I CAN'T CHOOSE

THE PARTY'S OVER

You know if mama goes back to work, I won't be able to come to your parties anymore.

Ehh...that's okay.

What? So it is okay now?

Yeah, It wasn't when I was 7, but now that I am 8 it is fine.

We have been 8 for less than 72 hours.

TMI

This post of Keri's is too funny not to share. Have a great Monday!

EMOTION OVERLOAD

I mentioned that I was reading a book by Elizabeth George about loving God with your mind and getting that dern thought life under control. I am doing Breaking Free concurrently, so I have no shame in telling you my emotions are on overload. To answer your question Keri, I have not started So Long Insecurity, because I can only look at myself so much at a time. It is next on the list (meaning next week probably).
The latest chapter in EG's book talked about managing your emotions. Same theme...focus on what is real and true...focus on today and not worry about a lot of what ifs...so on and so on.
Can I just tell you that doing that is so very hard for me. I am a queen of what ifs. Seriously if they gave away a crown and a sash it would totally be mine. I can even come up with what ifs about my what ifs. Most of the time my what ifs are so irrational and nearly always based in fear.
It is tough not to think of the what ifs. I mean, honestly sometimes you need to. Preparing a will, planning for your kids future, and even planning for your own future requires a visit to the land of what ifs. I guess the key is how long you stay there, and who rules that land. Is it a land ruled by a tyrannical manipulating liar who enjoys nothing more than torturing me with more what ifs and longs for me to never get back to my present life? Or is it the King of the Universe Who promises that whatever comes, He has got it totally in control and will be with me all the way. The King who encourages me to worry only about today, and even in that, not to worry at all.
I have to believe..NO...I have to know, regardless of what emotion I feel, that Jesus Christ is the Lord of my what ifs. The only way that happens is that He is Lord of my life. What ifs from the yesterday, today, and tomorrow are His.

"Peace I leave with you,

My peace I give to you;

not as the world gives do I give to you.

Let not your heart be troubled,

neither let it be afraid."

John 14:27 (NKJV)

BIRDS OF A FEATHER...FALL TOGETHER

This picture will look familiar to you faithful "from the start" readers. The rest of you can read the explanation here.

Now because HH loves to bow hunt we have a lot of arrows around the house. Arrows without those sharp pointy heads on them.

Because my kids are just apples, they like to play with the super safe arrows. They play swords. They pretend to shoot the buck in the front yard. One of MC 2 favorite movies is The Chronicles of Narnia. He LOVES the last battle scene. The other day I walked out to find this in the driveway.

Apparently the "bad" witch got to them.
It is going to be an interesting summer...for sure.

TWENTY QUESTIONS

Over the weekend our church had a "Night of Worship". The men children and I went on the assumption that there was child care for both of them. As life sometimes goes, child care for
MC 1 fell through, so he went with me.
It went like this (and we only stayed for part)...

What are the flags for?
Well,you know how at the football games people have their team flags?
Yeah
Well, sometimes people want to wave a flag before Jesus
Oh, okay

....time passing (about 5 minutes)

Where are the words?
They haven't put them up yet.
Oh.

......time passing...

What are those people doing up there?
They are praying for each other.
Oh

..... You know....

Why are people crying?
You know how you cry for daddy sometimes when he is gone?
Yep
Same thing. Or they maybe crying because they are happy.
You mean like Grandpa did at your wedding
Yes
Oh

.......(bathroom break).....

Did you mean not to leave the building because I had to get a drink too
Yes, baby that's fine

.......(another bathroom break during which mom feels the need to hit her knees)

(In my ear and very loud) WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
(Recovering from the scare) You know how on Avatar they bow down before the fire king and mommy tells you we don't bow down before anyone except Jesus
Yes
That is what I am doing.
Here take my cellphone and tell me when it is 7:30. I don't have any games so just look at the pics.
Okay. Mom it's 6:59.
Okay
..
It's 7:00
Okay....
It's 7:01...
Okay, baby, I don't need a minute by minute, just tell me when it is 7:30.
Okay

..... quick glance to see what he is doing. He is playing a game...

I told you not to buy one
M-O-M, it was ONLY $2.99
....

It's 7:30.

NEED SOME WIND BENEATH HIS WINGS

*Update I totally dreamed last night that MC 1 had to get his hearing tested (which he really did) and his prize for passing was a HUGE bottle of Wings for Men...

