FRUSTRATED...

Ya'll know what happened to my camera, right?
The other day I remembered that my video camera, archaic thing it is in the world of iPhones, actually takes pictures. I was super excited! Because in the last few weeks I have been attempting to take pictures of the puppies to make a poster with. You know, to get rid of them.... I mean... find them a loving home. Anyway, I had taken some with HH's work camera and put them on my computer. I, of course, deleted them from his camera's memory card as soon as I moved them over. Then MC 1 deleted them from my computer as soon as I turned my back. He is having separation issues. I tried taking some with my phone and emailing them to myself. Fail. So when I recalled that neat little tidbit about my video camera, I was amped. I was taking pictures of all the things I wanted to show you guys. I had pictures of how to make chicken fried venison steak for AMH. I had pictures of the boys after they had used their blue and purple Crayola Color Wonder bubbles for body paint. I took pictures yesterday of my mom and I killing locusts trees, AGAIN. Not as impressive as the first day. She toned it down after the public backlash from the first time. The really was no backlash, just me telling my dad at lunch that I was just trying to stay alive when he asked how it was going.
So I have all this stuff to show you. I am up early, NOT watching the royal wedding so I can get all these pictures over. And this is where frustration hits because my cordy thingy that connects my camera to my computer, it doesn't fit, and I can't seem to find where it needs to fit or what attachment I need or whatever.
Ugh...........
But hey, now you know that I think of you.
I am willing to sacrifice sleep and rest for you.
A plus, no?

PRAYING...

for Alabama....

for MC 1.....

for so many.

The answer to them all.....

Jesus.

AT LEAST IT WASN'T HIM....

We had severe weather round these here parts yesterday.

Even an official PDS...a potentially dangerous situation.

Brilliance....

I am not a fan of tornadoes.

However, since the MCs appeared, I have become much more

adept at giving my fear over to God. Thank you Jesus!

I was okay yesterday until I heard that the Discovery Channel Storm Chasers were near. I looked around and did not recognize any of the names they had down here, so I figured the big stuff would be else where.

Then I saw the following video.

He is a big dog.

He is looking for the real deal.

He has an armored car.

Hello.....he means business.

Now I must confess, I would have been more nervous if it was Reed.

Reed is insane.

Reed likes to get in the tornado.

IN IT!

Seems we are raising a mini Reed.

Not MC 1.

He has his mama's fear.

It's the other one.

He was so juiced up at the thought of a tornado.

He was leaning out the window yelling " A TORNADO! A TORNADO!".

He was disappointed we did not have massive damage all over our yard.

Gratefully, we had only rain.

Many others had much worse.

Please pray for those today who are recovering.

Please pray for those who are in the line of fire today.

Pray Jesus all over them.

Pray He calms the physical winds.

Pray He calms the winds of fear that blow through their hearts.

May winds of doubt and confusion be replaced

with winds fresh from the Holy Spirit full

of grace and peace and assurance in Him.

SMARTER THAN THE TV SHOWS WE WATCH...

MC 1 has a very diverse vocabulary.

Which is surprising because he struggles with reading.

He informed my mom that he was "mortified" at church Easter Sunday.

Why, you ask?

Because we took a family photo.

We are not even a teenager yet.

I didn't have the heart to tell him the family embarrassment only goes down hill from here;)

Yesterday, I heard an assault going on in the bathroom.

When MC 1 emerged, the interrogation began.

The target of the assault...

a fly.

Who apparently was, and I QUOTE,

"mocking" him.

Really?

I told my mom it is not like we are watching Sense and Sensibility over here.

Trust me..we aren't.

And I have no other thoughts about this.

Just perplexed and felt you could be perplexed with me.

'Cause we are all in this thing together;)

A FUTURE ON THE FOOD NETWORK....

