2013- The Year Of.....

You talk too much.

Disheartening words to hear from the Lord.
Yet, hear them I did.
While asking what He wanted for the next year from me, I felt Him say it in my spirit.
You talk a lot. You talk too much. You need to stop talking and start doing. What is between Me & you needs to be acted upon and not just talked about.
As the bumper sticker I have posted in my room says, Less talk....More Walk, in so many areas.
Clearly, in my spiritual life, but that all spills over into practical areas as well.
Less talk, more walk - in being a deliberate parent.
Less talk, more walk- in taking care of the house.
Less talk, more walk - in being a better steward of a whole bunch of things.
Less talk, more walk - in my meal planning.

You get the idea.

Fear not- Less talk doesn't mean less blogging, as if there could be judging by these last few months.
Hopefully, it means more. Less talking about wanting to write and more actual writing.

So, I have officially declared my 2013 as the year of shhhhhhhh.
It's what I choose.
At least until He tells me otherwise.

James 1:22-25 (NKJV) 
But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.  For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror; for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was. But he who looks into the perfect law of liberty and continues in it, and is not a forgetful hearer but a doer of the work, this one will be blessed in what he does.

WHEN THE OUTCOME IS ALWAYS THE SAME...

My professors in college said a lot of things. Most of it I don't remember. However, I had a poli-sci professor whose words have stuck with me since the day he said them.

People say they want equality of opportunity, but what they really want is equality of outcome.

I got that one. Over the years, I have found myself living that one. On both sides of the comma.
Where do I see it the most?
In my Christian walk.
Yep...right where it's not supposed to be.

I say I just want the same opportunity that perfect, single-digit clothes wearing, fit as a fiddle, marriage straight from Hallmark channel, mama has.
I say I just need the same chance that writer or speaker got.
I say if I could just catch break, I could get it together.

I profess I want equality of opportunity.

What I really want is equality of outcome.

I want my kids to be the most polite, well-mannered, educated kids in the group, just like hers.
I want my writing to be valued by others, just like hers.
I want to have it as together as her or her or her and even as him.

Why can't I have the favor I see on their life?
Why do they seem to catch all the breaks?
Why do things always go well for them, even when they mess it up big time?

Please tell me I'm not the only one whose thoughts go there......
 
You and I have the same opportunities every day.
The opportunity to submit to His will.
The opportunity to share His love.
The opportunity to present the Gospel of Jesus Christ to everyone we come in contact with, even if it's not down the Roman Road. (Nothing wrong with the road...just saying it may not be so pat).
The opportunity to, regardless of my circumstances, proclaim the life and liberty found in Christ Jesus.

Equality of opportunity....

The only outcome God desires is that He be glorified.
In all if it.
By all of me.

Equality of outcome.....

So to myself, and I guess to you if you need it, I say -
Get over it.
The opportunities are the same, and when I choose to take them, there will only be one outcome.
God being glorified; Christ being exalted; people being set free.

When I choose.....

LIKE SO MANY....

...teachers across the nation,
                             - I spent the weekend wondering how I would have reacted.
                             - I walked into my classroom this morning thinking of ways to protect those
                               babies.
                            - I used terms like exit & entry points in reference to my classroom and lab.
                            - I thought about how I could use physics equipment to defend my kids.
                            - I planned with my co-workers how and where would be the safest place and
                               best chance of survival.

....parents across the nation,
                           - I put my kids on the bus, fully aware of those of mamas who couldn't.
                           - I thought of their school, and wondered how those teachers were planning.
                           - I prayed for their safety and was grateful to see them return.

...Christians across the nation,
                           - I have no answer.
                           - I can offer no hope except in Jesus.
                           - I can tell you God knows.
                           - I can pray and go before the Throne of Grace on your behalf.
                           - I can lift you up when you have neither the desire nor the strength to do it yourself.
                           - I can cry with you, I can yell with you, and I can love on you.

Like so many, I will.

PAINFULLY RIGHT

I am reading this.

And it is a difficult read.
I have read other Elizabeth George books.

 

(That last one about did me in. Read it as a very independent, not-so-tender-hearted young, new wife, and it was not an easy pill to swallow. You can ask the ladies in my group.)

These books work me over. Not because Mrs. George is harsh. Quit the opposite. She is the sweetest writer. Constantly encouraging. Constantly pointing to what we can do through Christ.

What kills me is what she challenges me to do. How she challenges me to love and serve my husband and my family. How she challenges me in my relationship with Christ Jesus and how I love and serve Him.

