THE FINAL STRETCH...

The last two weeks have felt a wee bit like a triathlon. The week before Christmas found the MCs and I shopping like mad people during the day and staying up way too late at night. HH spent the week hunting. MC 1 would have gone, but he just got an expander put on his top teeth and didn't feel dad was up to the challenge of cranking it every day for a week. The boys were real troopers Thursday. We shopped until about 8:00pm when MC 1 told me he felt weird. One look in his eyes and I knew what it was....shopping fatigue. He was weak with hunger, and much like his little brother, his boots were no longer made for walking. MC 2 gave out about an hour before. So after a quick refuel at Chick-Fil-A we hit the last stop on our list- Wal-Mart. Honestly, the mall freaked me out more. At least in Wal- mart I know where I am. Maybe a million people with me, but I know where I am. The mall....oh well...that was too much.
To their credit, the MCs were up and ready to go again Friday. MC 1 loves to shop. I blame his aunts and grandmother spending his formative years taking him to Dallas. I had hopes Friday would be much calmer compared to Thursday, but then we went to Academy. Along with everyone else who lives in a 60 mile radius of our town. My word! We were doing good until we had to move to another part of the store. And that is where we lost him. M...C...2.
No clue where he was, no clue where he thought we were headed. I had MC 1 go left and I went right and we did not find him. I conceded loss and walked up to the manager and said I am sorry but my son has walked away from me only to have MC 2 walk right up to me carrying Aggie golf club covers. You mamas know....relief and anger all at the same time.
The weekend was spent with family, lots of gifts, too much food, and many memories. Rarely am I ever able to surprise HH with his gift. This year - I did! He was shocked and pleased all at the same time and that made me very happy.
This week has been a recovery from last and preparation for next. House cleaned, laundry done, MCs room culled of clothes and toys.
So we prepare today to run this final stretch of 2011 watching the Aggies play (oh please play) and more family time.
Have a great and safe New Year's Eve and I'll see you in 2012!

ALL THAT BLAH BLAH BLAH....

Yesterday, after church, we were talking with the MCs about what they did in kids church and got their version of the nativity story. We talked about angels and shepherds and the MC 1 ventured in to Joseph's part of the story.

(All though not verbatim, because,well people, that was yesterday, it is a pretty close summary and the key points remain the same).

And the she told Joseph and he got mad at her because he thought....(pause)....well he thought...(pause).....because he thought she was blah blah and all that other stuff.

Yep - exactly how it reads in Matthew.

HEART PROMPTS

A Martha Heart

A CHRISTMAS ROMANTIC

I love Christmas lights. I don't know if I always have, but I remember as a teenager being enthralled with the beauty of our Christmas tree. I would sit in the dark room, alone, with nothing but the tree lights on and love every minute of it. It was peaceful to me. At A&M, the city of College Station would decorate its park and I would always try to convince a friend to go with me. I love driving around and looking at lights as well. It is a passion I have passed on the MC 2. He LOVES Christmas lights. He loves spotting them. He loves describing them as we drive by. He uses words like beautiful and bright and Santa Land.

One word I often think of when I look at lights is romance.

Romance?

Yep, you read it right. I think Christmas lights are romantic. It is odd I am sure. It is not like I ever had a romantic moment one under the magic of some Christmas lights. Granted, HH, did confirm our engagement at Christmas of 1997, but I don't really count chunking a stuffed animal with a ring attached at me and saying here you go terribly romantic, even if it was Winnie the Pooh.

But it never fails, every Christmas my heart swoons with romance at the sight of Christmas lights.

Lights....Bing Crosby....Nat King Cole....fireplace roaring.... I would be one big old Hallmark movie in the making.

Thinking about it tonight, I think maybe "romantic" isn't such an odd choice after all. I mean the story of Christmas itself is full of what I call romance. A girl willing to stand firm on her faith in God, regardless of the cost. A man willing to stand firm on his convictions, his faith in God, and right beside the woman he loves, or at least likes a little if he was willing to marry her. A couple setting off together, with no one to count on but themselves and God, not knowing where they are headed or what lies before them, but confident they can face whatever comes together and in the strength the Lord provides.

However, those are not the greatest examples of romance in the story. A Prince, willing to humble Himself to a pauper, out of love for His Father and His people. A Father, who saw His people's demise coming, saw their weaknesses being preyed upon by His enemy, knowing they could do nothing to save themselves, willing sent His Son on a mission that would end in His suffering and death.

All out of love.

What is more romantic than that?

What is greater love than that?

So maybe when my heart swoons at Christmas lights, perhaps it is only responding to the reality of what Christmas is.

The greatest act of love mankind has ever known.

The ultimate sacrifice made for each and every one of us.

In all our frailty.

In all our sin.

In our mess ups.

In our prideful flare ups.

Love.

Constant Love.

Abiding Love.

Secure love.

Wooing us to a better life.

Drawing us to a destiny that will stand the test of all time.

