I HEARD...

that little growl inside of me.

You know the one.

The mama bear growl.

Doesn't even matter if you have kids or not.

I have heard my inner sister bear growl. Even last week, I heard a roar during a game my sister was coaching. I am glad I was late to the game because the gal might have just busted out!

I have heard my inner wife bear growl. Do not mess with HH.

My "don't be mean to that kid" bear has reared its head before.

 

This was mama bear, though.

She didn't roar, but she definitely sent out a warning growl.

Which got me to thinking,

 

How on earth am I going to keep her in check during the MCs days of competitive activities? Or dating years? Or working years? 

 

I have a feeling she is quick to bite first, which I am sure will be the one thing to do one day.

 

What about y'all?

Do you sense an inner bear?

How do you keep the inner bear, of any kind, in check?

 

Perhaps you have a funny story when she broke free?

Maybe a not so funny one we could all learn from?

 

Share you bear stories here.

get ready....shameless corny tag line.................

 

I can "bearly" wait to read them.

 

Oh y'all, I need more sleep.

 

 

ALWAYS WATCHING

The game was going poorly for our team. After winning the first two, these little fellas were in a position they had not found themselves in before.
They were losing.
Watching my own MC, I saw the frustration he had.
I understand. I get frustrated to when I find myself in a position I never intended to be in.
I also saw him slouching in his chair while sitting on the bench.
Frustrated, fine.
Slouching, not fine.
The mama/coach took over and when I made eye contact, I mouthed a very firm SIT UP.
I got some mouthed answer back, but I didn't care.
Sit up, NOW.
Even HH gave him the SIT UP glare.
He complied and the game went on. And on. It never got any better for our little guys.

Toward, the end I found myself frustrated and slouching back on the bleachers. My back had no sooner touched the wall then I heard in my head,

Model what you want him to see and do. He is watching.

I am glad to say I only had to hear it once, and we both sat up for the rest of the game.

I wonder how many times God looks at my frustrated, slouching state and quietly, yet firmly, mouths SIT UP. How many times, when I am put in a position that is not pleasant for me, a position I have not been in before and have no desire to be in again, does He give me the look that expresses SIT UP with a tone only a loving, yet corrective, father can exude.

I will do well to heed those looks. Not just for my sake, but for the sake of the MCs and others around. Slouching in defeat or sitting up in expectation, I choose what they see about this Christian faith, this man called Jesus, when I respond to my frustrations. 
They are always watching.

BREAKING EVEN YET FEELING LIKE I LOST...

After having written for A Martha Heart, I decided I needed to walk the talk Monday when it came time to clean the house. We did the obligatory day off from school lounging until mid-morning, then mama went and lost her mind with a list. I gave the boys two chores they were both responsible for and then four individual chores. Wrote them down on paper, showed it to them, enacted the "no TV till its done" rule, and then I did the most amazing thing.
I walked away.
No micromanaging.
No yelling.
Nothing.
Did they hop right to it? No.
Did it all get done in a timely manner? Yes.
Too many times I don't let them learn what & how to do. I get so caught up in IT HAS TO BE DONE that I loose the opportunity for them to struggle and strengthen their wings. Wings they will need when they leave me.
You what to know what else happened? They didn't fight. They helped each other with the individual chores and worked well on their collective chores.
It was a parenting triumph, small as it was.
How did I follow that?
With a parent fail.
After cleaning, I needed to go buy groceries so we headed to our local superstore. MC 2 pushed all the right buttons and I said all the wrong things. Right in the middle of the aisle. My saving grace was having it together enough to not yell what I said right then and there. It was one of those moments when you, okay maybe not you but me, just really need to walk away from the child. We needed to go to our corners, but there were no corners to go to.
Parenting defeat.

I don't know about you, but for me, even though the triumphant moments are great when they happen, they tend to be short lived. The failures tend to linger. Some days that just flat out pitch a tent and camp awhile in my brain.
I did apologize to MC 2 for not being nice. Explained that even though HE was not being nice I was not excused from being nice.

If you are a parent, kid, spouse, or friend who was blown it, let this little post let you know you're not alone. This chick feels ya. I have blown it in all those areas. I am here to tell you forgiveness and restoration can be found. I forgave MC 2 and he forgave me. More importantly, I can take all that sin, guilt, and shame before God's throne, and He too, is eager to forgive.
That is how we win. 
It's our choice.
Let us choose Him.

