I HEARD...

that little growl inside of me.

You know the one.

The mama bear growl.

Doesn't even matter if you have kids or not.

I have heard my inner sister bear growl. Even last week, I heard a roar during a game my sister was coaching. I am glad I was late to the game because the gal might have just busted out!

I have heard my inner wife bear growl. Do not mess with HH.

My "don't be mean to that kid" bear has reared its head before.

 

This was mama bear, though.

She didn't roar, but she definitely sent out a warning growl.

Which got me to thinking,

 

How on earth am I going to keep her in check during the MCs days of competitive activities? Or dating years? Or working years? 

 

I have a feeling she is quick to bite first, which I am sure will be the one thing to do one day.

 

What about y'all?

Do you sense an inner bear?

How do you keep the inner bear, of any kind, in check?

 

Perhaps you have a funny story when she broke free?

Maybe a not so funny one we could all learn from?

 

Share you bear stories here.

get ready....shameless corny tag line.................

 

I can "bearly" wait to read them.

 

Oh y'all, I need more sleep.

 

 

ALWAYS WATCHING

The game was going poorly for our team. After winning the first two, these little fellas were in a position they had not found themselves in before.
They were losing.
Watching my own MC, I saw the frustration he had.
I understand. I get frustrated to when I find myself in a position I never intended to be in.
I also saw him slouching in his chair while sitting on the bench.
Frustrated, fine.
Slouching, not fine.
The mama/coach took over and when I made eye contact, I mouthed a very firm SIT UP.
I got some mouthed answer back, but I didn't care.
Sit up, NOW.
Even HH gave him the SIT UP glare.
He complied and the game went on. And on. It never got any better for our little guys.

Toward, the end I found myself frustrated and slouching back on the bleachers. My back had no sooner touched the wall then I heard in my head,

Model what you want him to see and do. He is watching.

I am glad to say I only had to hear it once, and we both sat up for the rest of the game.

I wonder how many times God looks at my frustrated, slouching state and quietly, yet firmly, mouths SIT UP. How many times, when I am put in a position that is not pleasant for me, a position I have not been in before and have no desire to be in again, does He give me the look that expresses SIT UP with a tone only a loving, yet corrective, father can exude.

I will do well to heed those looks. Not just for my sake, but for the sake of the MCs and others around. Slouching in defeat or sitting up in expectation, I choose what they see about this Christian faith, this man called Jesus, when I respond to my frustrations. 
They are always watching.

BREAKING EVEN YET FEELING LIKE I LOST...

After having written for A Martha Heart, I decided I needed to walk the talk Monday when it came time to clean the house. We did the obligatory day off from school lounging until mid-morning, then mama went and lost her mind with a list. I gave the boys two chores they were both responsible for and then four individual chores. Wrote them down on paper, showed it to them, enacted the "no TV till its done" rule, and then I did the most amazing thing.
I walked away.
No micromanaging.
No yelling.
Nothing.
Did they hop right to it? No.
Did it all get done in a timely manner? Yes.
Too many times I don't let them learn what & how to do. I get so caught up in IT HAS TO BE DONE that I loose the opportunity for them to struggle and strengthen their wings. Wings they will need when they leave me.
You what to know what else happened? They didn't fight. They helped each other with the individual chores and worked well on their collective chores.
It was a parenting triumph, small as it was.
How did I follow that?
With a parent fail.
After cleaning, I needed to go buy groceries so we headed to our local superstore. MC 2 pushed all the right buttons and I said all the wrong things. Right in the middle of the aisle. My saving grace was having it together enough to not yell what I said right then and there. It was one of those moments when you, okay maybe not you but me, just really need to walk away from the child. We needed to go to our corners, but there were no corners to go to.
Parenting defeat.

I don't know about you, but for me, even though the triumphant moments are great when they happen, they tend to be short lived. The failures tend to linger. Some days that just flat out pitch a tent and camp awhile in my brain.
I did apologize to MC 2 for not being nice. Explained that even though HE was not being nice I was not excused from being nice.

If you are a parent, kid, spouse, or friend who was blown it, let this little post let you know you're not alone. This chick feels ya. I have blown it in all those areas. I am here to tell you forgiveness and restoration can be found. I forgave MC 2 and he forgave me. More importantly, I can take all that sin, guilt, and shame before God's throne, and He too, is eager to forgive.
That is how we win. 
It's our choice.
Let us choose Him.