Now that's romance......

A DAY WITH STREPTOCOCCUS

MC 2 and I spent the day together, thanks to his diagnosis of strep throat. We cleaned house, we did laundry, we totally got our Christmas on listening to Toby Mac's new Christmas CD. MC 2 desired to hear it so badly he braved to cold to get it out of the truck. I would have said my truck but my truck is dead so it is a loaner per the in-laws. So is the one HH is driving because his truck went belly up this weekend as well. Like it got the stomach virus and strep throat all at the same time.
We are waiting on getting a tree until school is out. Honestly, I could wait until Christmas Eve, when they all go one sale and you can get a glorious tree for SUPER CHEAP! I am afraid HH won't be able to hold out though. He may just show up with a tree one of these days. I do have 2 presents wrapped which is huge for me because I am a fan of Christmas Eve shopping. I plan on taking the MCs this year to buy for our immediately family, but they will go one separate days because that was a fiasco LAST YEAR!
Tomorrow it is back to the grindstone. I am sure the darlings missed me....yeah... I am sure they did.
Have a great Wednesday!

IT HAD ITS MOMENTS

The weekend was jam packed from the start. At least that is how it was planned. Friday was to be our only night home. The MCs and HH went fishing while I cleaned a little bit of house and made up some good ole chicken fried steak. Saturday was our last rodeo. I had a picture, but my new iPhone, which it seems can track my every move and keystroke, can't seem to email me my own photos. The boys did really well and walked out with a halter, spur straps, and the all important belt buckle. We dashed home, took naps, and HH and I got gussied up to see David Crowder in his last Texas performance. We dropped the MCs off with the MIL, and headed to dinner and the concert. The ill fated concert that was not meant to be for three songs into it we had to leave. MC 1 decided to throw up EVERYTHING he had eaten all day. We ran by the dollar store to pick up supplies, worked through HH's reality check that the term "dollar" store does not necessarily mean A dollar, and managed to get out unscathed when he said he could get Lysol cheaper at Wally World. I attribute our safe exit to my charming rapport with the cashier and the fact that he didn't see the dirty look she gave him. Recalling a comment from Big Mama's blog, I gave MC 1 Coca-Cola, the trademarked stuff, to see if it would help. Seems it did and he slept the night away. MC 2, however, got up twice to tell me his throat hurt. Why he couldn't tell HH, who was right next to him in bed, I don't know, but it would appear these things only a mama can hear. Sunday found us at home, recovering, and watching it rain.
The countdown is on for the end of school. Plans are being made for teacher gifts, holiday shopping and traditions to keep up. Hope you guys have a great week!

Isaiah 9:2 (NKJV)

"The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; Those who dwelt in the land of the shadow of death, upon them a light has shined."

A BLACK FRIDAY INDEED

it was for many an Ag. Honestly, I usually do not get emotionally involved in A&M's football games, but I felt myself wanting to cry after this one. I mean like even days later. It was the pinnacle of heartache.

The obligatory Thanksgiving recap - here we go.

First,the week went nothing like I had planned. I think I stayed home exactly ZERO days. I spent the first part of the week purchasing turkeys for HH so he could smoke them.

I never understand why he has me buy pre-made marinades and such. He always makes up his own. The man is not a recipe follower. AT ALL. Which, at times, can drive his rule follower of a wife crazy. A free spirit in the kitchen.

Thursday was spent doing what most of you did - eating, watching football, eating some more. The MCs and I were going to take in a movie, but we took in a nap instead.

Friday, we ventured to the movie theater and stayed away from stores as much as possible.

Saturday we made an impromptu trip to Bass Pro, because it is the Christmas season and I am all about free ornaments made out of those fishing bobber things and a FREE picture with Santa. However, it seems everyone else in the area was all about a FREE picture with Santa as well, and while I am a fan of FREE, I value my time. Standing in line for an hour plus was more than I was willing to pay. But we will be back Santa, don't you worry, 'cause I am getting me my FREE picture. It is worth all the other money someone finds to spend in the store while we wait. Sunday, the MCs and I headed to church while HH worked. After lunch we went jeans shopping for MC 2 at Target. A complete bust in the jean department, but a total score for Charlie Brown and Rudolph Christmas propaganda. I am sucker for it every year.

I just realized I left out that we started decorating for Christmas on Saturday as well. We watched Christmas movies, had hot chocolate, and completely abandoned my plans for simplicity and all natural decorations. There are lights around our door, across our mantle, and at one point in time, completely strung across my living room and wrapped around HH's recliner.

I am a hold out for not decorating until after Thanksgiving, so to be up and going this soon is huge.

Then the Sunday night reality check came in when I realized I had not done a single thing for work like I had planned. Nor had I made the MCs do any school work as I had planned. I hadn't froze any leftovers like I meant to. I did not have my kitchen table cleared off like I wanted to. Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

So this morning, I got up at what I thought was 4:30am, only to discover it was 3:30am (I have got to set those clocks on the phone back!), and instead of doing anything about all that I didn't do, I am here talking to you. By now it is 4:30, which makes it much too late to go back to bed and think I will get up in time to get everyone ready and out the door.

