IF I HAD A LIFE SONG.....

Most my life I've been doing my best to 

Try and hide anything less than perfect 

I covered up all my scars 

I gotta make them think I’ve got it together 

Make believe nobody ever has to see 

What I keep in the dark 

Truth is, I was wrong 

That’s the part that you have wanted all along 

We are, we are, we are the broken 

But we are, we are, we are the chosen 

So come on shine, shine, shine 

Your beautiful light 

Through the cracks inside our hearts tonight 

‘Cause we are, we are, we are the broken 

Coast is clear we got nothing to hide 

All are welcome here 

Step into the light 

Where there’s no more fear 

Can you hear the freedom song our souls are singing 

Come just as you are 

Take those walls around you and tear ‘em all apart 

We are the weak, the wrong, the too far gone 

We are the outcasts, yeah, but today we belong 

We are the lost, the found, the been knocked down 

But we got back up and now we are the city on a hill 

Is filled with stained glass hearts, but we come as we are 

We come as we are 

And we shine like stars, shine like stars 

We come as we are and we shine like stars

(We Are The Broken lyrics by Matthew West)

GROWING THEM SMALL....

Our kids go to public school. They hear, and see, things I wish they didn't. Things other kids innocently share. Like this past week, when MC 2 told me about his little friend whose parents are divorced because, "his dad loves another girl". How heartbreaking for a little boy to be carrying that around. 
We, as parents, have the option to either brush things like that under the carpet or address them with a biblical world view. In this instance, we talked about how sad that was, how that is not what God intended for marriage, what God does intend for marriage, and how can we help our friend. Prayerfully, talking about these things innocently shared will pave the way for conversations when the topics are much more weighty.
My kids don't live in a bubble. The real world gets in their space at times. 
Guess what? Try as you may, you kids don't either. Regardless where they go to school, or how involved we are as parents, our childrens' lives are filled with people who make mistakes. People who make choices we don't agree with. People who don't parent like we would parent. People who don't esteem Jesus as we hope all would. Then, there is us, and as parents, we make plenty of mistakes. We don't esteem Christ as we would want. We make decisions on Monday that don't align with what we confirmed on Sunday. 
Day in and day out, our kids are interacting with sinful flesh and bone people, who don't always get it right.
What are we to do?
I hope to encourage you to address those situations as they come along. Not pointing fingers at those who stumble, including ourselves, but pointing our kids to Jesus. Teaching them that Jesus has a better way. Teaching them that they, too, will fall, and if they will let Him, Jesus will pick them up. Just like He does us.

According to MC 2, the little boy felt powerless. He could do nothing to stop this from happening. MC 2 told him, "You could pray about it."

A bud bursting forth in a little man child's heart scattering some seed in another little man child. 


Yes, Lord, yes.  Not to brag on our parenting, because this same MC had to apologize to his best little friend last week for calling him a not nice word, but to point to Your faithfulness. To be the Gardner who grows the little seeds of faith we have thrown out to our kids. We may never know the full impact of what our kids see and hear, but rest assured they are watching. Lord help us to point their eyes and their hearts toward You.

INVISIBLE

I wasn't really sure how to start this post, but about a week ago, a lunch table discussion gave me the perfect word....invisible.

Have you ever felt invisible? Our lunch table discussion brought up examples like being the only childless woman at a baby shower or being the little older, still single gal at the bridal showers. Some mentioned feeling that even at church not a soul would notice if they were there or not. Even in your own family, feeling as if no one sees what you do or what you deal with. 

Invisible. 

Can I tell you I had myself a good old fit about this a couple of weeks ago? Let me back up and say this- there are times when I fight off the little waves of attack when I feel I am not seen and then there are my two year-old tantrums where I want to take my toys and hide just to see if anyone will miss me. Just to dare them not too! This was one of those fits.

My family doesn't care....

My friends don't care....

I could miss church for months and no one would even notice....

No one checks in one me....

No one is concerned about me....

As one of my students drew on his notes the other day,

blah.....blah....blah....

Note to you: please don't send me messages or call me telling me you do care out of guilt. I know those of you who do, well, you really do. The rational me knows this, but this particular week, the emotional, insecure me was driving the bus.

So, in the middle of my self-imposed, and escalating tantrum, I made a decision. 

I was responding to no one for a week.

No calls.

No texts.

No Facebook discussions.

No tweets.

I would speak only when directly spoken to.

In my mind, they didn't care and I was about to prove it. 

And prove it I did.

I proved that I was not the center of their universe.

I proved that the world still went around with out my two cents worth.

I proved I could isolate myself quit nicely if I wanted to.

I proved I could be a mighty good cave dweller.

Want to know what the funny thing about that cave was, though? I wasn't alone. 

HH was there, and it seems I hadn't been talking to him in a while. The week of no calls to anyone on the outside left me time to talk to him.

And Him. Yes, I hadn't been talking, or listening, to Him very well either.   

Seems I had been treating them both as if they were invisible.

Truth is, you and I are not invisible. We may not be seen by the people we want to be seen by. We may not be seen by the people we think should see us. But we are seen. There are people watching us every day. People who see how we respond to what comes our way. People who see how we act when we think no one sees. Little ones who watch what mommy does as she goes through her mundane chores. 

And we are seen by El Roi, the God who sees.

You and I do not go unnoticed by the God of the universe. When the enemy tries to convince us otherwise, lead us into a tantrum, and seal us up in a cave, we must choose to believe what Christ has said.

He sees us.

Isaiah 49:15-17

¹⁵ 

“Can a woman forget her nursing child,

And not have compassion on the son of her womb?