1 John 1:9 (NKJV)

 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

PASTORAL EXPECTATIONS...FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PULPIT

So you read a couple of things I expect. Now let's turn the lens on us.Well, on me.
What can my pastor expect from me?
If you are Rhonda's pastor, you can expect you will not be my sole source of spiritual growth. Yes, I expect you to challenge me and push me to dig in deeper, but all my eggs aren't in your basket. You are not responsible for the cultivation of my spiritual walk. I am. He is.
If you are Rhonda's pastor, you can expect that I am going to read the Word for myself. When you tell us to turn to chapter and verse, it will not be the first time I will have opened it that week.
Dear pastor, you can expect that if I have a question, I will come to you, but only after I have exhausted all my other options. I promise not to run to you for every little detail.
If you are Rhonda's pastor, you need to know I have an opinion, honestly, about most things. I will try my very best to use discernment in expressing them.
If you are Rhonda's pastor, you can expect that I will fail. There will be times when my mouth outruns my brain and my flesh wins out. 
My pastor should expect that I will serve somewhere.
My pastor should expect that I will grow in maturity in Lord.

Do you have any ideas about what you think pastors should expect from us?
Maybe you disagree with mine.
Maybe you don't.
Won't know if you don't talk back to me.
You choose.

I HOPE THIS GETS STUCK IN YOUR HEAD...

Whatever you have going today, may this be the cry of your heart.

A new day dawns peeps, let us choose to bless the Lord!

 

 

Bless the Lord, O my soul

O my soul

Worship His holy name

Sing like never before

O my soul

I'll worship Your holy name

The sun comes up

It's a new day dawning

It's time to sing Your song again

Whatever may pass and whatever lies before me

Let me be singing when the evening comes

Bless the Lord, O my soul

O my soul

Worship His holy name

Sing like never before

O my soul

I'll worship Your holy name

You're rich in love and You're slow to anger

Your name is great and Your heart is kind

For all Your goodness I will keep on singing

10,000 reasons for my heart to find

Bless the Lord, O my soul

O my soul

Worship his holy name

Sing like never before

O my soul

I'll worship Your holy name

And on that day when my strength is failing

The end draws near and my time has come

Still my soul will sing Your praise unending

10,000 years and then forever more

Bless the Lord, O my soul

O my soul

Worship His holy name

Sing like never before

O my soul

I'll worship Your holy name

Bless the Lord, O my soul

O my soul

Worship His holy name

Sing like never before

O my soul

I'll worship Your holy name

 (Matt Redman, 10,000 Reasons)

PASTORAL EXPECTATIONS

Bottom line- what are yours?
I grew up in small churches. There was one pastor. No associate. No worship. No children's. I was 15 before I even attended a church big enough to support a choir director. Only when I went to college do I even remember there being more than one pastor/preacher.
An upbringing like mine shapes your pastoral expectations. When there was an illness or death in the church, the pastor visited. The head honcho. Sure, members visited, took care of the food and family, but the pastor was there. When we had questions, the pastor was the one who fielded them. When someone needed counseling, the pastor handled that. He married. He buried. He baptized.
Now, I know in today's bigger churches and mega-churches, it is unreasonable to expect the pastor to handle everyone personally. I expect that my "situations" will be filtered through small group leaders.
But you know what, there is that part of me that when I call the church to talk to the senior pastor, I want to talk to the senior pastor. When I have a major issue, I expect the senior pastor to weigh in and show up.
Right? Wrong? Unreasonable?
What do you think?
I'll throw out another.
Growing up in my rural, small churches, our pastors, to the best of my knowledge wrote their own sermons. I expect that. I know in today's church culture it is very easy for pastors not to. There are some great sermons provided by bigger churches and more famous names free of charge for pastors to use. There are great pastors/authors whose books are readily available and worth the read. I understand that there are seasons in a preacher's life where he/she may feel dry. Where there is a struggle.Where they need a break. I get it and understand, but for the most part, I want him/her digging in the Word for what the Lord would say to our specific church. I want to open up the Bible and study chapters and verses, not the latest book.
Right? Wrong? Unreasonable?
What do you think?