So....

Up and at 'em.

Yep....here I go.

Getting the day started.

No burning daylight for me............

Okay, I really am going now.

Have a wonderful Monday!

BEAT THE....

you know....

outta t.u.

WHOOP!

TALKING TURKEY....

Cooking tips?

Nah.

I am going to talk about these turkeys.

See this?

This is not what they are doing this morning,

Or have been doing all week.

And when they do, it is not even in their own bed.

Monday we went "shopping".

MC 1 declared it the best day ever.

As much as I would like to think it was spending the day together he enjoyed so much, I am pretty sure his grand sentiments had much more to do with him getting a jacket he has wanted for what seems like all his life. A jacket he has slept in for the last two nights and worn for the last two days.

MC 2 got some cop cars that I have yet to see him play with.

And this turkey....

discovered the joy of smoking his own turkeys last year and is in full turkey smoking mode again this year.
Which means I am in full turkey smoking mode.
It also means some of us will be up all night tonight because we like nothing better than waiting until the last minute.
The pressure....we live for the pressure.

So as I scavenge the store for the last of the fresh birds, I hope your preparations are going great. I hope you get to spend Thanksgiving with the turkeys you love and cherish. I hope your faraway turkeys come home to roost for a few days.
Do turkeys roost?
I think they do.
I think I heard that in a hunting show one time.
Probably Waddell...yep, I bet it was him.

I pray, for me as much as you, that we remember in all our doings, to be thankful for the very ones we are doing for.
Above all, thankful to Christ Jesus, the One who did all for us.

I SEE A PATTERN HERE....

At first I thought it was an accident,

because these things get loose and fall off....

then I found these and I think it was no accident.

THE THURSDAY BEFORE THE THURSDAY...

is where we are. So far this week has been full of epic fails, medical drama, and MCs with insomnia which means a mama with insomnia.
For my part, I contributed to the epic fail. Actually, I pretty much owned it. I did own it. Right in front of MC 1. Stumbled right over a big stone in my way called MY FLESH, completely blew it, and then had to spend the next two days explaining how being a Christian does not mean you always get it right. That even Christians sometimes choose to do what they know is wrong because they are just ticked off. About how when that happens, no matter the scale of fail (hehe), your faith in Christ Jesus and the forgiveness only He and God can provide is what allows you to be picked and set to walking again, and the next time, I can choose a different response.
Yep....good times.
The medical drama...HH owns that one. Praising the Lord he is fine, but Tuesday found him not so sure. Probably would not have been so bad if I had not left my cell phone on my room, while my physics kids and I raced balloon powered rocket cars, but I did. Needless to say when I finally got the note that said husband called, on his way to the ER, and actually called him back, HH was a little miffed at me. FYI - we avoided the ER and visited our local doctor and all is well.
And now I found myself up at 3:21 because I forgot to wash jeans last night and we are desperate for clean clothes. MC 2 has been in our room since about 2, a repeat of last night. MC 1 just got up, wanted to play his DSI and is angrily falling back asleep on the couch.
And I just realized I need to look over a couple of tests for the little darlings at school, so I reckon it is a good thing I am up on this Thursday before the Thursday.....
I hope you have a great one!

I CAN...IT'S NOT...

Mrs. Beverly has been our neighbor for several years. Other than the occasional I have your mail or I am coming to pull weeds off the fence, we really did not have much interaction. I was working, and after her mom was put in an assisted living residence, Mrs. Beverly was just our reclusive neighbor.

The first year I stayed home, we visited more often across the fence, but we still did not spend a great deal of time together. This past year was a different story. It started because she had car troubles and needed to get into town about once every two weeks. I had the time so when she asked, I obliged. When her car broke down a few times, she called me to come get her. We talked about God and church. We talked about raising boys and trying to do the best you can. We talked praying for and loving them when they don't. She told me of her loves past, and her desire for companionship now.

And because she couldn't sleep and listened to late night talk radio, we talked global warming, earthquakes, and terrorists attacks.

One Sunday about a month and a half ago, Mrs. Beverly called me after I got home from church and told me she needed to go to the hospital. She was sure she had Lyme disease. When I picked her up, she was crying. Never....N...E...V...E...R... had I seen her show any emotion. I knew this was bad. I took her to our local ER and waited while they cared for her. What they found was even more severe, and Mrs. Beverly was rushed to another hospital that could handle her failing kidneys and sky rocketing blood pressure. They rushed her out so quickly I did not even speak to her.

While in the hospital, it was discovered that she had cancer. Her return home meant she needed dialysis. During the week, a medical van would pick her up, but on the weekends, another neighbor and I would accommodate. The talks on these car rides had different overtones. We talked Jesus. We talked dying. We talked about her fear of dying alone or in pain. We talked how long she thought she would be with us.

