NEVER DONE

If you have kids, or work with kids, or pretty much have any interaction with the fellow sojourners on this earthly walk then you have probably said things you wished you hadn't. MC 2 is a patience testing child. In more ways than I could have ever imagined. Big stuff that leaves you speechless. Little stuff that wears you down. When we were home together and he had tested me to my max, I would send him to his room and say, "I am done with you."
Yep, I gasp when I read it as well.
Then, I try not to fall apart.
Now, it absolutely breaks my heart to know I said it to him.
Thankfully, the Holy Spirit convicted me and corrected me. He showed me a truth I was planting in my child. I was telling him there was a point where I gave up. Where I said he had gone to far and I was withdrawing myself. Now, while my actions were to come back, my words left the impression that a day will come when I wouldn't. 
Did I want that for him? To wonder if the parent who was to love him, protect him, and be there for him was going to someday say I am done.
The hard truth of the matter is a great deal of my heart's battle is revealed in that statement. While I know in my head Christ will never be done with me, there is a portion of my flesh that often wonders if I have gone too far. Have I done this or that one time too many? Have I pushed to the point where Jesus would send me away and tell me He was done with me? With those flesh and fear fed doubts comes an onslaught of twisted emotions and insecurities. Havoc is wrecked in my spiritual life and the damage is played out before me in my physical life. 
That is when I must choose.
To listen to the carnal voice saying He is done with you or sink my feet into the words of scripture that tell me He is faithful to finish what He started in me (Phil. 1:6).

I don't use that phrase with MC 2 these days. Oh, he still tries me and I will tell him I am done with a behavior or attitude. But done with him, never.
Because praise God, He is never done with me.

ONLY ONE

Now I plead with you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all speak the same thing, and  that  there be no divisions among you, but  that  you be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment. For it has been declared to me concerning you, my brethren, by those of Chloe’s  household,  that there are contentions among you. Now I say this, that each of you says, “I am of Paul,” or “I am of Apollos,” or “I am of Cephas,” or “I am of Christ.” Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Or were you baptized in the name of Paul? (1 Corinthians 1:10-13 NKJV)

So this is what I am reading now. Which is good because it's what I see now, too. In the mirror, in the local body & in the church. Some of us get pretty uppity about who we follow or read or sit under for teaching. Those who don't follow who we follow, well, clearly they are uninformed. In my own moment, I actually found myself troubled by one of those I follow befriending another in ministry on social media. 

Pitiful. Flesh driven. Absolutely out of order.

I had to stop, call myself to the carpet & submit to the Lord's dealing with me.

Why? Because my apprehension was about rib issues, and while those matter, the spine matters more. 

Jesus matters more.

The kingdom of God, the glory of God & the work of God matters more.

So let's choose to not be caught up in it all. 

Let's choose to let the backbone of Christ & His righteousness be what causes us to stand tall & not our own arrogance about which book, blog, tweet or Podcast we follow.

Only One died for our sins. 

By only One name are we saved. 

Only One will be the King of Kings & Lord of Lords.

Only One.

Jesus.

SHOTS TO THE RIBS

Spine & ribs. I have heard it. I have said it. I have read it. Issues in the church, both local and global, can be divided into these two categories. The are those issues that are essential to our Christian faith. They are spine issues. They are the backbone of what we believe. They are what everything else stems from. Broken spines leave people paralyzed. There is no moving forward. There is no walking. There is not even crawling. When the fundamentals of our faith, the hard core, non-negotiable items, are compromised, when we can not agree on these, we are immobilized as a person, as a people, and as a church.
But can I tell you something?
Broken ribs hurt.
Those issues that aren't our very foundation, but are important to us, well, damages to those hurt. We can still move and we can still walk, but not without pain. Broken ribs are tender. Broken ribs cause us to be guarded with our movements and protective with our hearts. Even breathing is painful some days. Much less trying to extend our hands, in worship or in assistance of another. Broken ribs cause us to draw in and guard our very exposed torsos.

Okay, maybe just me. Because that is how I have been feeling lately. As if I have been walking with broken ribs. The spine is fine, but my ribs feel like they have taken a beating. Disagreements and doubts are like punches pounding on my torso. Worship is painful. Standing tall is not without some struggle. I am guarded. I am tender. My actions are weighed against the pain they may cause me.
It hurts to cry.
It hurts to laugh.
Sometimes all I can do is stand bent over.

And I don't know how to fix it.
Or how long it will take.

