See this group of gals?

Varying shapes and sizes?

Would you have ever guessed that that ALL have body image issues?

The overweight one... the one who just had a baby... the thinnest of them...the coach among them.

Each and everyone of them has body image issues.

Why?

Can't say.

Believe it or not they actually all come from a mama who always thinks she looks good.

Not arrogant, just confident.

I can't tell you how many times I have seen her in the mirror say to herself,

"Yeah....you look good".

She has other issues though.

The point...insecurity is common to anyone with XX.

Body image is a common insecurity.

Parenting.

Being a wife.

Our jobs.

Our callings.

Guess what else I found out over the weekend?

Insecurity is common among the XY crowd as well.

So much so that HH and I spent an hour talking about it.

Like, really talking about.

Insecurity freezes us up.

It locks us in place.

Jesus Christ set us free.

The Lord gives His people strength:

the Lord grants His people security.

Psalm 29:11

So what started out as a picture of girls with insecurities is

now a picture of women becoming secure.

And I think they are beautiful!

CALLING THEM OUT!

FIRST- HAPPY BIRTHDAY SISTER #2
WAIT....MY GOODNESS...ARE YOU 30?
NO....31!

Confession means coming to the point of saying the same thing God says about any specific matter.
Breaking Free - Beth Moore

I am well into week 9 of Breaking Free. Excited to have it nearly done, afraid to go on and not be changed.
When I read this yesterday morning, it hit me.
Hard.
I can not honestly say that all the times I have repented of my sin it was because I saw it as God saw it.
Almost like I have said to Him,
I am sorry that this hurt You, but not really sorry that I did it.
I am sorry that this hurt another, but I don't take it back.
Truth be told I would probably do it all over again.
I was really challenged to not only see my sin as God sees it, but
to say about it what He says about it.
And not just the "big" sins.
The "little" ones to.
To really call them out as He does.
Even the ones that don't technically hurt anyone else.
Even the ones that deal with my money, my eating, my discipline.
To not just be "sorry" but to call them the sin that they are.
To hold them up to the truth of the Word of God and let them be shown in full light.
And then to speak God's word to what I see.
As hard as it may be to speak what God says about my sins, and
although it may hurt beyond anything I can bear, there is hope.
Because just as soon as God calls my sin out, He says this:
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
1 John 1:9 (NKJV)
And that sisters, deserve some praise!

MY GRANDBABIES

I would love to say every night, but that would be a lie. Often enough when I pray with the boys at night I include their wives in the prayer. That God would watch over them and protect them. Give them godly parents who love Jesus. That both MCs and their wives would remain pure until the day of their wedding. The MCs have no clue what that is about, but He knows what I mean. So much so, last night I prayed for MC 1 and his wife, and when I prayed for MC 2 I forgot his. When I finished he asked in the sweetest little preschooler voice, "What about my vivfe (wife)?"

Fear not, we covered her in prayer real quick.

Even though we talk about their future wives I was a little surprised when MC 1 brought home this picture.

It is a drawing of MC 1 (orange line for hair) and his wife (girl on the top level) and their two kids, a boy and a girl. I have a couple of observations (some distressing) about this drawing:

1. Notice the perfectly curled hair on both mother and daughter. It flips so nicely.

2. The boy must be adopted or there is a genotype that needs some serious examination.

3. Why are there no stairs to the second level?

4. Look at the size of that chair and TV. MC 1 is just an apple - that's all I am sayin'.

5. Finally, why is my son letting my granddaughter play in the fire unsupervised? Or perhaps he is paying for his raising? No - that would be MC 2. So why is my son letting my grandbaby play in that fire?

I am totally keeping this picture for that special day. We will see how it matches up. I am just glad our family hasn't messed him up so bad he doesn't want one of his own, know what I mean?

SIS

The sisters and I descended

upon baby sister's house for this:

This is our host Charlie

because our hostess had the gall

to be somewhere else when we arrived.

I would not be incorrect in saying

one or five calls to his wife may

have been made in a vain attempt

to be rescued from us.

The aunt's have arrived.