The last trip I took with Mrs. Beverly, she told me about the angels she believed she had been seeing. We talked about what she thought Heaven would be like. I asked her is she was ready to go, which she was. I am ever so grateful that the Lord gave me the boldness to ask if she knew Jesus as her Savior, if she had surrendered her life to Him, and ever so happy to hear her say a resounding yes. Then, with tears in both our eyes, I told her we both knew that regardless of how much time she had left, this wasn't the end.

That was the middle of October. Mrs. Beverly passed away the first part of November. Her brothers were here and she was surrounded with friends I believe.

Why tell you all this?

Not because I need you to pat me on the back. I don't. Truth of it, I did not always serve Mrs. Beverly with a joyous heart. There were times I did it because I knew it was the right thing to do. It wasn't always convenient. It wasn't always what I had planned to do for my day. Don't get me wrong, I was always gracious and courteous, but some days it was with a bit of a begrudging attitude. Because some days I saw it as a bother. And who can be bothered?

W...E...........C...A...N........

We can.

You can.

I can.

We can be bothered to stop. Stop and listen. Stop and say hello. Stop and give a hug.

Looking back over the last year, I feel a mixture of shame and gratitude. Shame for how I wasn't as willing as I should have been. Yet, mixed in that is a gratefulness for the times I did have with Mrs. Beverly.

Maybe you feel you can't be bothered. Bothered to write a letter to a relative. Bothered to stop in on a widow, or a single mom, or a married mom, and say hi. Bothered to help someone out if you can. Bothered to share the love of Christ. To be His hands and feet.

Can I say with utmost humility, yes you can?

You and I must.

Why?

Because, as I told Mrs. Beverly, we know this is not the end.

Titus 3

1 Remind them to be subject to rulers and authorities, to obey, to be ready for every good work, 2 to speak evil of no one, to be peaceable, gentle, showing all humility to all men. 3 For we ourselves were also once foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving various lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful and hating one another. 4 But when the kindness and the love of God our Savior toward man appeared, 5 not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit, 6 whom He poured out on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Savior, 7 that having been justified by His grace we should become heirs according to the hope of eternal life.

TRUE TO EACH OTHER AS AGGIES CAN BE

I am an Aggie.

Unashamedly.

MC 1 : Mom? Do you like the Aggies?

Yes

MC 1: But aren't they kinda bad in the second half?

Yes.

MC 1: Then why do you still like them?

Because that is what loyalty is all about. Good or bad, I still like them. Just like Jesus likes us good or bad and how I like you.

MC 2 (from the back seat) : Yeah! She still likes me when I am bad!

Yes I do and Jesus love us to.

And that is how you use college football to make a theological point.

Every chance we get peeps, every chance we get. Impart the knowledge of Christ to your kids or your neighbors kids or the church kids.

Every Chance WE GET!

WHAT THE CHILDREN OF A DEER HUNTER DO DURING OCTOBER...

BUT I DON'T AWANA.....

I have been co-leading a group of 2nd grade boys at AWANA for about 6 weeks now. This is my first year with AWANA and had you asked me during the first two weeks, it would have been my last.

Straight up truth telling time- I had no desire to work with little ones. Zip....none. However, I wanted the MCs to go, and so I figured I would serve my time as well. Well, the craziness that is the first two weeks wore on my attitude, and I apparently wore my attitude on my face. Every single time I walked past someone they would say, "It gets better....it really gets better", and every time I would think, Yes it will, next year when I am not doing this.

Round week three I became aware I needed a Holy Spirit inspired attitude adjustment. In my asking, one of the first things that I was cut to the quick with was this thought-

If you, Rhonda, esteem the Word as highly as you profess. If you, Rhonda, believe in the life changing power, the freedom and healing power scripture provides--- then why in the world would you not be thrilled to death at the chance to help get that Word planted in some little men children, much like your own. If you think enough about it to bring your kids, why do you not esteem it enough to help other kids.

That, my friends, is called a swift kick in the derriere.

Because you know what He was really saying?

Exactly what He said.

Funny thing about God, He doesn't mince words about the Word.

Needless to say, my attitude has been a little better since. Now, Wednesdays are still tough. I am tired. My MCs do their homework at some fast food joint in between school and church. Bath time comes much later than it should. We all drag a little more on Thursdays.

But for me, the investment is worth the payment.

Especially when I think of what I am doing as a form of discipleship. We aren't just listening to verses for points. We are learning how to be respectful listeners during council time. We are learning how to get our praise on during worship. We are learning how to be gracious losers and humble winners during game time. We are learning how to pray for our friends and that no prayer is too small. We are learning that we matter, we are of value, and we are worth the investment.

So no, I didn't want to AWANA.

But now,

I CHOOSE.