It is no secret that even though I have many fabulous qualities (humility being number one;), cooking is not one of them. Bacon is my nemesis. It burns even with the best of intentions. MC 1 smells bacon cooking and the first words out of his mouth are usually, "Is it burned?". Saturday morning I decided to bake the bacon instead of frying it. Granted, I was feeling confident coming off my Friday night victory at supper time when I, without a recipe, successfully made carne guisada to HH's satisfaction. A feat worthy of telling.
I also made waffles for breakfast Saturday and they were good. MC 1 comes into the kitchen and we are discussing what a great morning it is with good bacon and good waffles.


MC 2 - Always cook the bacon this way.

I know, your lucky day right? Nothing burned.

MC 2- I know, I hope it stays that way.
Hahaha Hardy har har....

Aren't you funny...brat.....
Dead silence for a moment...
MC 1 - No really, I hope it stays that way...
Food critic....his plan B.

IF I ONLY....

I had a camera I could have shown you pictures of:

• HH and I attempting to see who could best replicate the yoga pose from last week on the Biggest Loser. It involved lunging to one side, wrapping one arm around you back, the other underneath your thigh and trying to interlock you hands.
  


• HH winning said competition
  


• The six puppies I have left. One vanished. We are still perplexed.
  


• HH fitting into a smaller pair of jeans, without even trying to loose weight.


• The nasty eye rolls I gave him as he strutted around bragging about how he "told me he would fit back into those...blah blah blah...."
  


• The weeks worth of NOT smiley faces MC 2 got and the one smiley face he finally got yesterday.



• The six puppies I still have...who can nurse Bella while she stands because they are little beasts.
  


• The cat being naughty and sleeping in my dresser during the day
  


• The SIX PUPPIES I STILL HAVE.....

But since I don't, you will just have to imagine. Except for the puppies. Those you can see and have in real life.

HAZMAT MAMA

Friday I went over to help my mother cut down and poison some black locust trees. These trees have huge thorns on them that destroy tires, tractor and truck alike. I would have pictures, but you know. She had already informed me that the plan is to cut down the trees and then spray the stumps with some poison. I was not too worried until we actually got out there. She gets ready to mix the "stuff" up and I start to become concerned. Now mind you I have just dressed in a jacket, t-shirt, and jeans. Mom puts on a face mask, rubber gloves, another long sleeve-shirt on top of what she already has on.

Mom? Do I need a mask?

Oh no...you'll be fine...

Uhm...okay.....

I am just extra cautious with this stuff.

Right....and I am not at all nervous..... because this is coming from the same woman who inadvertently medicates herself each time we work cows and doesn't bat an eye. She might twitch....but never bat. (Sorry mom....but you know you laughed;))

My job was to cut down the trees while mom sprayed the stumps.The main goal was staying up wind of the spray, which really wasn't all that bad considering she used a hand sprayer, but the pseudo-drama of it all kept the monotony down. I survived the day with few battle scars. And some seriously sore triceps.

SAD....IT'S JUST PLAIN SAD

Every night MC 2 and HH play a hide and seek game at bedtime. MC 2 buries himself under the covers. HH comes in and asks," Where's MC 2? "(except he uses MC 2's real name because it would be weird to call him MC 2 'round these parts). MC 2 lays motionless on his bed. HH replies," Oh well guess I'll just sleep here! ", and plops himself (gently) onto the bed and thus MC 2. MC 2 giggles, makes noises, and eventually pops his head out. The other night it played out as it has every time. HH plops and says, "Wow this blanket sounds like a pig." And MC 2 made pig sounds. "No it sounds like a rabbit" And MC 2 made frog sounds. Which would be upsetting except the only rabbit sound he has ever heard has been the dying rabbit call on HH's coyote call, and that is not a pretty sound. I join the fun and said, "no it sounds like a cat." And we heard this.... HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS..... You know, that sound cats make when they are not happy, AT ALL. HH and I both laughed and felt bad at the same time. Then we asked, "What sound does a cat make?" HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.... Sad that it is the only noise MC 2 has probably ever heard from a cat up close and personal. No soft meows or pretty purrs. Just hissing. Just plain sad. Explains why our cat only comes out after the boys are gone, to bed or to school. Explains a lot actually;) Still a little sad though.....