1 John 1:9 (NKJV)

 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

PASTORAL EXPECTATIONS...FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PULPIT

So you read a couple of things I expect. Now let's turn the lens on us.Well, on me.
What can my pastor expect from me?
If you are Rhonda's pastor, you can expect you will not be my sole source of spiritual growth. Yes, I expect you to challenge me and push me to dig in deeper, but all my eggs aren't in your basket. You are not responsible for the cultivation of my spiritual walk. I am. He is.
If you are Rhonda's pastor, you can expect that I am going to read the Word for myself. When you tell us to turn to chapter and verse, it will not be the first time I will have opened it that week.
Dear pastor, you can expect that if I have a question, I will come to you, but only after I have exhausted all my other options. I promise not to run to you for every little detail.
If you are Rhonda's pastor, you need to know I have an opinion, honestly, about most things. I will try my very best to use discernment in expressing them.
If you are Rhonda's pastor, you can expect that I will fail. There will be times when my mouth outruns my brain and my flesh wins out. 
My pastor should expect that I will serve somewhere.
My pastor should expect that I will grow in maturity in Lord.

Do you have any ideas about what you think pastors should expect from us?
Maybe you disagree with mine.
Maybe you don't.
Won't know if you don't talk back to me.
You choose.

I HOPE THIS GETS STUCK IN YOUR HEAD...

Whatever you have going today, may this be the cry of your heart.

A new day dawns peeps, let us choose to bless the Lord!

 

 

Bless the Lord, O my soul

O my soul

Worship His holy name

Sing like never before

O my soul

I'll worship Your holy name

The sun comes up

It's a new day dawning

It's time to sing Your song again

Whatever may pass and whatever lies before me

Let me be singing when the evening comes

Bless the Lord, O my soul

O my soul

Worship His holy name

Sing like never before

O my soul

I'll worship Your holy name

You're rich in love and You're slow to anger

Your name is great and Your heart is kind

For all Your goodness I will keep on singing

10,000 reasons for my heart to find

Bless the Lord, O my soul

O my soul

Worship his holy name

Sing like never before

O my soul

I'll worship Your holy name

And on that day when my strength is failing

The end draws near and my time has come

Still my soul will sing Your praise unending

10,000 years and then forever more

Bless the Lord, O my soul

O my soul

Worship His holy name

Sing like never before

O my soul

I'll worship Your holy name

Bless the Lord, O my soul

O my soul

Worship His holy name

Sing like never before

O my soul

I'll worship Your holy name

 (Matt Redman, 10,000 Reasons)

PASTORAL EXPECTATIONS

Bottom line- what are yours?
I grew up in small churches. There was one pastor. No associate. No worship. No children's. I was 15 before I even attended a church big enough to support a choir director. Only when I went to college do I even remember there being more than one pastor/preacher.
An upbringing like mine shapes your pastoral expectations. When there was an illness or death in the church, the pastor visited. The head honcho. Sure, members visited, took care of the food and family, but the pastor was there. When we had questions, the pastor was the one who fielded them. When someone needed counseling, the pastor handled that. He married. He buried. He baptized.
Now, I know in today's bigger churches and mega-churches, it is unreasonable to expect the pastor to handle everyone personally. I expect that my "situations" will be filtered through small group leaders.
But you know what, there is that part of me that when I call the church to talk to the senior pastor, I want to talk to the senior pastor. When I have a major issue, I expect the senior pastor to weigh in and show up.
Right? Wrong? Unreasonable?
What do you think?
I'll throw out another.
Growing up in my rural, small churches, our pastors, to the best of my knowledge wrote their own sermons. I expect that. I know in today's church culture it is very easy for pastors not to. There are some great sermons provided by bigger churches and more famous names free of charge for pastors to use. There are great pastors/authors whose books are readily available and worth the read. I understand that there are seasons in a preacher's life where he/she may feel dry. Where there is a struggle.Where they need a break. I get it and understand, but for the most part, I want him/her digging in the Word for what the Lord would say to our specific church. I want to open up the Bible and study chapters and verses, not the latest book.
Right? Wrong? Unreasonable?
What do you think?

Pastoral expectations.
Is it even right to have any?
Are you one whose only expectation is that your pastor seek the Lord and however that plays itself out is of no concern to you?
This is not a post to bash your pastor about how he/she has let you down.
It is not a post to bash other pastors who don't do church like I want to do church.
We can love Jesus, agree on the major issues, go our separate ways for the minor ones, and still be brothers and sisters in Jesus.
We can.
I am just curious as to your pastoral "mind set".
 

I WASN'T THAT PARENT...

The game came and went, with a notch in the W column. HH and I behaved ourselves. I was tempted to go at little cra-cra when it was obvious that MC 1 was embarrassed that we were even breathing. I mean, if he was going to be embarrassed, I should at least make it worth my while, right?
We have had two meals at the table this weekend, AND the table is clear for the start of the week.
Also, I made a pork tenderloin recipe from the three ring binder which passed muster with the Y chromosome bearers in my house.
See...progress in the right direction.
Christmas decorations are down, with vows and notes on how to do it better next year. Like so many of you, the holidays always seem to go by without me taking it in as much as I would like. Can anyone else relate?
The main part of the house is clean, the dishes are washed, and I have an overall plan for the week.
A pretty good way to start.
Hope you have a great week.
We can choose to.