Pastoral expectations.
Is it even right to have any?
Are you one whose only expectation is that your pastor seek the Lord and however that plays itself out is of no concern to you?
This is not a post to bash your pastor about how he/she has let you down.
It is not a post to bash other pastors who don't do church like I want to do church.
We can love Jesus, agree on the major issues, go our separate ways for the minor ones, and still be brothers and sisters in Jesus.
We can.
I am just curious as to your pastoral "mind set".
 

I WASN'T THAT PARENT...

The game came and went, with a notch in the W column. HH and I behaved ourselves. I was tempted to go at little cra-cra when it was obvious that MC 1 was embarrassed that we were even breathing. I mean, if he was going to be embarrassed, I should at least make it worth my while, right?
We have had two meals at the table this weekend, AND the table is clear for the start of the week.
Also, I made a pork tenderloin recipe from the three ring binder which passed muster with the Y chromosome bearers in my house.
See...progress in the right direction.
Christmas decorations are down, with vows and notes on how to do it better next year. Like so many of you, the holidays always seem to go by without me taking it in as much as I would like. Can anyone else relate?
The main part of the house is clean, the dishes are washed, and I have an overall plan for the week.
A pretty good way to start.
Hope you have a great week.
We can choose to.

BECAUSE WE NEED TO REMEMBER HE MEANS US...

Ephesians 2 (NKJV)

By Grace Through Faith

2 And you He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins, ² in which you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience, ³ among whom also we all once conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, just as the others.

⁴ But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, ⁵ even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), ⁶ and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, ⁷ that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. ⁸ For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, ⁹ not of works, lest anyone should boast. ¹⁰ For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.

Brought Near by His Blood

¹¹ Therefore remember that you, once Gentiles in the flesh—who are called Uncircumcision by what is called the Circumcision made in the flesh by hands— ¹² that at that time you were without Christ, being aliens from the commonwealth of Israel and strangers from the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world. ¹³ But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ.

Christ Our Peace

¹⁴ For He Himself is our peace, who has made both one, and has broken down the middle wall of separation, ¹⁵ having abolished in His flesh the enmity, that is, the law of commandments contained in ordinances, so as to create in Himself one new man from the two, thus making peace, ¹⁶ and that He might reconcile them both to God in one body through the cross, thereby putting to death the enmity. ¹⁷ And He came and preached peace to you who were afar off and to those who were near. ¹⁸ For through Him we both have access by one Spirit to the Father.

Christ Our Cornerstone

¹⁹ Now, therefore, you are no longer strangers and foreigners, but fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, ²⁰ having been built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ Himself being the chief cornerstone, ²¹ in whom the whole building, being fitted together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord, ²² in whom you also are being built together for a dwelling place of God in the Spirit.

SPOILED SLEEPERS

The MCs are what I call spoiled sleepers. As we speak, they have a lamp on, Christmas lights on, Toby Mac playing and a sound machine pretending it is raining. On their beds are their comforters, their regular pillows, their "mommy" pillows, at least 2 stuffed animals with MC 2 and one with MC 1, and most likely an extra blanket. When we travel, they try their hardest to take it all with them. They get it from HH. He sleeps with at least 2 pillows and probably more if I would let him.
I sleep with a pillow. Singular.
Are your kids that way? Do they have a ton of stuff they must have in order to sleep? What about your spouse? Does he/she travel with a noise machine? A fan? A certain pillow? What about you?

WHICH PARENT ARE YOU?

The meal "planning" was successful.
The meal "purchasing" is a different story. Actually, there is no story because I haven't even been to the store long enough to buy groceries.
The clean kitchen table, well, it's the sequel to the store story.


