DO YOU REALLY?

The chorus said something about
I live to glorify Your name
and I had to stop singing.
I have sung that song a million times.
Yesterday, it stopped me in my tracks.
As soon as I said it, the Holy Spirit asked.
Do you really?
Or do you live to have your own name glorified for Me?
Dead silence.
Then I sat down, got out my spiral and started writing so I would not soon forget.
Am I willing to be the last so His name will be first?
Am I willing to serve (and not just when it looks good) so He is glorified?
Am I willing to be passed over so He is lifted up?
Am I willing to be overlooked so He is brought glory?
Am I willing to be support staff, on the bench, the B team, so He is glorified?
My heart desperately wants to say yes.
My flesh desperately wants to be first.
It wants to be recognized.
It wants to happen what people said would happen.
But what if someone else getting to do what I want to do brings more glory to God than I could?
What about that?
Am I willing to bow out?
Am I willing to hold my peace?
Am I willing to take my hurt feelings or disappointments before the Lord and leave them there?
Not take them before anyone else.
I think that is a decision I will make one choice at a time.
One opportunity at a time.
One day at a time.
But I can tell you this-
I am now aware.
And in that awareness,
I still get to choose.

PERSPECTIVE

I was going to write a post with this same title, but then I read Robyn's this morning, and she basically said what I would have said. So go read hers:) And let her know that you did.

PARVO

Bella has parvo. She is doing well this morning. Still up and going. Fingers crossed and prayers up. The men children will be upset if she dies. Being the realist (or pessimist) I am I felt they needed to know that was a real possibility.
So now I feed and water (meaning I give her baby food and Gatorade) 3x a day. I clean up her poo and change her bed linings.
Seems like I have done this before and thought those years were behind me.
The nevers are still strong, especially after the vet trip yesterday.
It is the struggle between being an arrogant brat saying " You are God! Help me out here! and trying to remember He is God and going to him in humility and asking for help.
Sometimes the fleshy one wins.
Then she repents and the humble returns.
Hope you guys have an awesome day.
You pray for me and I'll pray for you.
Just tell me how.

FEELING LIKE MICK JAGGER IN NEVERLAND

and not because I have an awesome set of pouty lips and fit into some tight leather pants.
Not yet anyway.
I found myself very dissatisfied yesterday.
Dissatisfied with my house.
Dissatisfied with our state of affairs.
Dissatisfied with my lot in life right now.
I am not sure exactly why.
I think it was because the day just did not go like I wanted.
Or maybe because those "sacrifices" that were going to have to be made hit something I wanted badly.
That dissatisfaction turned into a bad case of the "nevers".
I will never get the remodeling done that I started.
We are never going to get ahead financially, not even just one step.
I am never going to write any bible study worth reading.
I will never do anything for the Lord in ministry.
My house will never be clean again.
I am never going to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
N-E-V-E-R.
I did catch myself yesterday in the midst of it.
Which is good because at least I recognized what it was.
I wish I could say I woke up this morning and all was perky and happy.
It wasn't.
The "nevers" are still lurking in the back of my mind.
They are weighing a bit on my heart.
Never seems so final.
So permanent.
Today I am going to fight fire with fire.
As the "nevers" try to keep me preoccupied and downtrodden.
As they try to get me to do some belly button gazing today,
I will come back with this....

"Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have.

For He Himself has said 'I will never leave you nor forsake you'."

Hebrews 13:5 (NKJV)

That is a good "never" to hang on to.

SKILLET AND A BLUE DOG

Sister fussed for no post yesterday but I was coming off a serious sugar rush I do believe. Having given up desserts for Lent (because yes this once Methodist now non-dom girl has observed that portion of Lent since she was a kid) the two Cadbury eggs I had apparently did me in. Or the bunny cake. Or maybe it was the peanut butter cups. Needless to say it was 5 or so before I could even pick my head up respectably.
This weekend was jammed pack. Friday night we took the men children to their first concert - Toby Mac and Skillet- because we wanna go big time (sorry too much Big Time Rush). HH is a HUGE fan of Skillet. MC 2 and I are bigger fans of Toby Mac, and MC 1 just had to come along. Skillet was insanely loud but really good. Thank goodness for the random strangers behind us who had extra sets of ear plugs. Skillet had fire and fireworks and stages that elevated. HH was so happy. MC 2 just kept asking when Toby Mac was coming.
Then he did. I would love to show you pics but I was too busy holding onto to MC 2. He does like to wander. I wish you could have seen the delight when TM sang " Whatever I need to be I'll be for you". MC 2 sang right along. He cried when we left at 10:15, even though he could hardly stand up. PLUS.... My bloggie bestie Keri and Nathan were there! How awesome was that. We did not even know we were both going until that night! God is good.
Saturday required HH to work and the men children and I to visit the local Wal-Mart. It has been a long time since I took both boys grocery shopping and Saturday reminded me why. I really have not gotten so many "Bless your heart" looks in a long time. So after 2 hours worth of "CUT IT OUTS" we were ready to take our two buggies to the house. However, in the parking lot, MC 1's driving skills were lacking and we toppled one buggy right straight to the ground. After confirming he was okay, he-manning the buggy back up and gathering my wares, to home we went.
HH called on the way and I heard strange yipping in the background. Ladies and gentlemen I present to you Bella....






Bella is trying to survive MC 2. We thought yesterday she was getting sick (which just as a side note sent my flesh to a really not nice, rhymes with stitchy place) but it appears she just had too much MC 2. I mean a dog can only take so much being picked up by her neck and her front two feet. So today I am on dog patrol.
Sunday was a great day of faith and fellowship and family. Church, dinner at my mom's, egg hunt, mad dash home, dinner with HH's side at my house, Susan's rolls, peach cobbler, R-O-L-L-S! Egg hunt and then sugar rushes.
All in all a very good, very busy weekend.
We are blessed, yes we are.

TODAY

But He was wounded for our transgressions,

He was bruised for our iniquities;

The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,

And by His stripes we are healed.

Isaiah 53:5

NKJV

I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN

Nephew 1 are you good at taking pictures?

Yes, sure.

Can you take picutres of MC 1 opening presents for me?

Yep.

Imagine my surprise....

when I found these.