Which is good for us because we got to see her...

and him....

who after the 20th or so picture

felt the charm of "the aunts" had worn

off and just wanted his mommy.

Sorry for the poor quality of these pics,

but I thought these banners were so very awesome.

The ladies of Grace Bible really did an outstanding job.

We all told baby sis to get her rear end up there this summer

and join up with this group of ladies.

Besides, how could you not love someone

who provided this for lunch....

* I can't explain why the spacing doubled half way through. Just think of it as blogspots way of keeping you from being bored. Grrrr.....*

A HOUSE DEVOURED...

I, like some 300,000 other women across this nation, attended the Beth Moore So Long Insecurity Simulcast. I had the joy of attending with all three of my sisters, compliments of me madre. We will get to that tomorrow.
Today, I am recovering from the fallout of leaving three men children (some grown) at home by themselves. My fridge and I need a day. Or maybe two.
Upon returning to my abode (and mind you I was gone for less than 24 hours) I discovered the following:
1. 1 entire package of grated cheese devoured.
2. Over 2/3 of a package of lunch meat (intended for MC 1 this week ) gone.
3. 8 hamburgers buns (4 of which were planned for a meal later in the week) MIA.
4. Peanut Butter stash obliterated.
5. Chips (for lunch as well) destroyed.
6. The front of MC 2 dresser drawer leaning up against the wall ( and I quote "Yeah, I am not really sure how that happened. They were just getting some clothes").
7. The clean house I left on Friday downgraded to a frat house after a theme party (minus the beer cans).
So as my men children eat grape jelly (whose survival I am sure was solely based upon the fact that it had a safety seal for it was out in the cabinet as well) and bread sandwiches this week I pray it is a lesson learned.
However, I am going to guess that teenage boys aren't much better. The lesson learned is probably going to be for me. How to leave the house and hide the food. Yes, that is what I need to do.
Hope you have a great Monday.
Tomorrow...the arrival of the AUNTS!

Luke 12:28-30

If then God so clothes the grass,

which today is in the field

and tomorrow is thrown into the oven,

how much more will He clothe you,

O you of little faith?

And do not seek what you should eat or drink,

nor have an anxious mind.

For all these things the nations of the world seek after,

and your Father knows you need these things.

NKJV

WELL...

HH hurt his back.
Bad.
So bad that he spent Tuesday and Wednesday at home with myself and MC 2.
He is on the mend, but still in some pain.
Having said that, then you with husbands know that my week did not go as planned.
However, I am not sure there ever was a real plan, but had there been one, his injury would have set it back.
Tuesday night was a rough one. HH self-medicated. I don't know and I didn't ask how. I just checked for a pulse and breathing. His "meds" made him not sleepy, so we stayed up past 11. Finally I said night night only to be awoken at 2am by MC 1 having a bad dream. He saw slug in the kitchen and it triggered a nightmare about an army of slugs getting on him. Gross, I know. So off to the mattress I go. He finally went back to sleep but appeared to tag MC 2 so he could now be it. Up at 3am with tummy ache and spent 2 hours sleeping on the bathroom floor. No other actual symptoms, but with him you can never be to sure. I got 4 days worth of scripture reading done so that was a plus. All are well now and mommy almost got a full night of rest.
This weekend the sisters and I are seeing, as HH referred to he last night, "that woman they like to listen to." That would be Beth Moore. I am sure she has never been paid such a high compliment. We will have some girl time and probably make Chuckie wish he had gone away for the weekend.
So, I hope you have a great day. Pray you blessed, that you have eyes to see it and ears to hear it, and that you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that your God, my God, our God loves you.

I LOVE YOU BUT STOP TOUCHING ME!

The men children have slept together since we moved back in after the fire. When they were smaller it was fine. In the past few months, as they have grown, things were not going so well. MC 2 needs to touch - your face, your feet, your head - with his feet. MC 1 CAN NOT STAND TO BE TOUCHED. Especially his feet. So this is their new arrangement.