It goes against my very flesh.
Which means she is most likely right.
Likely nothing, she is.
I read a bit, get riled up, walk away, and then come back.
Mrs. George does a great job of showing you practically how to live out the topic. I can tell you from experience she is on the right track, How can I be sure? As soon as I try to put those recommendations into action, the enemy kicks in to high gear.
He doesn't do that unless he is about to lose some ground.

Have you read any of Mrs. George's books? Did you find them challenging?

If you are looking for practical living materials, I can and will recommend these books. Chapters are easy to read and the hands on applications are spot on.
You will be blessed.
You will be challenged.
You will probably be mad and have your feathers ruffled.
I promise, if you let the Spirit do His work, you will be changed.
You choose.

HOPE....

I am typing this from my laptop.....oh there is hope!

SATURDAY

I am sitting in the middle of my parent's back hay pasture. Down below us, mom and dad are bailing round & square bales. HH and the boys are sighting in rifles for youth weekend coming up. I just watched the Aggies play and graded a few benchmarks.
The sun is shining, the wind is blowing, tractors are humming in the background, and HH is happy as a lark.
So these words are few.............................

CHUNKING ROCKS AND RUNNING AWAY

I can proudly report that the track around the hay pasture is still in use. I have come along way since just barely walking it this summer. I am up to running six laps now. Which is great, however, in the midst of just trying to remember to breathe, I sometimes forget to keep count of my laps. So today I came up with a plan. I picked up six rocks and laid them on the bumper of HH's truck. As I finished a lap I would pick up a rock and chunk it. I made my first lap, picked up my rock, and was immediately reminded of the verse, "here I raise my Ebenezer..." and the scripture that goes with it. Read 1 Samuel for the full version. What came to my mind was verse 12 of chapter 7.
Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen, and called its name Ebenezer, saying, "Thus far the Lord has helped us."
With rock in hand, I thought of something the Lord had brought me through and then I chunked that rock. I ran another lap, picked up another rock, recalled another of the Lord's faithful actions toward me, and chunked that one.
Round and round I went, taking each lap to think of what my rock chunking would be for. Before I knew it my six laps were up. You know what I found? Not only was my body strengthened, but so was my soul. Faithfulness remembered will do that for you.
I am betting you have some Ebenezers as well. Maybe you don't lay out six rocks on the back of your husband's truck. Maybe you lay out 6 rocks by the diaper changing table. Maybe out by the laundry detergent and the washing machine. Maybe your rocks are stacked up by the water cooler at work. Or in your desk. Or wherever.
Point is you can put them some where. How cool would it be to pause in that moment and remember the faithfulness of God. Some days, some of us might be running to our rocks if you know what I mean.
I am going to tell you something and I don't want you to freak out. In my head, when I was chunking my rocks, after I named out loud what I was remembering, I pretended to be chunking them at the gates of hell. Sort of a TAKE THAT!! moment. I did, I really did.
I encourage you to get some rocks. Stack them near a location you frequent. Girls, it could be in the bathroom. It doesn't matter. Each time you go by them, pick one up, and recall the Lord's faithfulness to you.
Then start chunking those rocks and keep on running!!!

I'M GOOD...

I'm good.
I wanted you to know that.
Not because the circumstances in my life are always perfect.
Not because I have done it right.
But because I am chosen.
In the midst of it all, I am hand-picked.
By hands that chose to be nailed to a cross.
The same hands that choose hold me.
So, I'm good.
Even when I'm not.
You can be too.
Just choose.
Jesus.

WHEN DOING LIFE TOGETHER IS A SOLO ACT

*Or at least feels like it, because as Christians, we know we are not alone.

