, yesterday he decided he wanted to be a "cowboy". Now he does have some boots, but the kid has not worn Wranglers in at least 2 years. so his announcement that he needed some of "those jeans with the thing on the back -like cowboys wear" for church on Sunday does create a problem. Now rest assured I am not rushing out to get him some. He can wear what he has. However, if this is a sign of fashion times to come, I am in trouble. The boys already have to get dad to help fix their hair if they want it "styled". The drama of what we are going to wear each day is not supposed to be mine. I have boys. They are supposed to put on what ever & go. I am not ready for the "fashionistos" (and yep totally made that up, I think. It might be a real word, I am sure someone will let me know if it is) growing up in my house. And another thing, can someone please tell me why Saturday is the "rise & shine" early day of the week? Sleeping in seems like an unattainable dream! Oh well, you guys have a great Saturday!


Update- I just had to fight a huge temptation - the Snuggie. As seen on the LPM blog & Big Mama's blog, they are diverse. And even though I adore Beth Moore, I just had to pass, free reading light & all.

Men Children

Can I just say it is never dull in a house full of man children (some full grown). I SO understand why my grandmother constantly yelled "Boys - get outside!"

We attended one of those strong man shows at a local church recently. Hunter Hubs & I knew Man child 1 would love it, however, we never really considered that he would actually think he was CAPABLE of replicating the feats of strength (Hey - its our first kid - we are learning). So we should not have been surprised when we returned home and man child 1 tried to smash an empty coke can on his head. Nor should we have been surprised when he reentered the room tearing the can with his teeth. FYI Man child 2 NOT at all impressed.

Now if you are not a fan of hunting you will have to skip this part. Hunter Hubs is called that for a reason - the man eats & breathes hunting. I never knew there were so many hunting shows on. Having said that, we have been having issues with some varmints at our house. So being the hunter that he is, hunter hubs is going to rid us of the problem. He has a blanket "blind" so they can't see him sneaking up. Now we support fair chase and as it stands the score is like varmints 12 hunter hubs 2. I think the screen in my door has suffered the greatest loss- it is bullet hole city. Okay so last night we get ready for bed and I notice a 2 x 4 by the door. Conversation went something like this-

me- whatcha going to do with the board? tired of shooting at them?
HH- yeah thought I might sneak out and hit one.
me- why?
HH - just to see if I could. But then I remembered that those varmints are rather aggressive so I decided not to.

Good call my friend, good call. Never a dull moment- NEVER!

HEROES

No not the TV show. Hunter hubs tried to get started watching it one season. Unfortunately we were too far behind to get who was who & what was what. Too much for us. It is hard enough trying to keep up with Lost. No, we had a speaker today at church and he talked about the gift of faith (1 Corinthians 12:9). His point was that we don't ask for it. We like the gifts of prophecy or healing, but how often do we ask for faith? He went on to illustrate David and Goliath and how David's one act of faith caused God to move on his behalf and changed the world forever. His statement that really stuck with me was that the world is looking for heroes. Why that struck me odd I don't know. I mean we see it everyday in the way we treat sports stars, musicians,actors, politicians, even pastors. We want that someone who will ride in and save the day. I think we confuse hero with savior. We already have the One who will save the day - Jesus Christ. What we don't have are a lot of people who act like He has done it. (please know I include myself- first and foremost). If you look at the heroes of the bible - Joshua, David, Paul, Rahab (cuz that girl rocked) they all had the same thing in common - they believed God- not in Him only - they believed what He said about Himself and about them. That is the gift of faith. To believe in spite of what I see, hear or feel. To know who my God has called me to be and to act in that manner - regardless. I looked up hero in my dictionary and you know it said nothing about "saving the day". However it did say hero was know for their "bold exploits". So let me ask you this- when was the last time you had a "bold exploit" for Jesus Christ? Where you laid it all out there on the line and if He didn't show up it was going to go downhill quick. Please don't think I am talking about leaping over tall buildings in a single bound. Maybe your bold exploit is to lay your marriage or your family at the feet of God and REALLY leave it there this time. Perhaps it is to talk to the checkout girl you see EVERYDAY about her relationship with Christ. Maybe it is to take whatever is going on at work, at school, at church and TOTALLY give it over to God and NOT take it back. See it's the cowardly part of us, the scared part, that keeps taking it back. Harsh words - yep - am I first among cowards - some days you better believe it. Fear that it is not going to work out like I think it should or how I envisioned it has caused me to snatch back a lot of stuff that should have been left alone. In comes gift of faith. To say " Jesus this situation is Yours. All I bring to the table is a mustard seed of faith. Grow it up and make it strong." Got some stuff going on in my own life where I need to choose which way I am going to go. I need the gift of faith to take my hands off and let it go. I need to act like the child of God He says I am. Gonna guess you do to. So in the words of a dear friend, " You pray for me; I pray for you". Have a blessed Monday. Go out there and act like the HERO God has called you to be.



PS - Rebecca - that is 2 posts now & you've not commented on either. You are dropping the ball:)