NOT SO HAPPY FEELING....

Thursday found me on the final leg of the mouth reconstruction tour, AKA fill all the cavities in your mouth. I spent the afternoon lying around on the sofa, alternating between feeling energized to move and wanting to curl up in the fetal position and cry my eyes out. I blame the "happy" gas, which honestly made me feel not so happy this time around. MC 1 has been using big words in his everyday conversation, which is a good thing for him. Earlier this week he was telling me how he had the "worst day ever", for like the third time this week, because someone knocked his hand and he spilled water. His next statement - But it was refreshing though because it was a hot day. What kid uses the word refreshing? Maybe yours do.....mine....not normally. MC 2 informed me yesterday when they got home he no longer desired to ride the bus to school. Which is probably a good thing seeing as how he has not gotten a smiley face in three days and will be missing recess today. Coincidence .... I don't think so. HH is working hard. He needs to fix his motorcycle, after just getting it legal again last week. I tell you this only because there is not much else to say about HH but he deserves to be included. Have a wonderful weekend!

NUMBERS

THINGS I LEARNED IN THE 2nd GRADE....

Last Friday I substituted in the second grade at the MCs school. Elementary kids are a different breed for me since I am, or was as HH likes to point out, a high school teacher. I like high school kids for the most part. They are old enough to know better and be told so. Some can appreciate my dry sense of humor. 2nd graders, well, it is sort of lost on them. However, I am growing fond of the little rug rats. Not that I want to teach them. That one day in MC 2's kindergarten class confirmed that. But a drop in here and there is not too bad. Here are a few of the things I learned while hanging with the little knuckleheads.....

Him: Hey can I tell you a secret?

Me: Sure

Him: (Ever so softly in my ear) I know Santa isn't real.

Me: You do? Were you upset?

Him: No...

Me: Why? Because you could be naughty now?

Him: Yep.... and no one is watching.

.......................................................................................................

Me: You have Fifths Disease? Did you tell your music teacher?

A different him: Yep. She knows. She talked to her obedient doctor and he said it was fine.

.........................................................................................................

Me: I don't care if you take your shoes off.

Same him as the Santa secret: Mrs.!

Sometimes I have to take my shoes off because I have athlete's foot and it has to dry out!

Me: Okay then.......

14 boys and 4 girls. Not a one absent that day. Bless their teacher's heart!

SUNDAY SCHOOL IS NOT FOR THE WEAK STOMACHED....

Like most good, church going parents, we often ask our kids what their lessons were about each week. MC 2 can usually tell us. MC 1 gives us the preteen shoulder shrug and obligatory I don't know. Yesterday we forgot to ask. Last night MC 1 gave me a recap.

Of his own free will.

Down to chapter and verse.

Which was surprising until I looked up what they studied.

Acts 1:15-19

And in those days Peter stood up in the midst of the disciples (altogether the number of names was about a hundred and twenty), and said, "Men and brethren, this scripture had to be fulfilled, which the Holy Spirit spoke before by the mouth of David concerning Judas, who became a guide to those who arrested Jesus; for he was numbered with us and obtained a part in this ministry."

and MC 1's favorite part.....

(Now this man purchased a field with the wages of iniquity; and falling headlong, he burst open in the middle and all his entrails gushed out. And it became known to all those dwelling in Jerusalem; so that field is called in their own language, Akel Dama, that is, field of blood.)

Except his narration went like this.....

Judas betrayed Jesus and Jesus went pshhhhhhhh ( hand motions here) and Judas' chest bust open and all his guts fell out. His intestines and everything.

Can't wait till they study Judges;)

BEING ME....

Phone rings

Hello?

Hey! (It's my dad) How 'bout them Lady Ags?

I know, right? How 'bout them!

I keep waiting for a hog trap to show up in my yard?