Last week, my niece and nephew spent the day with us. We decided that for lunch we would get pizza from our nearest convenience store.
APPARENTLY that is a social outing that requires we smell our best...or at least our strongest.
I told you about MC 1 and his Wings for Men. Now imagine that times 3. Yes, all three little boys decided to spritz themselves with MC 1 cologne for our trip to the store. However, they sprayed it on like it was scent remover, which meant they put it everywhere. Head to toe!
I got in the truck and had to go back out for air.
We literally drove with all the windows down so we could breathe.
Really did not see this issue coming.
Little men children are supposed to be smelly and stinky.
They are not supposed to be smelling good for the La-dies...
First, you are too young for the LA-DIES,
Second, YOU ARE TOO YOUNG FOR THE LA-DIES!
Besides any lady they find is going to need to have her sense of smell removed if this continues.

THE PARTY'S OVER...

In the car yesterday...

You know if Mom goes back to work I can't come to your parties anymore.

Ehh..that's okay.

It's okay now?

Yeah. It wasn't okay when I was seven, but now that I am eight it is fine.

He has been eight for less than 72 hours.

LEGACY

I am in the middle of Breaking Free by Beth Moore.
We have been talking about our generational influences.
I would like to share one of mine with you.

Today, my maternal grandparents would have been married for 71 years.

My Nanny passed away 2 years ago this month, but in his heart, my grandfather is still the husband of one feisty, Northern woman.
That is a legacy that my family can take to the godly bank.
It will serve us well.

SPRING BREAK 20-10

Nothing.
No where.
Nada.
We have not left the house in four days.
I may get adventurous and go to the local convenience store to get a pizza for lunch, but I don't know if I feel that daring.
Besides, it would require me to put on more than pajama pants and a t-shirt and I may just not be up to it.
We have cleaned house and painted.
We have worked on our jump shots and lay-ups.
We have eaten sugar-laced cereal since we don't need "smart food" for breakfast this week.
We have enjoyed every minute of it.
Hope you have, too.

HE IS

"He is your praise,

and He is your God,

who has done for you

these great and awesome things

which your eyes have seen."

Deuteronomy 10:21

NKJV

Should you wake up today

wondering if there is

anything

praise worthy in your life...

HE IS.

MONEY TALKS

MONEY TALKS

PHOTO OPS OR PHOTO OOPS?

I am in a quandary.

MC 2.

You can't fully appreciate all that he is without photos.

Yet, in taking the photos, I encourage the very behavior I am trying to correct.

An example happened today. MC 2 & I met MC 1 & HH at the grocery store. I grabbed a buggy when we went in, only to discover HH already had one and had began to fill it (NEVER a good sign, peeps, N-E-V-E-R). We were all parked by the Easter candy and MC 2 had drifted down the row a bit to scout out the stash. As I turned from my buggy to look into HH's buggy, I caught just a glimpse of my buggy moving. By the time I got around the corner, MC 2 had pulled my buggy up beside the candy, pulled down the front part and was literally standing, STANDING!, inside the buggy trying to reach the top shelf. S-T-A-N-D-I-N-G in the buggy in the middle of the store.

It was so fast I could not believe it.

Now see, a picture would have been so dramatic, but also a tad bit encouraging.

Plus - I am pretty sure the people in the store would have not been to happy.

All I can say is keep us in your prayers:0)

I MADE A SHORT LIST

* Update: It appears the vermin have heard of my wrath and are giving up without a fight. MC 2 found a dead rat in the yard. G-R-E-A-T. Totally playing the girl card on that one HH can get it. I killed the mouse.

HH is alive & well.
Mouse is dead.
I am getting pampered tonight.
Let the good times roll!

HH IS DOWN FOR THE COUNT

HH is sick. I mean really sick. The kind of sick that makes a grown man wish for his mama, out loud, not that I am saying he did that like twice or anything. A vicious version of a stomach bug. He is asleep on the couch this morning, so MC 2 is outside...somewhere...hang on I need to go check...okay MC 2 officially redirected.
So today I will continue on the book work I managed to avoid ALL day yesterday and nurse HH back to health. Which means I basically pour the Sprite and keep MC 2 outside. OOOOH that last bit ought to be fun for me:) All while trying to play pest control on the mouse that scurried across my kitchen floor this morning. I hate vermin. We have history. It ain't pretty.
Have a great Thursday.