GOING FOR MORE THAN JUST MOORE

My sister and I are going to the SMST next January. I have been keeping up with my verses. I have them written on my official SMST set of spiral note cards. I have posted them on the blog. I have done all I was to do except one thing.....learn my verses.
It has been hard and I have been unmotivated. As I was driving to work the other morning, it struck me what was the deal was....I was literally going to see Beth Moore. I was going to get away, to take a break, and to see Beth Moore.
From what I know of her, I can tell you right now, that if Mrs. Moore read this, she would probably say,
"Sweet thang....please don't come for that. Please stay home if that is what you are coming for."
And she would be right.
It is October now. 10 months in. 10 months I have been focused on seeing the Moore, that I have missed the more God had for me.
The more of Him.
The more of me.
More truth.
More faith.
More freedom.
More victory.
As I looked back over the verses I had chosen, I couldn't help but say to myself,
"Yep, could have used that one here and that one then",for pretty much all of them.
But God is gracious to me. He let me see my folly before the year was gone and my motives had sealed my actions. I have 2 months. Two months of more before the Moore, and I plan on grabbing every single bit of it.
2 months of more God is worth the work.
Worth the fight.
Worth the more that I can give.
So, dear sweet Siesta Mama, should you ever read this, please know that while I no doubt will cry tears when I meet you face to face and ask to hug that sweet neck and take a picture, I am not coming to see you.

I am coming for M...O...R...E...

ANATOMY OF A FALL.....

We are coming out of the shoot.

We are saddled up and ready to go.

We have our hearts and our heads protected.

We have Daddy holding us so tight we can feel it.

Yep, it's all good.

Little dust....

a few twists...

won't take the smile off our face

because we can feel Daddy holding on tight.

Then we don't feel Daddy so much.

Things start to get a little sideways.

Things begin to come out from under us.

A twist we didn't expect causes us to lose our seat.

And we fall.

And it hurts.

We come up sucking air.

We try desperately to get our next breath,

feeling certain we are dying.

Tears are flowing...

we are gasping thinking we are hurt.

Wondering where Daddy went.

What we don't realize is that we were still protected.

Our hearts and heads still covered.

And Daddy, He is right there the whole time.

Picking us up....

Dusting us off....

Loving us through the fall....

So that He can encourage us to get up and ride again.

* Photos by Kay Owens photography

For the record, MC 2 said he was "done riding the sheeps!"

LACK OF CONFIDENCE....

Boys, after church we have to go by Lowe's and Wal-Mart.

Why are we going to Lowe's?

I need to get a board for the floor.

Don't we need Audie?

No.

Or Uncle Sean?

No. Mom is quite capable of going to Lowe's and buying a board.

Doubtful eye roll.....

AND THEN CAN I SAY....

taking a kid with what we lovingly have called "duck lips" all his life to the orthodontist was no field trip either. Someone will be wearing braces for a long time. Someone else thinks that alone may be the reason she went back to work. (Not really, but maybe a little).

Still kicking "destiny" around. The next section is just as convicting.....

She did not consider her destiny;
Therefore her collapse was awesome;
Lamentations 1:9 (NKJV)

First, I don't want to collapse. Second, I most certainly don't want it to be awesome!

Pastor has been very toe stompy as of late. Then he is going to have the nerve to have us read another book by Platt. I am pretty sure my nubbins of toes left from Radical are a bit nervous.

The MCs and HH have been having a Street Fighter tournament the last few nights.
Thrilling.
We are all excitement over here.
Yep.
All excitement.
All the time.
It's how we roll.

FIRST CAN I SAY....

it is not a fun task taking a child to the dentist who thinks "silver" teeth are AWESOME!

Defeats the purpose.

Second, a musing about destiny on AMH today.

Thirdly, I miss home.

Have a great Monday!

BECAUSE IT'S FRIDAY....

I thought you would enjoy this.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?

Last week I gave a major assignment to one of my classes and they bombed it.

B...I...G T...I...M...E.

But I knew they would.

Because I knew they hadn't prepared.

Straw poll after the fact verified this.

What caught me a little off guard was the student who said,

"Since we all did so bad, what are you going to do about it?"

Me?

Nothing.

You knew what the assignment was.

You knew when it was.

You were unprepared.

Consequences are yours.

As I was sitting in church today, reflecting on our study of Psalm 51 over the last two weeks, that conversation played out in my head again. I could not help but think how many times I come to Christ the same way.

I have blown it.

I let food satisfy a void only You can.

I based my confidence in my wallet instead of Your word.

I lost my temper and snapped.

I have made a huge mistake.

I pursued the desires of my flesh for praises of man and not the praises of my King.

I said something I shouldn't have, knowingly.

I cowered away when I should have been bold.

I compromised on what I knew to be true, and then I justified it by comparing myself to others and trying to compensate by being "good".

I have chosen not to prepare.

I knew this week was going to be busy, yet I planned no time for You.

I knew the meeting was necessary, but I tried to cover myself instead of letting You be my covering.

I knew money was going to be tight, but eating out was so much easier.