MC 1 woke up the day after his first practice and informed me that his whole body hurt.
Welcome to the world of athletics son.
HH and I have managed to stay out of the amateur elementary athletic ring up until now. Granted we did some time as soccer parents, but it's soccer. At this age you're just glad if your kid runs the right way and doesn't spend his time chasing his own shadow. HH is very competitive. Not at all into athletics, but if he is forced to participate, he wants to win. He already has a list of things that MC 1 needs to work on that he shared with me. I keep saying, "It's little league. It's Pee-Wee. Chill out." A good line to hold to, but I am afraid it may fall apart when it's game time. See- I love basketball. I LOVE BASKETBALL. I know basketball. I have a coach's voice. It carries well. I am a little concerned that I may lose all restraint once MC 1 hits the hardwood. And, please, heaven help me if someone hurts my baby on purpose. This mama can clear some bleachers - don't you worry. I come from a family of bench clearers and bleacher hoppers. When I was in junior high, my dad went toe-to-toe with a little league coach who screamed at me during a game (and I was just keeping the books), and my sister Casey cleared a bench when some girl hit sister Becca in the face with a ball during one of their summer league games. We. Do. Not. Play.
I almost typed "ain't nobody got time for that" just for my SIL but felt it might be in bad taste. But she'll read this and laugh so mission accomplished.
My prayer, and seriously I have been praying, is that I remain calm, encouraging, and free of foul words and sarcastic remarks for the officiating crew.
Which made me curious- what kind of bleacher parent are you?
Nice, quiet, just watching....I have heard those exist.
Are the bleacher coach?
Are you the one giving encouragement and clapping loudly at anything anyone does well?
Are you the trash talker?
Have you ever been kicked out of a game?
Received a warning from the official?
Perhaps even been T'd up?
Be honest.
No judgement here.
I reserve that right until AFTER the first game.

WELL..............

What to say....what to say. I don't really feel like you want to hear about my mini-shutdown last night. We could talk about Bama's shut down of Notre Dame, but I felt bad for the Irish, so let's not kick 'em when they are down. We could talk about the article I read that suggested you NOT use sarcasm when dealing with high school students. Which basically means I, personally, should probably never speak to them again.
Christmas decorations? Are yours still up? Ours are. Partially. The MCs wanted to leave the tree up until our neighbor kids came to visit, so today marks its last day. The rest are scattered on my kitchen floor.
I did cook last night- a chicken and dumplings-ish meal. Made the Dead Sea look like fresh water with all the salt that was in it. The MCs and HH didn't like it anyway so that recipe is a no.
I have not joined the ranks of Downton Abbey viewers. I am not sure I can convince HH it is worth his time. I have decided I want to watch all episodes of Friday Night Lights on NetFlix. Just not when the MCs are around.
MC 1 starts little league basketball this week, which is apparently a direct line to the NBA and therefore requires practice at 8:00 o'clock at night....for ELEMENTARY kids.
Okay, well, that's about all I have for today.
Have a great Tuesday!

A LITTLE REMINDER....

from Galations 3.

Have a great week!

FOOTBALL TRAINING CAMP

is what it feels like I have been running this Christmas break. With all the bowl games and NFL playoff games on TV, I have been schooling the MCs in the vernacular surrounding the pigskin. You would think HH would handle that, but no. Mainly because he doesn't care. And he doesn't know. But mostly he doesn't care. Maybe if the were camo uniforms and got to stalk their prey before they tackled people he'd be a bit more with the program. He has improved since we got married, just as I have in my knowledge of grunts, bleets, and the arts of odor removing and scent blocking.
I have explained offensive and defensive pass interference.
I have explained the difference between offsides & a false start.
We have delved into the difference between offensive linemen, tight ends, and receivers, and explored which position each MC would be best suited for.
I have explained mascots and helmet designs.
How the Florida St. Seminoles are not the same as the Washington Redskins.
I have answered a million times when the Aggies play and have debated why the BCS has to be so complicated.
I have recalled my Senior year of high school when my dad and I went to every high school football game my beloved Bobcats played.
I have remembered the 12th man and how proudly I stood.
I have envisioned my babies suited up.
I have realized I am most likely going to have to buy some form of bling to accessorize my Friday night attire.
And I am grateful.
To have the chance to train them.
To give them the memories of mama watching football with them.
To be able to relate to them where they are.
To pass on my love for the game and my Aggies.
But this is not my greatest training camp.
That one happens every minute of everyday.
May I choose to train them well.

2 Timothy 1:5

New King James Version (NKJV)

when I call to remembrance the genuine faith that is in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am persuaded is in you also.

A NOD...