Doing life together.
Oh how I struggle with those words. I wish I didn't but I do. When we were growing up, my family and I attended a small, country Methodist church, and there we did life together. The people we went to church with were a lot of the kids we went to school with. The grown-ups who sat in Sunday school class together had holiday parties together. The people we took food to and threw showers for when they had babies were the same people we took food to and cried with when they lost loved ones. We did birthdays together. We trick-or-treated their houses on our set route that included a midway coffee stop for mama at Mrs. Gail's.
Please don't email me about the evils of trick-or-treating. Well, you can, but my answer will be this. You know what we did for Halloween? We dressed up in non-demonic costumes and got candy. Know what my kids do at fall fests? Dress up in non-demonic costumes and get candy. 
Ok back on track. They were the same people we made goodie trays for at Christmas and walked to visit when it snowed. They were the houses we had Easter Sunrise service and breakfast at and then turned around and went back to church to be with them a few hours later.
Our families did a lot of life together.
We moved, and that went away. For me at least, and I think my parents for a time being. It would be 20+ years before I felt that again, after HH and I were married. The people we went to church with were the people we did life with. We had babies, we worked the nursery, we celebrated holidays. We cried when loved ones were lost, we mourned when relationships failed, we celebrated new life - both physical and spiritual.
Then we left, and that went away.
It hasn't come back.
I know it takes time, but I miss that. Therein lies the struggle. I miss that for me. I miss that for my boys. I miss that for HH.
The hard part is, there is no one to blame. It's not the old church's fault, and it's not the new church's fault. It is just where we are.
Well, where I am.
And can I tell you, there is a lot of choosing to be done in that place. In that place, church can be lonely. In that place, the enemy can speak lies and tell you it is not just a feeling. You are alone. You don't fit. You don't have a place. You feel insignificant.
And choices have to made.
My family can tell you I don't always choose well.
But then again, by His grace, some days I do.

ODD BALLS

As I was putting sheets on the bed tonight and recalling a conversation from the past week with my colleagues, I thought it might be fun to see if you guys are as odd as I am. So here is a list of 5 of my odd tendencies. In no particular order might I add.

1. The pillows must go in the pillow case tag end first.
2. I have to see with my eyes & touch with my hands that my iron is unplugged. Then I have to make a mental note that I have.
3. My clothes in my closet are arranged in the following order: dress shirts, dress jackets, dress pants, t-shirts, coats. HH's lack of organization slays me.
4. I can not stand it when people walk on the wrong side of the mall. Yes, there is a correct side. You walk the first time on the outside & come back around the inside.
5.Oh, I can't believe I almost forgot this one - I don't drink after people. Not even my own. Unless it is an emergency. And I don't want them drinking after me. I will give them my drink before I drink after them. I have refused my own children. One reason - backwash.

Okay- so now it is your turn. Make a sister feel better!

NOTHING SAYS FALL LIKE THE SMELL OF DIRT...

My laptop is still on the fritz & I've had neither the time nor the energy to deal with it. I hope to remedy the issue soon, but you're talking to a gal who has managed to forget about her husband's clothes at the dry cleaner for going on 2 weeks now. I have got to go get those today! Y'all remind me.
Well, fall is officially here. Which means I'll see a lot more of my parents than I do the rest of the year and my dryer will smell like dirt. MC 2 spent the last few weeks of the month asking if it was fall yet. Once the answer to that question was a yes, he switched to wanting to know when winter was coming and wishing for snow. Yesterday that led to a discussion about the episode of Little House on the Prairie when the big blizzard came, the snow was all the way up to Laura's window, & Pa had to walk to the barn. A tidbit I am sure is completely useless to you.
HH has a new game plan for hunting season. He has now decided that I shall purchase a license and join them in the woods. I will hunt with MC 1 & he will hunt with MC 2. However, because he "knows it has been a while" since I've hunted, he feels I need to join him in the woods during bow season. I pointed out the stand is only good for one person, and that I had no intentions of sitting on the ground where the wild hogs roam, but he assured me we would work something out. Personally, I think he has a crush on me & is just trying to secure some alone time. It's either that or he is thinking if we all have tags we can get even more deer. MC 1 is very excited about it. Well, he's very excited about shopping to equip me. Clearly, I need a great deal of camo & pink. The mere thought thrills him to no end, but we are talking about a child who thinks I need a new purse that is camouflage & has a big cross with rhinestones on it, so really, who is surprised.
I think I have reached my phone blogging limits. Plus, it's 4:20 on the am & I have already been up for thirty minutes. Sleep hates me.
So, I shall bid you adieu.
Have a great Friday everyone!