I am not paralyzed.
I may be crawling spiritually, but I am not paralyzed.
I know that.
I am grateful for that.
I thank God for that.

My banged up ribs will heal.
With time, I won't be so guarded.
It's just going to take a bit to get there.

My Healer, He likes broken.
My Healer, He can use broken.
My Healer, He is faithful to touch the broken.
And He will make me whole again.

In the meantime, we will walk together.

Because neither He nor I,in Him, are paralyzed.

HOW HAS THE FIRST WEEK GONE? DEPENDS ON WHO YOU ASK.

MC 1 is loving the year so far. His biggest joy....he has a locker. With a number and all. He is simple giddy about it. Tonight he told me he sometimes pretends he needs something from his locker just so he can go to his locker.
Quote, "It's my FIRST locker mom!"
He really likes his homeroom teacher, He is having success with his math facts - the very thorns in our sides. Short of getting to play Little League football, his week has been perfect. He has lots of words to use when he gets home. He loves to tell all about his day.

MC 2. He told me on the second day he wasn't going back. When you ask him how was school, you get "eh". His biggest challenge is keeping out of the red. HH questions him daily as to what color he is on. The other night I overheard Mc2 explaining how yellow is really not that bad.
Academically...well, who knows.

Me. Well, I have a lot of little babies I wasn't planning on. About 110 physics kiddos and 38 chemistry ones. We are on 8 period days, so.....I see all there lovely faces for 47 minutes a day. Some longer than that during the blessed 55 minute period that allows for all the lunches. Many of the kids I had last year so that is nice. The newbies are good also. We have a new commander in chief on our campus, so we have all been adjusting to the new rules & regs. My co-workers are awesome. Not a one I don't like. I missed them over the summer.
Overall, I would say it has gone very smoothly.

So how has your first week or weeks been? Public, private or home, how has it gone?

MY BIGGEST BATTLE DURING THE SCHOOL YEAR...

Well, we are back at it. School has kicked into gear. While I will appreciate your prayers for our school year, I will covet them for our home. Here is a secret....one of, if not the, biggest battle I face during the school year is having patience with my own kids. At the house, Snappy McSnappy mama can rear her ugly head quickly. After spending 8+hours correcting other children, trying to educate them, trying to encourage them, trying to input some home training to the ones who need it, and trying to grow them as people, I don't have a high tolerance for doing the same thing at my house.
The good news is I know this. I know homework time at the house stresses me out. I know I don't always use kind words and tones with the MCs & HH after a rough day. I know I am short on time and grace and listening when we hit the door running at the house.
The bad news will be if I leave it that way this year.
I need to be the best here.
At home.
For them.
I must choose.
So I ask you, if you are the praying sort, to choose to pray for me in this area.
Feel free to hold me accountable.
Choose to.
On here.
On Facebook.
At Wal-Mart.
These babies at home are my primary investment.
I must choose them.

Have a great week!

WHILE WE WERE AWAY

CLOAK CHECK

Is there a time and place to be a Christian? The question that Sister #2 and I were talking about the other day.
I am hoping, if you have read for this for even the smallest amount of time, you will know that I say - no, there is not a time and a place, for I am always a Christian.
My Christian faith....
- goes with me into my work place, a public school. Dictating how I interact with my kids, their parents and my co-workers.
- takes me shopping. Guiding what I buy and don't buy, where I shop and don't shop, and how I deal with the people on both sides of the register.
- comes into my house. Determining how I am as a wife and a mom and a sister and a daughter and a Facebooker and a Tweeter and a Blogger.
- sits with me in my rocking chair. Compelling me to spend time with the very one I desire to be like.
- walks with me into the voting booth. Selecting based on what the Bible holds as truth and not by party lines.
- runs my track with me. Reminding me why I need to take care of this temple, who it is for, and granting me the self discipline to keep it up when my legs want to quit.
And the one that will trip most people up and cause them to call my a hypocrite-  my Christian faith is carried into all those places and grants forgiveness and grace when I completely blow it.

There is no place where we, as Christians, are to leave those values at the door.
None.
It either colors and guides everything we do or it doesn't.
Even in my flesh driven struggles and mistakes, my faith in Christ is paramount.
Faith that He loves me.
Faith that He forgives me.
Faith the He redeems me.
Faith the He justifies and sanctifies me.

Whole-hearted belief He desires to do the same for you.
Let us take off our church cloaks and carry Christ with us.
EVERYWHERE.
We choose.