You've read the posts. You know where I am right now. Kinda. What you don't know is that I have been in a bit of a drought. I mean you could probably tell by the lack of writing coming from this blog, but I didn't say it.
Now I have.
Put all that together, and picture me listening to Passion 2013 on Tuesday night.
Hearing Louie Giglio talk about how God wants to do immeasurably more. Expectations...
Following along as he reads out of Ezekiel 36 about the valley of dry bones. Drought
Scribbling down #3- that God wants to repair & restore. Desperate for that.
Acknowledging once again that, if I choose, the outcome will be the same.

There is nothing like the confirming nod of Christ Jesus to your heart and soul.
I felt it Tuesday.
Confirmation that He is the God who sees, hears, cares, and knows.
Because He is.
Like Hagar in the wilderness, I can say,

Genesis 16:13 (NKJV)

Then she called the name of the Lord who spoke to her, You-Are-the-God-Who-Sees; for she said, “Have I also here seen Him who sees me?”

 

To believe and act upon that is what

I choose.

BUT STILL...

there are some goals for the New Year I want to share with you. Maybe I should call them expectations now. Words like resolutions and pipe dreams run through my head, but I shall stand on what I said - expectations in Christ Jesus.

1. Cook
I have this huge binder full of recipes that I have never tried. My plan is to try them. Determine the good, the bad and the ugly. For this to work right, I must attain goal #2.

2. Meal planning
I started to say better meal planning, but unless deciding what type of pizza you were going to get, I just need to start. Problem is I am not good at balancing this all out. I am sure, as my mother is now so fond of saying, I can Google it or find an app for it.

3. Time management
I detest the very word. It's like oatmeal. I know it's good for me, but I just don't like it. However, it needs to happen both at home and at work. So in true Elizabeth George recommended fashion, I will become a nightly list maker.

4. Clean kitchen table
I am the worst about letting stuff pile up on our kitchen table until I "get to it". Trouble is my "get to it" doesn't usually kick in until the stuff is falling off the table because it is stacked so high. Ask HH. He'll be glad to tell you. Goal is to keep it cleaned off and have at least 2 meals a week around it.

5. Social media
I think I can do it better. I am not really sure how that is going to look. Maybe it means posting less and being present more. Maybe filtering my tweets and posts through a different lens. I just don't know, but I know I can do it better.

Okay, so there are mine. Now it's your turn. What are your goals & expectations for the new year that you are willing to share.
May we be an encouragement to each other in both stumbles and the successes.

1 Thessalonians 5:11(NKJV)

Therefore comfort each other and edify one another, just as you also are doing.

WHAT IS THE LOWEST YOU ARE WILLING TO SETTLE FOR?

Of course, like any good Aggie I watched the Heisman presentation a few weeks ago. Oh, let's just be honest, I have it on my DVR list and have watched it in its entirety at least one other time. When thinking about the upcoming year and my aspirations, the discussion Collin Klein had about goal setting has been on my mind. I won't get it word for word, but I'll get close. Klein said that one year (maybe junior high or early high school) a coach had them set goals. The coach had them start at the lowest they were willing to accept for, and I guess from, themselves and then go up from there.
While thinking about what I wanted in 2013- to accomplish, to see finished, to see progress in- I have really been thinking about what are my expectations.
Are they low?
We'll never....
I'll never...
I doubt it will happen for us...
This will always be an issue...
Am I okay with those kinds of thoughts?
This year, I hope not.
I need to expect better.
I need to act on those expectations.
Expectations not based on who I am or what I can do in the flesh, but on who I am and what I can do in Christ Jesus.
Expectations based on Who He is.
What He has done.
What He is doing.
What He will do.
My low expectations reflect a faith built around me and not Him.
With Jesus, I can expect better.
Maybe not easier, but better.
Why?
Because a life submitted to Him is better than anything else I could expect.
A life submitted to Him, He is in charge of.
He has His own expectations, which blow mine out of the water.
So I will.
I will choose to.
What about you?
Where do your expectations for 2013 fall?
Let us both base them on Christ Jesus and watch Him move!

HaPpY NeW YeAr!!!

 

Isaiah 64:4 (NKJV)

For since the beginning of the world
Men have not heard nor perceived by the ear,
Nor has the eye seen any God besides You,
Who acts for the one who waits for Him.