NEVER DONE

If you have kids, or work with kids, or pretty much have any interaction with the fellow sojourners on this earthly walk then you have probably said things you wished you hadn't. MC 2 is a patience testing child. In more ways than I could have ever imagined. Big stuff that leaves you speechless. Little stuff that wears you down. When we were home together and he had tested me to my max, I would send him to his room and say, "I am done with you."
Yep, I gasp when I read it as well.
Then, I try not to fall apart.
Now, it absolutely breaks my heart to know I said it to him.
Thankfully, the Holy Spirit convicted me and corrected me. He showed me a truth I was planting in my child. I was telling him there was a point where I gave up. Where I said he had gone to far and I was withdrawing myself. Now, while my actions were to come back, my words left the impression that a day will come when I wouldn't. 
Did I want that for him? To wonder if the parent who was to love him, protect him, and be there for him was going to someday say I am done.
The hard truth of the matter is a great deal of my heart's battle is revealed in that statement. While I know in my head Christ will never be done with me, there is a portion of my flesh that often wonders if I have gone too far. Have I done this or that one time too many? Have I pushed to the point where Jesus would send me away and tell me He was done with me? With those flesh and fear fed doubts comes an onslaught of twisted emotions and insecurities. Havoc is wrecked in my spiritual life and the damage is played out before me in my physical life. 
That is when I must choose.
To listen to the carnal voice saying He is done with you or sink my feet into the words of scripture that tell me He is faithful to finish what He started in me (Phil. 1:6).

I don't use that phrase with MC 2 these days. Oh, he still tries me and I will tell him I am done with a behavior or attitude. But done with him, never.
Because praise God, He is never done with me.

ONLY ONE

Now I plead with you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all speak the same thing, and  that  there be no divisions among you, but  that  you be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment. For it has been declared to me concerning you, my brethren, by those of Chloe’s  household,  that there are contentions among you. Now I say this, that each of you says, “I am of Paul,” or “I am of Apollos,” or “I am of Cephas,” or “I am of Christ.” Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Or were you baptized in the name of Paul? (1 Corinthians 1:10-13 NKJV)

So this is what I am reading now. Which is good because it's what I see now, too. In the mirror, in the local body & in the church. Some of us get pretty uppity about who we follow or read or sit under for teaching. Those who don't follow who we follow, well, clearly they are uninformed. In my own moment, I actually found myself troubled by one of those I follow befriending another in ministry on social media. 

Pitiful. Flesh driven. Absolutely out of order.

I had to stop, call myself to the carpet & submit to the Lord's dealing with me.

Why? Because my apprehension was about rib issues, and while those matter, the spine matters more. 

Jesus matters more.

The kingdom of God, the glory of God & the work of God matters more.

So let's choose to not be caught up in it all. 

Let's choose to let the backbone of Christ & His righteousness be what causes us to stand tall & not our own arrogance about which book, blog, tweet or Podcast we follow.

Only One died for our sins. 

By only One name are we saved. 

Only One will be the King of Kings & Lord of Lords.

Only One.

Jesus.

SHOTS TO THE RIBS

Spine & ribs. I have heard it. I have said it. I have read it. Issues in the church, both local and global, can be divided into these two categories. The are those issues that are essential to our Christian faith. They are spine issues. They are the backbone of what we believe. They are what everything else stems from. Broken spines leave people paralyzed. There is no moving forward. There is no walking. There is not even crawling. When the fundamentals of our faith, the hard core, non-negotiable items, are compromised, when we can not agree on these, we are immobilized as a person, as a people, and as a church.
But can I tell you something?
Broken ribs hurt.
Those issues that aren't our very foundation, but are important to us, well, damages to those hurt. We can still move and we can still walk, but not without pain. Broken ribs are tender. Broken ribs cause us to be guarded with our movements and protective with our hearts. Even breathing is painful some days. Much less trying to extend our hands, in worship or in assistance of another. Broken ribs cause us to draw in and guard our very exposed torsos.

Okay, maybe just me. Because that is how I have been feeling lately. As if I have been walking with broken ribs. The spine is fine, but my ribs feel like they have taken a beating. Disagreements and doubts are like punches pounding on my torso. Worship is painful. Standing tall is not without some struggle. I am guarded. I am tender. My actions are weighed against the pain they may cause me.
It hurts to cry.
It hurts to laugh.
Sometimes all I can do is stand bent over.

And I don't know how to fix it.
Or how long it will take.

I am not paralyzed.
I may be crawling spiritually, but I am not paralyzed.
I know that.
I am grateful for that.
I thank God for that.

My banged up ribs will heal.
With time, I won't be so guarded.
It's just going to take a bit to get there.

My Healer, He likes broken.
My Healer, He can use broken.
My Healer, He is faithful to touch the broken.
And He will make me whole again.

In the meantime, we will walk together.

Because neither He nor I,in Him, are paralyzed.

HOW HAS THE FIRST WEEK GONE? DEPENDS ON WHO YOU ASK.