TODAY

We have taken both boys to the dentist in the last month and both have reported cavity free. Praise the Lord! After last falls MISSION TO FUND CHRISTMAS BONUSES OF OUR LOCAL DENTISTS, I need the break. No silver teeth for us! MC 1 is having some ear troubles. Both boys have had tubes twice and adenoids out, but MC 1 has some fluid build up again. Meds and retest in 2 weeks (hearing included). Good times. I am actually going to attempt to attend a women's event at our church this weekend. Our church...sounds so strange saying it. It's not really "ours" yet, but it is no longer that church I go to on Sundays. Somewhere in between.
Today has book work in store for me. Which means I need to go. Have a blessed day!

MY MAN

My HH and I celebrated 12 years of marriage this weekend. I wanted to come up with some terribly romantic post about how blissful those 12 years have been.
But they haven't.
He has been hard to live with at times.
So have I.
I would say I have been a lot harder than he. HH is pretty laid back, nothing really upsets him too much. I can be a bit high strung and of late high drama. I mull over things for MONTHS, HH lets them go. He has had his share of stuff though.
I will share with you a conversation we had a few weeks ago. We were all in the car on the way to the store. I really don't remember how it came up but the question was raised have you ever though you could do this (life, kid raising, house maintaining, etc) better by yourself? Honestly, there have been times when that thought has crossed my mind, especially weeks when he is gone a lot, and we will leave it at that.
HH's response:
"Oh I know I couldn't do this by myself. I know I need you."
Yes, I could take it that he needs me to do his stuff, you know what, so what if he does. I also know it took great humility to admit he couldn't do it with out me, because it ain't nothing but pride that makes me think I can do it alone.
Honestly, I couldn't do it without him. He is my physical rock. Sometimes a rock that stubs my toes, sometimes a rock that blocks a path, but many times a rock I can fall safely upon and rest.
So have they been 12 blissful, just like in the movies, romance filled years?
No.
Have they been 12 good years with a man who loves God, loves me, and loves our men children?
Have they been 12 years with a man who always strives to provide for his family, who desires to give us all the very best he can?
Have they been 12 years of turning off the hot water while he showers and awaiting the retaliation?
Years of sneaking ice cubes into bed to slip into his PJ's as payback for some prank he started?
Years of watching UFC and Beth Moore, listening to him comment on which way he likes her hair better (less blonde is his recommendation)?
Yes - they have and I would not have wanted anyone else to go through them with.
Happy Anniversary HH - I love you!
(Now ya'll be sure to tell him I said so because he never reads this).

IT'S MY PARTY...

Not really. Really it was our friend Niki's party, Nikita to be exact. When I grow up I want a party like she had. That does not officially happen until I turn 40. We had prayer, we had praise dancing, we had dinner, and they had cake. The evening started with Niki sharing how the party came about. She then went around and introduced the guests, sharing why each of us were important to her and her family. Her parents led us in a welcome and a prayer. Her sisters did a beautiful and moving praise dance. Then HH's favorite part began... the FOOD. I quote,
"That pasta stuff was really good and I don't even like that kind of stuff".
Big compliment Ms. Anna's mom, H-U-G-E. After dinner, we moved to the time when we as the guests were allowed to say what Niki and her family meant to us. Niki has battled cancer for seven years. Her daughter was 18 months when she was diagnosed. Her husband has been her rock. This party was not only a celebration of the life she has lived, but of the life she has yet to live. The life she and her husband are about to live.
We had a fabulous time. We were able to fellowship with friends we had not seen in nearly a year. We were joined with a portion of the body of Christ we had never met. We had us some church at this birthday party.
I, we , were honored to be included on this night. We both sat there with great humility and in awe of Niki and Narvis. We were challenged and encouraged. We were bathed in the love of Christ.
Maybe it was my (our) party after all.

IT IS WHAT IT IS...

I have been reading a book by Elizabeth George called Loving God With All Your Mind. Much like A Call to Grace, I have had this book for a while and have started reading it several times. Now I am on the fast track. My mind is my greatest area of battle. As my friend Vivian said, my addictions and habits are mental rather than physical. So learning how to allow God to have all my mind, to surrender it all to Him is a top priority for me, and a top target my flesh.

I have spent the nearly a year lamenting about how things "were not supposed to be like this".