Surely they may forget,

Yet I will not forget you.

¹⁶ 

See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands;

Your walls are continually before Me.

 (NKJV)

We are not invisible. 

I hope you choose to believe that truth.

HE IS RISEN, HE IS RISEN INDEED!

Mark 16

(NKJV)

He Is Risen

16 Now when the Sabbath was past, Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James, and Salome bought spices, that they might come and anoint Him. 

² Very early in the morning, on the first day of the week, they came to the tomb when the sun had risen. 

³ And they said among themselves, “Who will roll away the stone from the door of the tomb for us?” 

⁴ But when they looked up, they saw that the stone had been rolled away—for it was very large.

 ⁵ And entering the tomb, they saw a young man clothed in a long white robe sitting on the right side; and they were alarmed.

⁶ But he said to them, “Do not be alarmed. You seek Jesus of Nazareth, who was crucified. He is risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid Him.

 ⁷ But go, tell His disciples—and Peter—that He is going before you into Galilee; there you will see Him, as He said to you.”

YOU KNOW WHAT I HAVE LEARNED DURING THIS SEASON OF LENT...

is that I choose.

* Disclaimer - I know there are individuals who have addictions that they simply cannot just choose to not do. Be it alcohol, food, drugs, sex, pride.....I know. 
I know because I know and have known them. I have seen them desperately try to just stop, only to be lured back again, pulled down deeper in to a pit they can't get out of. 

This is not that story. This is my story,  because I also know that there are also a good number of us who walk defeated because we choose to. 

The hallelujah chorus for both stories is the fact that without Jesus Christ, without choosing Jesus Christ, we would all be lost. It's by His strength and grace that any of us walk in victory, not matter how big or small. 

okay - back to my story....

Yes, I still choose.
Food is an battle for me, especially sweets. They have been my go to comfort.They have been my go to stress relief. They have been my go to best friend when I felt friendless. They have been my idol...let's call them what they are. They have been heaped onto wounds and insecurities in futile attempts to appease the flesh. Restraint had been cast off.

I have given up candy, chocolate, and the like before for Lent, but this time was different. I needed to break the cycle and establish Who was going to take the lead. I had honestly felt defeated. I felt that the sweets were stronger. I felt I couldn't walk away and once I started, I was a goner.

I chose to bring this situation, and all its ugliness, to the Lord. During this season of Lent, it was no longer a sacrifice but a choice - to put Him first. I imagine my surprise when about two weeks in I realized I had walked in some victory. The moment when I realized those carbs did not have near the power over me like I thought they did when I laid them down before Jesus. Can I get an amen on how our areas of defeat pale in comparison to the Throne of Christ Jesus? How, many times, the thing we were beat down with, which felt like a telephone pole when we battling in our own strength, was nothing more than a flimsy reed when dealt with by the Hand of God?

By relying on Him, I could, and can, walk away.
Which is a good reminder as the days of Lent grow to an end. A reminder that this is victory does not just have to be for a season, but can be for everyday from here on out.

I choose.

FOR THOSE WHO FEEL ALONE, UNSEEN & DEFEATED....

Psalm 25 (NIV)

Of David.

¹ 

In you, Lord my God,

    I put my trust.

² 

I trust in you;

    do not let me be put to shame,

    nor let my enemies triumph over me.

³ 

No one who hopes in you

    will ever be put to shame,

but shame will come on those

    who are treacherous without cause.

⁴ 

Show me your ways, Lord,

    teach me your paths.

⁵ 

Guide me in your truth and teach me,

    for you are God my Savior,

    and my hope is in you all day long.

⁶ 

Remember, Lord, your great mercy and love,

    for they are from of old.

⁷ 

Do not remember the sins of my youth

    and my rebellious ways;

according to your love remember me,

    for you, Lord, are good.

⁸ 

Good and upright is the Lord;

    therefore he instructs sinners in his ways.

⁹ 

He guides the humble in what is right

    and teaches them his way.

¹⁰ 

All the ways of the Lord are loving and faithful

    toward those who keep the demands of his covenant.

¹¹ 

For the sake of your name, Lord,

    forgive my iniquity, though it is great.

¹² 

Who, then, are those who fear the Lord?

    He will instruct them in the ways they should choose.

¹³ 

They will spend their days in prosperity,

    and their descendants will inherit the land.

¹⁴ 

The Lord confides in those who fear him;

    he makes his covenant known to them.

¹⁵ 

My eyes are ever on the Lord,

    for only he will release my feet from the snare.

¹⁶ 

Turn to me and be gracious to me,

    for I am lonely and afflicted.

¹⁷ 

Relieve the troubles of my heart

    and free me from my anguish.

¹⁸ 

Look on my affliction and my distress

    and take away all my sins.

¹⁹ 

See how numerous are my enemies

    and how fiercely they hate me!

²⁰ 

Guard my life and rescue me;

    do not let me be put to shame,

    for I take refuge in you.

²¹ 

May integrity and uprightness protect me,

    because my hope, Lord, is in you.

²² 

Deliver Israel, O God,

    from all their troubles!

You are not. 

WHICH ROOM DO YOU CHOOSE?

Mc 1 and I are sprawled out on the couches watching AFV. I just walked into the kitchen and let me tell you, the cleanliness of it made me so happy. I like a tidy house, but a clean kitchen is my top choice if only one room is going to get done. For some it's the bathroom, but I live in a house full of men, 2/3 of whom don't have the best of aim (the driving years concern me because they tend to lean in whichever direction their eyes wander), so I gave up on that one.


Today's question is which room do you choose?
When you get up in the morning, what's the one room you want clean?
Let your OCD loose!!!