MC 1 is loving the year so far. His biggest joy....he has a locker. With a number and all. He is simple giddy about it. Tonight he told me he sometimes pretends he needs something from his locker just so he can go to his locker.
Quote, "It's my FIRST locker mom!"
He really likes his homeroom teacher, He is having success with his math facts - the very thorns in our sides. Short of getting to play Little League football, his week has been perfect. He has lots of words to use when he gets home. He loves to tell all about his day.

MC 2. He told me on the second day he wasn't going back. When you ask him how was school, you get "eh". His biggest challenge is keeping out of the red. HH questions him daily as to what color he is on. The other night I overheard Mc2 explaining how yellow is really not that bad.
Academically...well, who knows.

Me. Well, I have a lot of little babies I wasn't planning on. About 110 physics kiddos and 38 chemistry ones. We are on 8 period days, so.....I see all there lovely faces for 47 minutes a day. Some longer than that during the blessed 55 minute period that allows for all the lunches. Many of the kids I had last year so that is nice. The newbies are good also. We have a new commander in chief on our campus, so we have all been adjusting to the new rules & regs. My co-workers are awesome. Not a one I don't like. I missed them over the summer.
Overall, I would say it has gone very smoothly.

So how has your first week or weeks been? Public, private or home, how has it gone?

MY BIGGEST BATTLE DURING THE SCHOOL YEAR...

Well, we are back at it. School has kicked into gear. While I will appreciate your prayers for our school year, I will covet them for our home. Here is a secret....one of, if not the, biggest battle I face during the school year is having patience with my own kids. At the house, Snappy McSnappy mama can rear her ugly head quickly. After spending 8+hours correcting other children, trying to educate them, trying to encourage them, trying to input some home training to the ones who need it, and trying to grow them as people, I don't have a high tolerance for doing the same thing at my house.
The good news is I know this. I know homework time at the house stresses me out. I know I don't always use kind words and tones with the MCs & HH after a rough day. I know I am short on time and grace and listening when we hit the door running at the house.
The bad news will be if I leave it that way this year.
I need to be the best here.
At home.
For them.
I must choose.
So I ask you, if you are the praying sort, to choose to pray for me in this area.
Feel free to hold me accountable.
Choose to.
On here.
On Facebook.
At Wal-Mart.
These babies at home are my primary investment.
I must choose them.

Have a great week!

WHILE WE WERE AWAY

CLOAK CHECK

Is there a time and place to be a Christian? The question that Sister #2 and I were talking about the other day.
I am hoping, if you have read for this for even the smallest amount of time, you will know that I say - no, there is not a time and a place, for I am always a Christian.
My Christian faith....
- goes with me into my work place, a public school. Dictating how I interact with my kids, their parents and my co-workers.
- takes me shopping. Guiding what I buy and don't buy, where I shop and don't shop, and how I deal with the people on both sides of the register.
- comes into my house. Determining how I am as a wife and a mom and a sister and a daughter and a Facebooker and a Tweeter and a Blogger.
- sits with me in my rocking chair. Compelling me to spend time with the very one I desire to be like.
- walks with me into the voting booth. Selecting based on what the Bible holds as truth and not by party lines.
- runs my track with me. Reminding me why I need to take care of this temple, who it is for, and granting me the self discipline to keep it up when my legs want to quit.
And the one that will trip most people up and cause them to call my a hypocrite-  my Christian faith is carried into all those places and grants forgiveness and grace when I completely blow it.

There is no place where we, as Christians, are to leave those values at the door.
None.
It either colors and guides everything we do or it doesn't.
Even in my flesh driven struggles and mistakes, my faith in Christ is paramount.
Faith that He loves me.
Faith that He forgives me.
Faith the He redeems me.
Faith the He justifies and sanctifies me.

Whole-hearted belief He desires to do the same for you.
Let us take off our church cloaks and carry Christ with us.
EVERYWHERE.
We choose.

WHAT IF THERE IS NO THEM IN THIS?

