I was called a control freak yesterday. I would have been offended if it weren't true. I like to be in control. Of my life. My kids. HH. Other people. Our family has a running joke that if people would just do what we told them to, things would go a lot better. Of course, we are usually talking about each other.
Usually.
Clearly, being a control freak is a futile endeavor, because in this fallen world we don't control a great deal. For myself, in my Christian walk, it seems hypocritical. As a Christian, I confess to believe that Jesus Christ is in control of my life, yet I still try to control it.Can't have it both ways Rhonda.
Don't misunderstand, I am not talking about being responsible with my kids, my husband, and my life. That I am called to do. I in no way mean to imply that we should just live life flippantly because we have no control. I am talking about being in the ultimate control.
That I know best.
Always.
As a follower of Christ, being a control freak also puts a target on my back for the Lord. He loves me too much to let me keep on in that line of thinking. He has diligently worked it out in many areas of my life over the past few years. Over the past few weeks, He has been targeting in on one. Last week, we had a break through.
I know I can't control everything. I know that. I can control one thing. I can control my submission to Jesus Christ. I can control that I choose Him. In everything. Big and small.
In the pretty things of life and in the ugly.
I can control Who I go to and how quick I get there.
I can control whether or not I choose to be diligent in the little and big things.
I can control how long I let condemnation knock on the door of my heart when I don't.
I don't expect to be instantly delivered from my control freak self. I am pretty sure there is too much to be gained in the work He is doing for that to happen.
And He will continue to fine tune the areas I have been hiding from.
But He is the one doing the work, which is a relief.
I don't want to be in control of that process.
2 comments:
It seems like we are in the same line of thought! I was just talking to a friend about praying for me because I put such high expectations on others. As a friend, I "expect" you to want to lie down your life for me. That's not true. The Bible says that but it's not up to me to decide who lies down there life for me. I "expect" you to want to hang out with me and want to be with me. Not always true. We all have lives and they do not just revolve around Mrs. Aimee Akin! ;-)
I love your posts! Thank you for sharing your heart and opening my eyes!
man - you could have written this about me, not you - do you think it is a family trait?
but this line:
I am pretty sure there is too much to be gained in the work He is doing for that to happen.
good stuff - now that'll preach!!!
learning that one myself
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