CONSPIRACY THEORY

I totally beat out the conspirators this morning. Praise the Lord & thank you Jesus! Have a great day! Remember our God loves you.

CONSPIRED AGAINST

I think I am being conspired against. Seriously - some kinda conspiracy theory is developing in my head. Which will give me one more thing to worry about. Oh wait, I am not doing that anymore. Should I be worried that I started again? Naa. But someone is out to get me. 2 things I am trying to work on - regular exercise & more consistent quiet times. So of course it has not worked out well. Seems every night something has happened that requires me to stay up late and that makes me oversleep in the am. I MEAN IT - EVERY NIGHT! Stuff that normally should not happen. And I NEVER oversleep (at least not often). It is really driving me crazy. I like to be organized (notice I said like). I like to have a schedule, a routine, and this is throwing it way off. If I can't have a routine I get very frustrated and want to quit. Type A at its best! So,of course, God won't let me be like that. I am not in control, as much as I would like to be (or at least think I would, because deep down I probably don't want all the responsibility of being in charge). So tonight I will choose to go the bed earlier & I will choose to set my alarm & I will choose to try it again.

Side note - had a "friend" go to the OB/GYN. I'll spare you the details but I did learn two things you aren't thrilled to hear your doc say during the actual uhm VISIT -" ..Now that's interesting?" and "WOW- you do have a rash!"

UPDATE- For all you concerned, please know the "rash" was nothing viral or contagious- just your run of the mill girly stuff. The "friend" would want you to know.

"Be sober, be vigilent;because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith , knowing that the same sufferrings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world. But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen and settle you. TO HIM BE THE GLORY AND DOMINION FOREVER AND EVER AMEN."
1 Peter 5: 8-10

DREAMS

First- I just watched the LPM El Paso video and let me say I cried through the whole thing. That Travis boy can flat out sing! To see all those women just loving on Jesus and crying out to Him thrills me to no end.
Last summer my friend B suggested I read a book called The Dream Giver by Bruce Wilkinson. He is the same man that wrote the little book called The Prayer of Jabez. So I finally did last fall & it was well worth it. The short version is that the book is parable of a man living his plain life until the Dream Giver comes and gives him his dream. It then goes on to talk about all the challenges he faces trying to get to his dream (kinda a Pilgrim's Progress theme). The second half of the book is then dedicated to helping point readers to their big dream.
The second book B recommended was Wide Awake by Erwin McManus. Now I have not read this yet, but I did catch him of Life Today with James Robison (of who I am a big fan - even before Wednesday with Beth). One of the statements Mr. McManus made was that we get caught living the life we think we are supposed to live. Many of us shoot down our own dreams because we think we are not supposed to dream like that; we are grown ups now. Now don't get me or him wrong, we all have responsibilities to provide for those we are to care for. But those responsibilities do not have to trump the dream God has placed in your heart. God has given you something, some gift that is just for you. Some dream that is yours alone & is for this time. I don't think God intended life to be 1) get up 2) go to "work" ( whether away from home or not) 3) come home 4) eat supper 5) go to bed 6) repeat the next day. In John 10:10 Christ tells us He came so we may have not just life but life more abundantly!
Last winter I believe I got my "big dream". It was during a Sunday service to which I was not to excited about going to , with a guest speaker I was not so interested in hearing. But I went (afraid I would miss something). And I would have missed a lot had I stayed home. For weeks before I had been crying out to God- show me something. What we are doing right now is not working. Show me what You made me for, because I don't think this(job) is it. On that Sunday morning I believe He did. Now the dream has not come to fruition yet. The process along the way is way to important for God to by pass. And there have been times this year when I have "forgotten" what my big dream is. But even in those times, its burning embers are still stirring around in the very depth of my heart.
Yesterday I talked about how I still get to choose. Today I choose to remember what the Lord has placed in my heart. I choose to remember that He has plans for me that I would not even believe if He told me. I pray you do the same.
Side note - man child 2 made his first official trip to the ER. All was well praise the Lord and honestly we probably went more for my piece of mind than his. I'm telling you never dull with men children. NEVER!

I STILL GET TO CHOOSE

Having one of those days where I am lamenting the poor choices I have made recently. Not about spouse or kids, let me say that up front. Poor choices about me. Poor choices in my relationship with Christ Jesus. You know - one of those days when you ask yourself how did I let it get to this? A friend of mine sent a comment that said " rebellion is the root of all passivity". I gotta say that I think that is where I am today- seeing my rebellion. I know what I am supposed to be doing and yet I have chosen to do nothing. That is rebellion. And I think my rebellion is coming from fear. Fear that if I am not in control it won't work out right. Now I know better, I know better, but as Paul says sometimes I do what I don't want to do. I know that what Christ has for me is far beyond anything I could even think of, yet my flesh really wants to control stuff. Even last night a situation arose that well I could flat worry myself in to a darn good tizzy about. But even when I was trying to worry- kept feeling in my Spirit - what are you going to add to it by worrying about it. So as much as my flesh wants to get all worked up and have a major meltdown about it, I am going to choose to rest in the assurance that my God is still in control. Scared to death - yep. Tears even now if I would let them fall, and a good cry may be required before the day is over. But the choices I make can be different today. Today I will choose to repent for my rebellion and passivity. Today I will choose to rest in the assurances my Father has promised me in His Word. Because as much as the enemy would like to convince me that all is lost, I still get to choose.