Over the summer, my sisters, mom and myself have been doing Kelly Minter's Nehemiah bible study as a part of Living Proof Ministries Siesta Summer Bible Study. While there have been many points that have stuck with me, one that she (Minter) has pointed out multiple times is the value of the people. 
The people built the wall.
The people helped one another.
The people protected one another.
The people made a covenant before the Lord.
The people... the people...the people.
The people matter.
I couldn't help but turn that lens to my own life and see if the people mattered.
If I still had them them in this I was doing for them?
In my work, is it still about the kids or is it about me looking like a master teacher?
At my house, are my efforts to clean and cook and do the laundry and mow the yard and do whatever else we moms and wives do, for their training and edification, or for me to look like a mom and wife who has it all together?
When I go to church and serve, is it for the people I am serving, or for me to look like an awesome Christian? 
More recently, even in my disagreements with others, both public and private, am I looking out for myself, trying to ensure every one knows I AM RIGHT, trying to be the better wordsmith, trying to have the last word, or is it about them? Is my heart tender and broken toward them? Am I asking the Lord how to love them?

You will have your own examples.
Bottom line....the this without the them doesn't matter.
It doesn't.
Now, my flesh wants to say it does.
My sinful nature loves the this and all the accolades it brings.
Pride lures me in and pushes me to do more of this.
Then, the accuser turns on me and beats me up for leaving them out.
The only way I know to keep them in this is to keep Him in this.
Him being Jesus.
Jesus Christ must be in the middle of the this I am doing.
My flesh must be submitted to Him in the this, regardless of what the this is.
That, my friends, is the only way to keep the them in the this.

LET US BURST FORTH

I blew my knee out playing basketball while at A&M.

I know, you are thinking I didn't know she played ball at A&M.   

Oh yes I did.

Church league.

On a rubber court.

Hence the knee.

Anyway, I walked around on it for a few weeks before we actually had it confirmed that my ACL was torn. You would have thought that having it buckle on me repeatedly as I pushed a buggy around a store would have clued me in but apparently not.

 The great thing about being in a university town is the fact that there are amazing doctors there as well. The doctor who fixed my knee was also the orthopedic doctor for the Aggie football team, and he fixed Bo Jackson's knees. This guy was no slouch.

Fast forward about 16 years, and 2 metal screws in my knee later, you find me trying to jog around my self- made track. A task my knee was not fond of. The first week it swelled up, got stiff behind the kneecap, and was painful to walk on.

As I was jogging, I tried to notice how I was running. What I found out was I wasn't. I was simply letting that leg hit the ground straight, jarring my knee and all the hardware in it. After realizing that, I tried to figure out why? I kinda already new. It was the same problem I have had ever since I had the surgery. I wasn't running like it was fixed. Now, granted, I have NEVER been a great runner, but at least I bent both knees. I wasn't anymore. I was running like I didn't trust the healing that had taken place. Running as if it was still sore from surgery and not completely restored.

So, I have been making a conscious effort when I "run/jog/pick my feet up at a faster gait the a turtle" to be aware of my knee and foot placement. To be sure I am letting it bend. To listen how my foot hits the ground. I am talking to myself throughout the lap- bend your knee, pick up your foot, push off - until I get all the way around. Sounds silly, and honestly, probably looks even worse, but it is working. My knee is not swelling.

I am not lame after the run.

 I feel it getting stronger.

The Lord brought to mind the other day how often we do that as people, how often I do it. We get hurt. Wounded by someone or something or whatever, and instead of believing the healing that has been offered us, we walk around lame. Even as believers, after we have brought it to the Lord, we walk around like we don't trust the work He has done. We aren't quite confident in His restoration of our injury.

Guys, my doctor was great, but we, as followers of Christ, have been healed by the Great Physician. If you are not a follower of Jesus, then you need to know the Great Physician is always taking new patients. He has room for you.

We need to walk this thing out like the healed people we are and can be.

Just like my knee, it may very well take us talking ourselves through it for a bit.

Former things have passed away. I am a new creation.

My sins have been forgiven and I stand before God blameless.

I am redeemed by Christ and nothing can snatch me from Him.

My identity and worth are in Christ Jesus and not in man's opinion of me.

So what if it does?

Talk yourself through it. Who cares if it looks pretty? Who cares if deliberately placing one foot in front of the other looks slow in this Christian race? It is your race to run.

My hope for my knee is that as it gets stronger, the running form will become second nature. It will become my natural response to the movement I put it through and the

pressure I place on my leg.

My prayer for us, for me ...we become stronger runners in this race. Our feet get steady on His solid ground. We listen to the Holy Spirit for our foot placement. Strides taken in our Christian walk get bigger. HE becomes our natural response to the pressures and movements of this worldly existence.

Peeps, we can trust Jesus. We can be healed. We have been healed. Let us act like the whole, healed, redeemed people of Christ we are.

