stinks and is stinking hard.
I know it sounds flippant some days, just choose Jesus, just choose this or that, but I am all to aware of how hard that can be. The sinful me has its own choices it wants to make. The hurt me wants to protect me and mine. The wounded me wants to bite back when you mess with her. The insecure me wants the praises of peeps because they are tangible and drown out the what I am not ramblings in my head. Over the weekend I had the opportunity to work this out and let me tell you, it was difficult. I was mad, old wounds (that I thought had healed) ripped open, and I had a full scale debate raging in my head and my heart. I will tell you there was a point when I felt the burden lift. However, it only came after I confessed to the Lord the deepest, ugliest truth I had hid in my heart about the whole thing, and even then, I had to keep choosing.
I guess I want you to know two things:
First, if you find choosing difficult today, you are not alone. Choosing is hard for many of us, if not all. Whether it is choosing not to have that next drink or next cookie or next hit or next snarky comment, you are not the only one.
Second, it is only when we come clean with God about the truth in our own hearts are we able to move forward. Freely. You can tell Him. He can handle it. It does not change the sacrifice Christ made for you. It is the very reason for it.
If you and I choose nothing else today, let us choose to lay it all before Jesus.
He has chosen to carry it.
All the way to the cross.
2 comments:
Yep!! That was me last week. It was horrifying and sad and freeing and sweet all at the same time. Thank you for the reminder!
oh Amen and Amen!! it is so hard many times to choose - and yes, He most certainly knows the struggle itself, and how hard it is for us - but He implores us to choose that which is best, Him. always. forever.
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