Yes, I knew I had that commitment, but I was just tired....or I spent that money elsewhere....or whatever.

Now, Lord, what are you going to do about it?

When I was a young Christian, He bailed me out.

As I grew, He started letting the consequences be mine.

Yes, He walks through them with me, He willingly shoulders the load if I let Him, but rest assured I am the public and private face of them.

And I should be.

I have a had a rough couple of weeks internally. Mentally. Spiritually. I have been hit from all directions, and in areas I never even thought were subject to attack. (FYI: all areas are subject to attack).

I have failed, big time, and I have asked many times, "What are You going to about it?"

Take a straw poll of my week(s), and you will find that I, too, have failed to prepare.

My kids will have a chance to redeem themselves later in the grading period.

I will get another chance as well.

Knowing this.....

the decision to prepare....

Well,it is mine.

I Choose.

WITH BIEBER IN THE BACKGROUND....

MOM!!! Tell MC 2 to stop singing that song.

MC 2 in the background.... Never say never....never say never...never say never....

MC 2 please stop signing that song.

MOM!! He is still singing it!

MC 2 please stop.

M....O....M!!!!! followed by a punch.

MC 1! His disobedience does not necessitate your sin!

................................................

................................................

Yep...let that sit on you for a bit.

BITING HIS TONGUE...

*photos by Kay Owens Photography

AND THIS IS WHY...

We choose to get up one Saturday a month,
for five months,

some of us at 4 am, and some of us at 5 am,

because it makes these babies happy.

And that makes us happy.
*photos by Kay Owens photography

SELLING SHOES...

I sat in the meeting and I heard the words,

"You know when you meet someone and they just have leader all over them."

Not talking about me.

Though my flesh so desperately wanted it to be me.

It actually went through my head,

I wonder why that was not said about me.

Then right after that I thought,

what is up with your puffed up head.....get over yourself.

Later that night I was thinking the whole thing over again,

and I am not sure how we got there,

but during my internal discussion, someone interjected with....

What if you are just the shoe salesman?

Now it could have been my flesh, lamenting its lack of pomp and circumstance.

It could have been the enemy trying to discourage me.

Or it could have been the Lord asking,

What if you are just a shoe salesman?

Will that be enough?

What if you going into that classroom everyday is it?

What if you loving those men children of yours,

and the ones that come along that aren't,

so what if that is as big as it gets?

So what?

Shoe salesman....

knelt down before people, serving them.

No pomp.....

No circumstance...

Shodding their feet with the gospel of peace as I go along,

or crushing their toes while I try to get ahead?

I wish I could tell you my flesh just gave in on its desire to be celebrated.

It just surrendered that ground.

It didn't.

It won't.

But it doesn't choose.

I DO.

YOU DO.

Jeremiah 45:5

"And do you seek great things for yourself?

Do not seek them;

for behold,

I will bring adversity on all flesh,"

says the Lord.

" But I will give your life to you as a prize in all places,

wherever you go."

Shodding with peace?

Crushing with pride?

Which shoes are we selling?

We would be wise to take note,

for someday we may have to walk in them.

HELLO WORLD.....

I am going to blame my lack of blogging on my Internet deciding it need some rest this past week. Seems it is scared of lightening and decided to duck and cover after a storm last week. MC 2 asked me last Monday where I had been all day. I have been asking myself that for the last two weeks. I just finished a power point for physics and need to get everyone up and going, so here is a statement. ( I was going to say a list, but I am pretty sure a single bullet point does not constitute a list).

• School is going great for all of us.

Hope your weeks have been good to you as well.
See you...well, someday!

IT WENT MUCH BETTER THIS TIME AROUND...

Meet the Teacher that is. Of course, it usually does when everyone is there. Last night HH got a video message from my mom showing MC 1 bungee bouncing on something. Don't think that sentence doesn't shock me. Mom sent a video message...I am impressed. We will see the boys tomorrow. Me thinks they have not missed us too much. MC 2 told mom, " We wuv it here!". Getting them home may be a chore. But higher education beckons on Monday, so they have no choice. Besides...they belong to us and have to do what we say:)
Did I tell you about the discussion the boys and I had about HH being the head of the household, aka the boss. You know, trying to instill some biblical authority thinking in them. Yep....except now they use it against me anytime they don't want to do something.
You said dad's the boss and he didn't tell us to do that.......
I am thinking we will be needing to go back and do a little reteaching there.
I hope you guys have a great weekend!

GETTING MY DATES RIGHT...

It feels like it has been forever since I last posted something. Yet it has only been a couple of days. Of course, you are reading the ramblings of a woman who thought yesterday was the 18th (ALL DAY LONG). A woman who had her HH rush home so we could go to Open House for the MCs, loaded up the haul of school supplies, only to finally realize, when there was not a single soul at the school, that yesterday WAS NOT IN FACT the 18th- which is when Open House will actually be.
A thin thread gals, hanging on by a very thin thread.
The week has been good in all truthfulness. The MCs have been at their grandparents house since Sunday. HH and I go our separate ways to work each day and then come home and crash. The school I am in is brand new, as in still not finished brand new, and is really pretty. Which kind of balances out with the way my house looks right now.
So, I am still here.
I finally know what day it is.
That, well, may the best we can hope for.
Not really, 'cause we have Jesus!