Strengthen the weak hands,
And make firm the feeble knees.
Say to those who are fearful-hearted,
“Be strong, do not fear!
Behold, your God will come with vengeance,
With the recompense of God;
He will come and save you.”

Then the eyes of the blind shall be opened,
And the ears of the deaf shall be unstopped.
Then the lame shall leap like a deer,
And the tongue of the dumb sing.
For waters shall burst forth in the wilderness,
And streams in the desert.

Isaiah 35:3-6 (NKJV)

A SHARD...

The following is a compilation of recent conversations MC 1 & I had over the past weekend.

MC 1 : Mom...that was not me in there. I was telling MC 2 about God.

What do you mean?

MC 1: It was like an alien took over my mind.

What did you tell him?

MC 1 : I don't remember.

.........................................................................

What did you tell MC 2 about God? I want to make sure you said right stuff.

MC 1: I told him God had a plan for him and he could do anything he wanted to.

That is called witnessing. You just witnessed to your brother.

A shard of light in the sometimes dark days of parenting.

(For the record, we cleared up the it wasn't an alien point

 and had a discussion about the Holy Spirit

 and the boldness He can give us.)

RELIGIOUS LIBERTY

I know...I know...some of you just read the title and said ehhhhh.
Hang in there.
The link, LINK, is to a video on Life Today and it's running time is all of about 29 minutes. The actual meat of the video is only about 16 minutes.
The snippet of discussion that most caught my attention was the freedom of religion versus freedom of worship one.
Are we being duped into believing that allowing us to go into the house of worship of our choice (freedom of worship) is the same as allowing us to take those beliefs from that house and implement them into our every day lives (freedom of religion).
As he states, it is a subtle yet very dangerous change in terminology.
I must tell you, as I am reading the book about Dietrich Bonhoeffer by Metaxas, the similarities are NOT lost on me and are chilling.
No heads in the sand.
Eyes open.
Wisdom sought.

It is worth the watch.

FITNESS CRUSADE 2012

If you know me on Facebook, then you know about the track.

I thought you might want to see it.

Yeppers.....that's it.

Cut right in the middle of hayfield.

Why, Rhonda?

Why not just walk the neighborhood?

Reason #1

He has been lying in a mud puddle.

Add 2 more dogs to him,

 and 2 men children who are all over the road,

and you see why.

Here is another look at the track.

It had to be extra wide because

all the aforementioned dogs

and children like to walk right beside me.

Anyway, there it is.

Now you have a frame of reference.

HH made the comment yesterday that I was serious about it this time.

Of course, there is a promised trip to Hawaii on the line.

Next summer....next summer.

But there is also being around for my kids,

and just liking the way I look.

I cringe when people tag me in pictures on Facebook.

But you know what?

I can choose different.

I can choose to surrender this area, again,

and again if need be,

to the Lord and change.

So....

I choose.

RANDOM PHONE PHOTOS

MC 2 got stung by something and felt the need to document to event.

HH cooked for his dad's birthday party.

Farm that we keep for the little cousins.
 MC 2 has played with it since we got it out last week.

Tractors in a row

MY LITTLE RED NOTEBOOK...

of which you will apparently see no pictures because my laptop is, once again, playing hard to get with my phone and ignoring it, is where I take notes from TV sermons I see. It is mainly my notes from Wednesdays with Beth on Life Today, but there are also notes from sermons by Brian Houston of Hillsong and James Robison of Life Today.
I don't know about you, but I have been know to take notes and then never look at them again. Much like some of my students. I mean I am great in moment. I have bold prints and arrows and bullets, and then I close my little red book and never look at it again. I did the same with my sermon notes for a bit, until I decided I needed to be a better student.
I decided last week I wanted to read back over my notes in the red book. I have 2 years worth of notes to look through. I ran across one over desire and desperation and felt the highlights were worth sharing. This material is from Beth Moore. Not Rhonda. This is Rhonda.

• What is it you feel you lack that would make you complete?
• wealth, fame, husband, kids, great friends, that particular friend, skinny thighs...
• Because right there is the place you are vulnerable.
• oh man.....
• Guard that area! That is where the heavenly war is raged.
• be diligent!
• John 1:38
• What seek ye? What do you want?
• Genesis 30:1
• What do you think you will just die if you don't have? (See bullet #1)
• My enemy is watching over my desire.
• IF UNGUARDED, MY DESIRE TURNS INTO DESPERATION.
• Get completion in God first
• Don't make decisions out of desperation.