We tried them with one on the bed and one on the couch, but they missed each other. MC 1 claims the couch, MC 2 roams all over the mattress. *Note - this is not the position or the end he started on. They don't want to be touching, but they don't want to be apart. They want to know the other one is close if need be, but not too close. We thought about bunk beds, but then there was ... you know...MC 2, so we decided to pass on those. Which was probably a good call since I walked past their room in time to hear MC 1 tell MC 2 "Why? You won't die." Looked in to catch them with above mattress standing up tall and appearing to prepare themselves to ride it down. Yep - good no-go on the bunk beds. So for now, this works. They are happy. They read to each other, tattoo each other, argue, giggle loudly, pretty much act like brothers. As much as it drives me crazy, I know they need that. They need to bond. They need to disagree. They need to love.

I gotta think that's how Christ sees us sometimes. As brothers and sisters, we need to bond. As brothers and sisters, we need to disagree. As brothers and sisters, we need to love. It is what draws us in. It is what challenges us and solidifies our faith. It is what picks us up when we are down.

I am going to be real honest right now...I am struggling with "church". It has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with the church we go to and EVERYTHING to do with me. Because honestly, it would not matter which church I went to. It is stuff in me that needs working out. Right now, I don't want church touching me too much, but I love the church so I want to know it is there close by. How messed up is that? The church and I are sleeping in the same room - one on the couch and one on the floor. Not sure who is where. Pretty sure I need to hit the floor. As much of a struggle it is right now, I know I need the church. Just like my men children need each other. I know I love the church. I know the church will help solidify me in my faith. I know the church is what will encourage me and pick me up.

So what's a girl to do? She is to keep going. She is to lay her heart before the Lord and ask Him to heal the broken pieces that are protruding out. The pieces that cut not only her but those around her if she is not careful. She is to love the church even when she doesn't "feel" it. She is to choose.

"Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching."

Hebrews 10:25 (KJV)

LITERALLY

I laid in bed and said to myself,

It is not true or real.

It is not true or real.

Over and over in my head.

Thank you Elizabeth George.

MC 2 is allowed to play outside with me checking him every 30 sec. or so.

Yesterday I got distracted and missed my appointed check time.

When I did check, I looked out my drive to see a van parked at the end of my gate, and MC 2 walking back.

What are you doing?

I was talking to her.

You were what?

I was talking to her.

YOU DO NOT talk to strangers!

The entire time the van never moves and the person in the van never moves.

DO NOT talk to strangers. They could hurt you.

She didn't.

DO NOT TALK TO STRANGERS.

I had made my way to the gate, and the person emerged.

Turned out to be a census worker.

She complimented on how pretty MC 2 was and how well mannered.

She asked a few questions and went on her way.

She had census stuff on her car and id badge, so I am pretty sure she was who she said she was.

MC 2 had a long discussion about strangers hurting you.

About being polite in the store when mama is with you versus going out on you own.

And then I called HH and demanded a chain, a harness and a stake in the yard to hook MC 2 to.

Then I laid in bed and recalled all the kidnapping movies I had seen and pictured my kid in it.

Then I said over and over,

It is not true.

It is not real.

The truth was Christ protected my kid.

Which is a good thing because apparently I can't.

Perhaps I should have prayed,

Be cowardly and shy

instead of be strong and courageous.

But I don't really want him to be cowardly and shy.

I want his courage and strength to be used for the Lord.

With that he will do things his mama never would have dreamed of.

So if God is going to take advantage of that,

He is going to have help me out.

Which He does.

Literally.

OVER THERE

NOTHING

HIGHLIGHTS, AND NOT THE BLONDE KIND

Mundane, but true, these are some of the highlights of my week:

1. Figured out that the pointy end of the spatula can be used to get all the stuff out of the measuring cup. I have a vague recollection of this information somewhere in my head...

2. Made PW's White Chicken Enchiladas. HH loved them. Ok, maybe he just really liked them. Now I have a carton of heavy whipping cream that I need to do something with.

3. Made Rachel Ray's Black Bean Burrito Burgers. Different but good.

4. Rescued Bella from the top of our previous water heater that is 4 feet tall. Apparently in her weakened condition she was able to leap a tall building in a single bound and get up there herself. Or so says MC 2.