Let us hold fast to the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful.
Hebrews 10:23 (NKJV)

"I" HAVE BEEN UP FOR A WHILE...

And this is the part of starting something new I hate.
The anxiety.
The insecurities.
The being awake at 3:15 am and then 4 and then 4:15.....
The feeling that I want to cry.
That I want to eat everything in sight.
Then cry for doing that.
The desire to run to my tv and get lost in some meaningless show (s) for hours so I don't have to deal with it.
I'll be honest with you. Since I got up at 4:15 I have watched Giuliana and Bill, and am right now hoping Ren and Willard can lift my spirits with some crazy dance moves.
Then beating myself up for not being more productive.
The lecture that I gave myself last night about how MUCH, MUCH more I am going to have to get it all together, be more disciplined because when it all starts up next week, I am hitting the ground running.
New job, new ministry, new relationship, new town....
They all carry their own stuff.
Know what I noticed about my list of troubles?
There is a whole lot of "I" in there.
Even though "I" am the one fleshing these things out,
"I" don't have to do it alone.
The "I" in me can choose to be alone.
To try to do this all in my own power, control and strength.
To worry and fret and agonize what might be or what could happen or not happen.
"I" can choose that.
But the fact that "I" can choose must mean I get to pick between paths.
The "I" path, well, I have done that one.
Too many times and for too long.
Like this morning at 4:15, just for an example.
The other choice....

I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.
Galatians 2:20 (NKJV)

Faith.
In Him.
Better choice.

CHURCH NOTES

I love being a student.

Assuming I am being educated and not just read to.

I am one of those peeps who takes fast & furious notes during a sermon.

I am also one of those people who hates to study.

Which is why it has only been over the last several months that I have been

deliberately re-studying my sermon notes during my morning devo.

Anyway, I thought it might be fun to show you my "notes".

You should in advance my note journal serves a wide range of purposes.

I'm just tellin' ya up front.

This is my official notes journal right now.

I am pretty sure SS#2 gave it to me.

Please note I am not supporting a store or a brand with these photos.

I am going to make Texas Trash later today.

We work on our numbers.

Sometimes we have to draw.

This is what my "notes" look like.

I try to highlight while I am re-reading.

Note the frustration at the whippersnapper Nanny?

I write myself a key point.

What about you?

Are you a fastidious note taker?

Are you a straight up auditory learner?

Perhaps kinesthetic?

How do you process your sermons each week?

'Cause, ya' know, we're kinda suppossed to.

20 YEARS LATER....

This past weekend was my 20 year high school reunion.

In case you are worried because I haven't talked about HH's reunion:

1. I am older than him.

2. He was the only one in his graduating class.

So everyday is a reunion for him...

Several weeks ago I was pretty nervous about going.

I did not go to our ten year one for that very reason.

High school was hard for me.

We moved when I was a sophomore from the only friends I had ever known.

Not just to a new school, or even a new town, but a new state.

To say I had a chip on my shoulder would be like saying it's just a little warm in Texas right now.

I was not the nicest person who walked the halls.

I was mouthy.

I was angry.

I was scared out of my head.

20 years later you would think all those feelings would be gone.

For the most part they were.

They were replaced with feelings of guilt and shame for how difficult I had made life.

Over the last few weeks, I have really been praying for the Lord to let me just be me when I went.

Not the angry girl.

Not the mouthy girl, with killer witty sarcasm.

Not the girl who was scared out of her head.

I wanted to walk in there a girl in love with Jesus.

A girl glad to see each and everyone of them.

A girl who had grown into a woman,

and that woman knows exactly who she is in Christ.

I have to say He answered.

It was wonderful to see faces I had not seen for 20 years.

It was good to see faces I saw last month.

I laughed.

I hugged.

I wished for more time.

Some had faced difficulty.

Some were doing exactly what they were meant to do.

I found myself praying for them all the other day.

That God would restore those that had suffered loss.

That He would speak to them.

That He would love on them.

I hope I don't have to wait 20 more years to do that myself.

I tried to steal other pics from that "book place", but this was the only one that let me.

IT'S A RARE SIGHTING...

As we are walking out the door, going to my 20 year high school reunion...

MC 2: Mom? What is that on your lips?

It's called lipstick son.

I know....sad, so very sad.

FASHION, FREEDOM, AND THE FARM

NOT SO FUNNY...

HH was looking at my blog last night, asking me questions, wondering who reads it besides Rebecca, stuff like that. He then said,

It is so long, and it used to be funny. You used to write about funny stuff.