Fashionistos

I was pleased when HH and I were blessed with boys because - well- I am not a very girly girl. I thought great - no hair bows- no coordinating outfits - none of that pressure. HOW WRONG WAS I. Because although I am not very fashion forward (or conscious for that matter) HH IS. The man is hunter by design & that includes hunting for the latest clothing sale and fashion trends. He recently turned his "look" 180 degrees. He has been a boots & jeans guy since day one. Recently he discovered Kohl's and came along to the retro guy side ( I am so out of the loop I don't even know what you call the newest style for guys). Anyway, he has pulled it off well if I do say so myself. Now even though I know this about HH, I didn't really feel too concerned about the men children. AGAIN, HOW WRONG WAS I. Man child 1 decided a couple of years ago that he had his own style and would decide for himself what to wear. Normally he pulls it off well. He usually matches his colors and dresses appropriately for the occasion. And well, I really don't care. He leans toward the skater/hip hop dancer theme which I am fine with. However, yesterday he decided he wanted to be a "cowboy". Now he does have some boots, but the kid has not worn Wranglers in at least 2 years. so his announcement that he needed some of "those jeans with the thing on the back -like cowboys wear" for church on Sunday does create a problem. Now rest assured I am not rushing out to get him some. He can wear what he has. However, if this is a sign of fashion times to come, I am in trouble. The boys already have to get dad to help fix their hair if they want it "styled". The drama of what we are going to wear each day is not supposed to be mine. I have boys. They are supposed to put on what ever & go. I am not ready for the "fashionistos" (and yep totally made that up, I think. It might be a real word, I am sure someone will let me know if it is) growing up in my house. And another thing, can someone please tell me why Saturday is the "rise & shine" early day of the week? Sleeping in seems like an unattainable dream! Oh well, you guys have a great Saturday!


Update- I just had to fight a huge temptation - the Snuggie. As seen on the LPM blog & Big Mama's blog, they are diverse. And even though I adore Beth Moore, I just had to pass, free reading light & all.

Men Children

Can I just say it is never dull in a house full of man children (some full grown). I SO understand why my grandmother constantly yelled "Boys - get outside!"

We attended one of those strong man shows at a local church recently. Hunter Hubs & I knew Man child 1 would love it, however, we never really considered that he would actually think he was CAPABLE of replicating the feats of strength (Hey - its our first kid - we are learning). So we should not have been surprised when we returned home and man child 1 tried to smash an empty coke can on his head. Nor should we have been surprised when he reentered the room tearing the can with his teeth. FYI Man child 2 NOT at all impressed.

Now if you are not a fan of hunting you will have to skip this part. Hunter Hubs is called that for a reason - the man eats & breathes hunting. I never knew there were so many hunting shows on. Having said that, we have been having issues with some varmints at our house. So being the hunter that he is, hunter hubs is going to rid us of the problem. He has a blanket "blind" so they can't see him sneaking up. Now we support fair chase and as it stands the score is like varmints 12 hunter hubs 2. I think the screen in my door has suffered the greatest loss- it is bullet hole city. Okay so last night we get ready for bed and I notice a 2 x 4 by the door. Conversation went something like this-

me- whatcha going to do with the board? tired of shooting at them?
HH- yeah thought I might sneak out and hit one.
me- why?
HH - just to see if I could. But then I remembered that those varmints are rather aggressive so I decided not to.

Good call my friend, good call. Never a dull moment- NEVER!

HEROES

No not the TV show. Hunter hubs tried to get started watching it one season. Unfortunately we were too far behind to get who was who & what was what. Too much for us. It is hard enough trying to keep up with Lost. No, we had a speaker today at church and he talked about the gift of faith (1 Corinthians 12:9). His point was that we don't ask for it. We like the gifts of prophecy or healing, but how often do we ask for faith? He went on to illustrate David and Goliath and how David's one act of faith caused God to move on his behalf and changed the world forever. His statement that really stuck with me was that the world is looking for heroes. Why that struck me odd I don't know. I mean we see it everyday in the way we treat sports stars, musicians,actors, politicians, even pastors. We want that someone who will ride in and save the day. I think we confuse hero with savior. We already have the One who will save the day - Jesus Christ. What we don't have are a lot of people who act like He has done it. (please know I include myself- first and foremost). If you look at the heroes of the bible - Joshua, David, Paul, Rahab (cuz that girl rocked) they all had the same thing in common - they believed God- not in Him only - they believed what He said about Himself and about them. That is the gift of faith. To believe in spite of what I see, hear or feel. To know who my God has called me to be and to act in that manner - regardless. I looked up hero in my dictionary and you know it said nothing about "saving the day". However it did say hero was know for their "bold exploits". So let me ask you this- when was the last time you had a "bold exploit" for Jesus Christ? Where you laid it all out there on the line and if He didn't show up it was going to go downhill quick. Please don't think I am talking about leaping over tall buildings in a single bound. Maybe your bold exploit is to lay your marriage or your family at the feet of God and REALLY leave it there this time. Perhaps it is to talk to the checkout girl you see EVERYDAY about her relationship with Christ. Maybe it is to take whatever is going on at work, at school, at church and TOTALLY give it over to God and NOT take it back. See it's the cowardly part of us, the scared part, that keeps taking it back. Harsh words - yep - am I first among cowards - some days you better believe it. Fear that it is not going to work out like I think it should or how I envisioned it has caused me to snatch back a lot of stuff that should have been left alone. In comes gift of faith. To say " Jesus this situation is Yours. All I bring to the table is a mustard seed of faith. Grow it up and make it strong." Got some stuff going on in my own life where I need to choose which way I am going to go. I need the gift of faith to take my hands off and let it go. I need to act like the child of God He says I am. Gonna guess you do to. So in the words of a dear friend, " You pray for me; I pray for you". Have a blessed Monday. Go out there and act like the HERO God has called you to be.



PS - Rebecca - that is 2 posts now & you've not commented on either. You are dropping the ball:)