5. Got caught up on laundry.

And for the higher highlights

6. Was witness to the Lord God rebuking the devourer for my sake and sat in awe while it happened.

7. Got to meet some ladies from the church we have been going to.

I am too tired today to link all the sites, so Google Pioneer Woman and Rachel Ray to get the recipes.

Hope you have a great weekend!

...AND PUPPY DOG TAILS, THAT'S WHAT LITTLE BOYS ARE MADE OF

Bella is recovering from her Parvo nicely. She is wagging that tail and tried to chew my foot today...all puppy. Which will be cute until she is at 100 lbs. Then not so much.
MC 1 had an audiological screening today.
He passed.
So he can no longer say "I didn't hear you."
While returning him to school and locating his class, I stepped back into the hall just in time to see a little MC 2 hand, fingers ready, inching up toward the pretty red box on the wall that has a pull switch. AKA THE FIRE ALARM!
Stern words nipped that in the bud.
And to think I am going to send him to school in a few short months.
Lord, please be with his teacher. Prepare her heart NOW! She needs all the head start she can get. Or he. A guy might be good for him. Hhhmmmm.
Appears Buddy is afraid of gunshots.
Some went off in the neighborhood. I saw MC 2 come from outside, but missed the yellow golden retriever with him. Next thing I know I see both dog and man child walking through our hall. I tried to call him out, Buddy, not MC 2. He wasn't falling for it.
Then I tried to drag him out by his collar that his OWNERS have apparently put on him. He back pedaled and the collar came right off. End result I had to use the rope MC 2 got when he went to the tractor show with Audie and Grandpa, lasso the dog and drag, D-R-A-G him people, drag him out and literally put my body on him to get him out the door.
So good times here in I choose land. Good times:)

DO YOU REALLY?

The chorus said something about
I live to glorify Your name
and I had to stop singing.
I have sung that song a million times.
Yesterday, it stopped me in my tracks.
As soon as I said it, the Holy Spirit asked.
Do you really?
Or do you live to have your own name glorified for Me?
Dead silence.
Then I sat down, got out my spiral and started writing so I would not soon forget.
Am I willing to be the last so His name will be first?
Am I willing to serve (and not just when it looks good) so He is glorified?
Am I willing to be passed over so He is lifted up?
Am I willing to be overlooked so He is brought glory?
Am I willing to be support staff, on the bench, the B team, so He is glorified?
My heart desperately wants to say yes.
My flesh desperately wants to be first.
It wants to be recognized.
It wants to happen what people said would happen.
But what if someone else getting to do what I want to do brings more glory to God than I could?
What about that?
Am I willing to bow out?
Am I willing to hold my peace?
Am I willing to take my hurt feelings or disappointments before the Lord and leave them there?
Not take them before anyone else.
I think that is a decision I will make one choice at a time.
One opportunity at a time.
One day at a time.
But I can tell you this-
I am now aware.
And in that awareness,
I still get to choose.

PERSPECTIVE

I was going to write a post with this same title, but then I read Robyn's this morning, and she basically said what I would have said. So go read hers:) And let her know that you did.

PARVO

Bella has parvo. She is doing well this morning. Still up and going. Fingers crossed and prayers up. The men children will be upset if she dies. Being the realist (or pessimist) I am I felt they needed to know that was a real possibility.
So now I feed and water (meaning I give her baby food and Gatorade) 3x a day. I clean up her poo and change her bed linings.
Seems like I have done this before and thought those years were behind me.
The nevers are still strong, especially after the vet trip yesterday.
It is the struggle between being an arrogant brat saying " You are God! Help me out here! and trying to remember He is God and going to him in humility and asking for help.
Sometimes the fleshy one wins.
Then she repents and the humble returns.
Hope you guys have an awesome day.
You pray for me and I'll pray for you.
Just tell me how.