To which I replied:

1. Funny stuff has to happen.

2. Life is not always funny.

It reminded me of a story I heard Beth Moore tell about a conversation with mom. After she started teaching, I believe, her mom commented on how Beth used to be funnier before she was a bible teacher.

The truth of it is that sometimes this life we walk, and this walk with Christ, is hilarious. Maybe because something really funny did happen. Maybe because the irony of what happened forces us to laugh. And on some days, it's funny because the only other choice is to crawl up in the fetal position and cry your eyes out. Laugh or cry, laugh or cry.

Then there are times when it is not. Times of frustration, like when you lay out a large sum of cash to get an automobile repaired, only for it to come back not. Times of disappointment, when you realize things and people weren't what they thought they were, and you realize you aren't either. Times of sadness when we lose something or someone precious to us. Times of confusion when we cannot for the life of us figure out why something happened or what we are supposed to do with it.

All times that have varying degrees.

Yesterday was not a funny day for me. I was mad. About a lot of things. I sat before the Lord in my rocking chair and ran off my list of things I was mad at. I knew my attitude was bad. I read my scriptures for the day and then I walked away from them. About an hour later I came back to my journal and was ready to deal with myself. My readings were over Hezekiah. His sickness. His healing. His lifted heart. I could not help but ask for forgiveness. Forgiveness for lifting my heart to my circumstances. Praying that when these temporary circumstances were over, and they are temporary, I would not forget God who has healed me. I would not be vain enough to show off all my stuff and forget to honor the very Christ who has provided for it.

And I was the better for it.

Nothing changed circumstantially.

My focus had.

We are not promised funny.

We are promised joy.

We are promised peace.

We are promised He is with us.

And it is my choice to remember that.

How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!

How great is the sum of them!

If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;

When I am awake, I am still with You.

Psalm 139:17-18

FOOTSTEPS OF INDEPENDENCE

As I am getting into the shower...

MC 2: Mom, I can make my own breakfast.

Okay. What are you going to make?

MC 2: A peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I can do it mom, I can do it.

As I am in the shower...

pitterpatterpitterpatter

MC 2: Mom, where is the jelly?

In the fridge.

pitterpatterpitterpatter

MC 2 : Mom, where is the bread?

On the table.

pitterpaterpitterpatter

Those pitterpatters are his steps toward independence.

Soft at first, growing louder each day.

They are hard to hear, but necessary.

Someday I will miss them.

"WEEK"ENDS...

Some weeks a girl has just got to push through.

Regardless of how she feels.

Regardless of what the scale says.

Regardless of the all the old insecurities that try to raise their evil little heads.

This past weekend I turned 38. Which looks much older than I feel when you actually write the number down. Next weekend, I have my 20 year high school reunion. In between, I have my first day of new teacher orientation where first impressions will be made. Now any one of those could set loose a sundry of doubts, fears and insecurities. But all three in one week? Well...if you are a girl child... you know. What to wear? What will people think? Am I going to do that goofy nervous thing I do? Do I have a clue as to what I am even doing here?

I know many of you face challenges right up this ally every week. Some of you face weightier ones every day. So, as my friend Casey says,

You pray for me and I'll pray for you.

Have a good week!

It will end well!

THE OBLIGATORY BIRTHDAY POST...

And now I am 38.

HH asked me that morning if I felt old.

He always does because I am officially older than him now.

I really didn't.

What I did was remember where my family was when my mom turned 38.

How, at the time, she had 4 girls ranging from 15 to 6.

How she and my dad packed us up and moved us to another state.

How I could not even fathom having a 15 year old right now.

Or just starting to have kids.

We talked about ideas I had of getting married at 22, kids at 24ish, and how the Lord in His wisdom did not stick to my plans at all.

I guess I left the conversation feeling like I couldn't imagine my life timeline any different. It is good the way it is.

Which is a good feeling to have on your birthday.

WEDNESDAY...

I keep trying to think of things to say, well, things I can say on here, because there is some stuff... you know.
But what is there to talk about when you have done nothing but stay home.
I could rehash, AGAIN, how much food the seemingly undesirable to anyone ON THE PLANET puppies are eating.
I could tell you how I have forced my kids to read and do math over the summer.
They built forts today....during the 15 minutes please let mommy have some alone time without fighting portion of their day.
I could tell you how physically tired I am. I am not really sure why, except that I have been consistently doing the "e" word (which I dare not say lest I jinx myself) and I am up to 50 minutes a day, and that woman Jillian kicks my tail e.v.e.r.y. single D.A.Y!
Or it might be the fact that for the last three nights, one MC has slept with HH while the other one, and they do switch out, and I have a slumber party on the couch in the living room.
OR it could be the insane house cleaning I have been doing ever since reading Isaiah 32. So you know, my definition of insane is that everything is tidy before I go to bed, INCLUDING my kitchen counter and sinks. Yes, it wears me out.
So, as you can see I don't have much to say.
What do you have?