Hey you know what? So do I, daddy, so do I!

Oh...it'll show up someday.

I am sure it will.

Okay we are taking cows to the sale barn and getting a hamburger.

Hey, that is what we are having.

Okay.

Click.

...................................................................................................................

I went to the dentist Wednesday.

I could not feel my nose for about 3 hours.

My face still hurts.

...................................................................................................................

Wednesday night I had a dream that involved Shaun Groves, sporting a serious mullet, Todd Agnew, barefoot, and some other worship guy who looked like Mark Driscoll, but wasn't. I also could not find the class I was supposed to substitute in, nor could I find MC 2's class. And someone confessed that they believed in God and I said thank you, which upset everyone. I am going to blame that part on having just watched the episode of Friends where Ross told Emily he loved her and she replied thank you.

That and watching too much Elephant Room.

And Bec will be the one who appreciates that the most.

................................................................................................................................

I lost four pounds.

MC 1 : Maybe someday you'll be skinny and wear a bikini.

No, I would have skin hanging.

MC 1: Oh, yeah, never mind.

If someone asked if that was your mom I would say no.

I have a different mom.

Thanks.....

Have an amazing weekend of friends, family and worship!

CONTROL-TOP LIFE...

I was called a control freak yesterday. I would have been offended if it weren't true. I like to be in control. Of my life. My kids. HH. Other people. Our family has a running joke that if people would just do what we told them to, things would go a lot better. Of course, we are usually talking about each other.

Usually.

Clearly, being a control freak is a futile endeavor, because in this fallen world we don't control a great deal. For myself, in my Christian walk, it seems hypocritical. As a Christian, I confess to believe that Jesus Christ is in control of my life, yet I still try to control it.Can't have it both ways Rhonda.

Don't misunderstand, I am not talking about being responsible with my kids, my husband, and my life. That I am called to do. I in no way mean to imply that we should just live life flippantly because we have no control. I am talking about being in the ultimate control.

That I know best.

Always.

As a follower of Christ, being a control freak also puts a target on my back for the Lord. He loves me too much to let me keep on in that line of thinking. He has diligently worked it out in many areas of my life over the past few years. Over the past few weeks, He has been targeting in on one. Last week, we had a break through.

I know I can't control everything. I know that. I can control one thing. I can control my submission to Jesus Christ. I can control that I choose Him. In everything. Big and small.

In the pretty things of life and in the ugly.

I can control Who I go to and how quick I get there.

I can control whether or not I choose to be diligent in the little and big things.

I can control how long I let condemnation knock on the door of my heart when I don't.

I don't expect to be instantly delivered from my control freak self. I am pretty sure there is too much to be gained in the work He is doing for that to happen.

And He will continue to fine tune the areas I have been hiding from.

But He is the one doing the work, which is a relief.

I don't want to be in control of that process.

THE EQUALIZER

just typing that I remembered my parents watching that show. The link is for the sisters so they can remember right along with me.

Friday I made a run to Sam's. I purchased the required items, made a pit stop at the insanity they called a bathroom (which is in the midst of a remodel), and made my way to the check out line. My turn came up, I handed over my card, then I walked over to get a bottled water. I smiled sweetly to the lady with the new baby on my way over. As I return to my place in line, doing my mental run down of the rest of the day, I hear this voice behind me, about shoulder level saying,

"I am going to be your friend"....

and I instantly think it is someone I know....

"and tell you, you've got toilet paper hanging out your b - utt."

( Yep - it had two syllables).

Thank you random Sam's lady for being a friend. To all my other "friends" who let me walk by and said nothing - well - toilet paper doesn't play favorites.

It is an equal opportunity mortifier...

The great equalizer...

I'm just saying.

Have a great week!

YOU MIGHT BE....NO.....YOU ARE.....

a redneck

if your father is holding the dog kennel

you need to borrow

(for the seven puppies you need to giveaway)

RANSOM

for the hog pen your husband borrowed from him.

Yep.....you are.