That last line makes me think of those Direct TV commercials, especially the one with Charlie Sheen.


I don't need to give you a list of the examples we all see of desire becoming desperation in our very own lives, much less the ones played out on a national forum.
Eating disorders, money stealers, adultery, jealousy, lust,  murder...we can list all the examples we want.
Since reading this last week, I have been looking at my own life and found a few places where the wave of desire is trying to turn into a tsunami of desperation. Let's surrender those areas to Jesus. It won't be easy. Our flesh so wants what it wants, and sometimes it wants good things, but even our desire for good things can turn into a not so good desperation.
With Christ Jesus, though, we can choose.
Choose today.

BECAUSE IT'S THURSDAY....

We are about like this today.

A FINANCIAL PEACE UPDATE....CRITICAL CONDITION

I felt you deserved an update about our Financial Peace journey. (I actually wrote on my "blog ideas" notes list - a Dave Ramsey update - an honest one). I think this scripture hits the very small nail on the head.....

Matthew 7:14 (NKJV)

Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it.

I really hope that is not sacrilegious. But if you have been on the Dave Ramsey road, you know it is a narrow one, with steep slopes on each side that you can easily fall off. Especially when not walking completely in step. Either of you. Read that again.....EITHER OF YOU.
Please be clear, there is no finger pointing here. HH and I have both taken missteps and fallen off the path. However, we do get back up and start walking again.
Dave told us the first month wouldn't work perfectly.
He was right.
June was the first month I could devote my full attention to the budgeting process. The paper work looked good. Tight but good. The manifestation was a bit of a mess.  And that frustrates me. I tend to be of the mindset that IF I CAN'T DO IT PERFECTLY, JUST FORGET IT!
Steep slope right there, and I tumbled right down.
Here is July, so we get back up, and start walking again.
If you have traveled this narrow road, and have encouragement for us, well, I'll be honest, I could use it:)
In the mean time, I will be choosing to be diligent and get back at it.

THIS TUESDAY...

Discussing Saul and Ananias today.

WHERE YOUR RUBBER MEETS THE ROAD...

Her husband has decided to be an atheist.
He just got back from a mission trip and fears the sting of what he saw will fade.
She was sick for 2 years.
Her man was deployed for a year.
They lost a child hours after he was born.
Her mind has become a battlefield.

As we sat in class discussing how we get through the dark times, I heard or thought about these stories I knew to be true. The answer was the same - you stay in the body of Christ, you focus on what you know to be true, you get deep in scripture. You choose.
As I sat there listening, I couldn't help think of how we, sometimes, can make it sound like an easy choice, like if you're a good Christian it should not be difficult, and how unfair that is of us. We make newbies think they are failing if they struggle with it. We make older Christians want to hide their struggles because they should be better and be stronger by now.
It is not always the easy choice. It takes work. It takes being intentional and deliberate.
As I said to one, do not let anyone condemn you for being afraid, or for crying, or for being upset. You need to shed those tears and you need to be honest in those fears. However, in the midst of all that is where your rubber meets the road. At the bottom of all those emotions and vain imaginations and hurts, you must make the choice to believe Jesus or not. We all have to make that choice. And it's usually not a one time decision. You may have to choose every day, you may have to choose it every hour, or you may have to choose it with every thought.
And only you can make it.
We can believe Jesus for you.
We can pray and intercede for you.
We can encourage you.
But we can not choose for you.
You choose.
And you can not choose for me.
I choose.

Today, if the darkness is trying to overtake, if the tears come up like a fresh hit oil well, if the fears try to cripple your every muscle, you take every bit of that before God. You be honest and you pour it all before the feet of Jesus. Don't try to hide it. Don't try to act like a good Christian who has it all under control. You lay it all out. If need be, you lay it all before a trusted brother or sister in Christ as well. You unload all your baggage you have been carrying on your walk, and then you let that rubber hit the road. You choose. One foot in front of the other in steps surrendered to Jesus Christ. You stay in the body, you restate over and over what you know to be true about the heart and character of God, and you dig up Scripture.

Each step will become more sure.
Each mile walked will be with more confidence.
Not in you but in Him.
Your knees will steady, your back will straighten, and your head will look up.
Soon you will see that on this narrow road, you do not walk alone.
He chooses to walk with you.

Psalm 9:9-10 (NKJV)

The Lord also will be a refuge for the oppressed,
A refuge in times of trouble.
And those who know Your name will put their trust in You;
For You, Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You.