FEELING LIKE MICK JAGGER IN NEVERLAND

and not because I have an awesome set of pouty lips and fit into some tight leather pants.
Not yet anyway.
I found myself very dissatisfied yesterday.
Dissatisfied with my house.
Dissatisfied with our state of affairs.
Dissatisfied with my lot in life right now.
I am not sure exactly why.
I think it was because the day just did not go like I wanted.
Or maybe because those "sacrifices" that were going to have to be made hit something I wanted badly.
That dissatisfaction turned into a bad case of the "nevers".
I will never get the remodeling done that I started.
We are never going to get ahead financially, not even just one step.
I am never going to write any bible study worth reading.
I will never do anything for the Lord in ministry.
My house will never be clean again.
I am never going to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
N-E-V-E-R.
I did catch myself yesterday in the midst of it.
Which is good because at least I recognized what it was.
I wish I could say I woke up this morning and all was perky and happy.
It wasn't.
The "nevers" are still lurking in the back of my mind.
They are weighing a bit on my heart.
Never seems so final.
So permanent.
Today I am going to fight fire with fire.
As the "nevers" try to keep me preoccupied and downtrodden.
As they try to get me to do some belly button gazing today,
I will come back with this....

"Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have.

For He Himself has said 'I will never leave you nor forsake you'."

Hebrews 13:5 (NKJV)

That is a good "never" to hang on to.

SKILLET AND A BLUE DOG

Sister fussed for no post yesterday but I was coming off a serious sugar rush I do believe. Having given up desserts for Lent (because yes this once Methodist now non-dom girl has observed that portion of Lent since she was a kid) the two Cadbury eggs I had apparently did me in. Or the bunny cake. Or maybe it was the peanut butter cups. Needless to say it was 5 or so before I could even pick my head up respectably.
This weekend was jammed pack. Friday night we took the men children to their first concert - Toby Mac and Skillet- because we wanna go big time (sorry too much Big Time Rush). HH is a HUGE fan of Skillet. MC 2 and I are bigger fans of Toby Mac, and MC 1 just had to come along. Skillet was insanely loud but really good. Thank goodness for the random strangers behind us who had extra sets of ear plugs. Skillet had fire and fireworks and stages that elevated. HH was so happy. MC 2 just kept asking when Toby Mac was coming.
Then he did. I would love to show you pics but I was too busy holding onto to MC 2. He does like to wander. I wish you could have seen the delight when TM sang " Whatever I need to be I'll be for you". MC 2 sang right along. He cried when we left at 10:15, even though he could hardly stand up. PLUS.... My bloggie bestie Keri and Nathan were there! How awesome was that. We did not even know we were both going until that night! God is good.
Saturday required HH to work and the men children and I to visit the local Wal-Mart. It has been a long time since I took both boys grocery shopping and Saturday reminded me why. I really have not gotten so many "Bless your heart" looks in a long time. So after 2 hours worth of "CUT IT OUTS" we were ready to take our two buggies to the house. However, in the parking lot, MC 1's driving skills were lacking and we toppled one buggy right straight to the ground. After confirming he was okay, he-manning the buggy back up and gathering my wares, to home we went.
HH called on the way and I heard strange yipping in the background. Ladies and gentlemen I present to you Bella....






Bella is trying to survive MC 2. We thought yesterday she was getting sick (which just as a side note sent my flesh to a really not nice, rhymes with stitchy place) but it appears she just had too much MC 2. I mean a dog can only take so much being picked up by her neck and her front two feet. So today I am on dog patrol.
Sunday was a great day of faith and fellowship and family. Church, dinner at my mom's, egg hunt, mad dash home, dinner with HH's side at my house, Susan's rolls, peach cobbler, R-O-L-L-S! Egg hunt and then sugar rushes.
All in all a very good, very busy weekend.
We are blessed, yes we are.

TODAY

But He was wounded for our transgressions,

He was bruised for our iniquities;

The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,

And by His stripes we are healed.

Isaiah 53:5

NKJV

I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN

Nephew 1 are you good at taking pictures?

Yes, sure.

Can you take picutres of MC 1 opening presents for me?

Yep.

Imagine my surprise....

when I found these.