People were not supposed to be like this, circumstances were not supposed to be like this, my life was not supposed to go like this. Nearly a year. That is too long. While reading the section about trusting God with your past, present and future, Mrs. George took a 2x4 and hit me square upside the head with her own testimony. She, too, had been a "it's not supposed to be like this" kinda gal. That is until the Lord responded by informing her that this is the way it was and what was she going to do with it. As long as she avoided the reality of the situation, she avoided making any progress. Any solutions eluded her, any forward progress had been halted.

I can relate. I can also have hope. For once she faced the reality of the situation, acknowledged that God had been there in the past when it happened and would be there in the future to deal with what is next, she could focus on the present and dealing with it.

I think may of us face this issue in our lives. Our jobs weren't supposed to be like this. Our marriages weren't supposed to be like this. Our kids. Our families. Our churches. Our friends. The reality is, they are. They are all just like this, whatever "this" is. The question we have to answer is what are we going to do with it. Maybe you "this" is huge. Maybe it is only huge to you (like mine). Either way, our God is bigger. His love is bigger. His mercy is bigger. His grace is bigger. His truth is bigger.
So today I will pray for you and you can pray for me. That we would focus on what is true and what is real in our lives and more importantly what is true and real about our Christ (Philippians 4:8).

SPLITTING HAIRS

This post will probably cross too many lines.
You may never come back.
You may wonder how in the world HH stays married to me, but it was just too stinkin' funny not to share.
As many of you know, as we women age we start to get hair in places we don't want.
I have fallen prey to the wayward hairs myself on my face (See you are starting to run aren't you. Stick with me).
Usually the tweezers are able to remedy my issues, but there are some rebellious ones striking out on their own in a covert operation. They can only be seen in a certain light at a certain angle, but when you can see them, YOU CAN SEE THEM.
Lucky for me HH mama sells AVON, which just happens to carry some facial hair removal wax get up that should work. However I am a chicken. A blind chicken at that because I can't see them, the guerrilla hairs that is. I am most definitely not fired up about going to get a professional to do it after reading about Keri's experience.
So as I was feeling like Foo Man Choo (and I have no idea how to really spell that - you get phonics at it's best) the other night I actually said to HH,

get ready

here it comes

catch your jaw

I think you are going to have to help me wax my chin.

You should have seen his face. He was looking down at the time. He slowly looked at me in disbelief. Like I had just asked him to be my OBGYN. Complete and utter disbelief and I think a bit of horror.
IT WAS STINKIN' HILARIUS!
He declined naturally. Told me to call my friend Casey and get her to help.
I am thinking I want to keep this bit of drama "in house" and not call in reinforcements, but that is shot now.
I know there are those of you completely shocked that I would even say that to HH. I know many of you don't let your hubs see you without some form of make-up and some hair fixing. To you I apologize if you are completely mortified. Pray for me.
I am not that girl. HH sees me daily without make-up, and this is nothing new. He would be more shocked if I had make-up on.
I realize this was not the best way to keep the romance alive, and after some hindsight, I promise not to ask him to do it again.
Nope.
Never.
Not by the hair on my chinny chin chin.

YES THERE ARE TWO...

MC 1 may not get as much press time right now, but please know he has his own drama. This morning is case in point.

I walked into the bathroom to find a post-shower, birthday suit only clad MC 1 up on the sink riffling through the medicine cabinet.

What are you doing?

Getting all the stuff I need?

And what exactly is that? Did you brush your hair?

Yes, I did my hair, and I put that stuff on my chest.

What stuff? The Vicks? Why?

Because I can't breathe.

Oh, ok. Did you get your deodorant?

Yes. All I need know is my Wings for Men.

Uhmm. okay. Got get dressed.

Can I just say I don't do that much to get myself ready in the morning. That would be one of HH's apples. I did, however, provide a tutorial on HOW to put on cologne WITHOUT making the rest of the family wish they did not have any olfactory sensors at ALL! I thought I escaped some of that by having boys. Guess not.

STRIPPED CLEAN

For all the stuff MC 2 puts me through....

all the shutting oneself in the fridge

with a flashlight...

all the "fixing" the electricity

by messing with the main circuit

breaker to the house

resulting in a condescending talk

from my electric company man about

how unsafe it was to let my kid do that...

for all the peeing in the trash can because

HH was in the bathroom...

all the having very bad aim while doing so...

for all of that...

these give me hope...

painted by MC 2...

landscaped by MC 2...

because birds need flowers too.

Causing me to have a blind eye to the naked Jonquil plants in my yard.

PLEASE...

NO PICTURES