THOUGHT CLOSET

So I just finished Me, Myself and Lies by Jennifer Rothschild. And will come as a shock to ANYONE that the last couple of days my thought closet has been attacked. Anyone? Anyone? Actually, my thought closet is my thorn in my flesh. Just when I think I have it under control, BAM!, it flares up again. (Like how I threw a little Emeril in there for ya-- making Mickey Mouse pancakes this morning has got me in the cooking mode). It is one of those that you go - man, I thought we were done with this. Always the same line of thought.

"You can't do this"

"You have lost you ever lovin mind"

"You are gonna fail"

so on and so on

Triggers seem to be change or major stress. Well to say that I have a bit if that this summer would be an understatement. I did okay during the summer. Yet with the onset of school and the changes that involves for me, there was crack in my defense and in the thoughts came.

It always makes me mad at myself first. I should be stronger than this. I should be able to stomp them under my feet. I should NOT still be fighting this.

Truth is, I may always have to fight this. Truth is I am not strong enough on my own to win this one. Truth is I am flesh and blood, emotion and anxiety, courage and fear, all jumbled together.

Yes, that is all true. If I am going to have victory over this, either permanently or day by day, then I have to get my mind to focus on the TRUTH:

"And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore, I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

Acts 12: 9-10

NKJV

"I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live but Christ lives in me; and this life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me."

Galations 2:20

NKJV

TRUTH is by Him and in Him and through Him, this battle is already won. I am merely fighting skirmishes, putting out hot spots as they come along. As time goes on, I will wiser about my battle plans. I will learn to discern the voice of my Commander before the attack comes. Someday the enemy may get tired of losing this one. He may not. Either way, I have the victory in Jesus Christ. This princess warrior has her battle helmet on and sword at the ready. Shield of faith is up and and everything rests on my belt of His truth. Peace will go with me wherever I go, for it is the very thing I walk upon.