DISGRACED

I am knee deep in bible study this summer. I've already told you my sisters, mama, and I are working through Gideon. I am also studying Nehemiah by Kelly Minter in a women's class this summer. I didn't choose Nehemiah at first because I have already gone through it. I actually had a different class in mind, but never felt good about it, so Nehemiah was choice #2.
But not in Christ's order.
The previous time I worked through Nehemiah I didn't watch the videos. As most of you know, the video can bring a lot to the table and last week's, video 3 I think, was no exception. The topic was the disgrace the Israelites felt and how Nehemiah planned to deal with it. Minter then points us to 2 Corinthians 5 where we are called to be ministers of reconciliation.
Sitting in my little chair in the corner, I wrote down on my paper DO NOT DISGRACE THEM and underlined it twice, which means it's serious business. Then I was thinking how often I have chosen disgrace over reconciliation for others. Example? Sure. Just remember Jesus is still perfecting me. Have I ever prayed for the truth to be revealed about a person or a situation? I mean earnestly prayed? Yes. Can I sit here and tell you it was from a heart that wanted the people involved to be reconciled to Christ every time? Nope. Ashamedly, I can recall times when my motive was to have them disgraced. Right there, in the middle of my anger, hurt, frustration, or any other emotion I could feel, I gave way to the sin nature of this mortal body. Sure, I didn't call it sin. I called it truth being revealed. I called it people needing to know. I called it perpetrators reaping what they have sown. Regardless of whatever name I tagged it with, the intent was still to have them shamed and disgraced.
Pretty, right?
I am grateful to Jesus for pointing this out, as I saw it developing in my heart as recent as last week.
Repentance has come from it. Not just the I'm sorry I did it, but the I'm sorry and please God let me turn from it. Let me choose to turn from it. Let me choose to be about reconciliation- be it by the words I say to others or the prayers I pray to God alone. Let me choose to stand guard over my own heart and mind against that prideful spirit. Let me choose not to be the one causing others to be disgraced.
The message has been an eye opener for me, as I pray this post is for you. Not because of my words, but as a result of the work the Spirit will do in you.

2 Corinthians 5:18-19 

¹⁸ Now all things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation, ¹⁹ that is, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not imputing their trespasses to them, and has committed to us the word of reconciliation.

(NKJV)

Perhaps you can think of a time when you have secretly wanted disgrace instead of reconciliation. Repentance, true repentance, can be ours. We are not without hope.
Maybe you are the one who was disgraced. Forgiveness through Christ is ours as well.

who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ.... 

May we choose to believe Him.
For in Christ Jesus, we are never disgraced.

NOT JUST OUT THERE...

Like some of you, I am working through Gideon by Priscilla Shirer with the Siesta Summer Bible Study. We are well into weeks 3 and 4, but a statement from week 1 has prompted a post.

"They want the benefits of a relationship with none of the responsibilities." (p. 35)

The discussion is about humanism, and worth the read if you can get your hands on a book. I found it very easy to nod my head and agree that's how people are out there. Yes, the world is living for itself. The world is all about the benefits of various relationships without the responsibilities. Promiscuity, fornication, credit card debt - you can find lots of examples in lots of areas.
But then it happened. My head nodding turned into soul searching as the Holy Spirit did His work, showing me it wasn't just out there. It is in our churches. It is in our life groups and Sunday school classes. It is in me - it's in here.

I want the benefits of being a church member without the responsibility of claiming them as my peeps, submitting to the leadership, and doing what I could to strengthen the body.

I want the benefits of a life group/Sunday School without the responsibility of caring for others and protecting what they share.

I want the benefits of being on the worship team/children's ministry/youth leader without the responsibility of doing the work and dealing with the issues.

I want the benefit of being friend's with the leadership without the responsibility of being mature in my faith and in that relationship.

I want the benefits of being on that platform without the responsibility it carries.

I won't tell you all the ones I could check just from that list. Okay, I'll confess one - the first. You know it's bad when your own study group points it out to you. These ladies are tough - good thing they are blood kin! All kidding aside, they didn't beat me up with it because they knew I knew. They did bring it up, though. I am glad they did. Godly accountability and honest chats are what we need, especially in the body of Christ.

The enemy would have us look in here with conceit and out there with condemnation.

Christ calls us to look in here with conviction and out there with compassion.

The grace of Christ Jesus.

The gospel of Christ Jesus. 

May we choose to remember

 they are needed in here;

Not just out there.

 

HEART REFRESHER

For the SSMT, I have chosen to memorize the book of Philemon. I am at verse 13 by now, but recently one of the previous verses struck a cord.

⁷ For we have great joy and consolation in your love, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed by you, brother

"because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed by you, brother"

I want that to be me. I don't want to be that person who just wears people out. You know what I mean? The person who you are pretty sure you are going to need a lot of Jesus just to be around. The sister who just leaves you feeling drained and zapped.
I don't want to be that gal.
I want to be the gal that leaves people wanting more of Him because they want more of Him; not less of me.
If they need encouragement - I want to encourage them in Jesus.
If they need to be challenged - I want to challenge them in Jesus.
If they need comfort - I want to comfort them in Jesus.

I am thinking that is not a bad legacy to have.
For she refreshed the hearts of the saints.
May it be said of so many of us.

FOUR SCORE DIVIDED BY TWO

That would be 40. 

Which is what I will be.

Not tomorrow, or this month even, but soon enough. 

I find myself thinking about it more and more though. 

Like today, sitting at the OB/GYN 

(boys - totally fine if you just checked out, but the girls know)

looking at all the mamas to be and the mamas who just were, 

remembering when I was in their shoes, 

seeing the "old" ladies there,

and realizing that I am now the "old" lady.

Or when I read an article (a lovely one, too) about some friends' mama who is retiring, thinking I remember when she started, and realizing I have been out of high school long enough for a person to want to retire in those same years.

I am not really afraid of 40, but aware. 

Aware of how far I have come.

Aware of how far I have to go. 

2 Corinthians 3:18 (NKJV)

But we all, with unveiled face, 

beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, 

are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, 

just as by the Spirit of the Lord.

I am not one who thinks the best years are behind me.

I really hope not. 

To me, that would be depressing. 

I have had good years in high school, college, the 20's & 30's,

but I really hope I haven't peaked out.

If the Lord allows -
We have MCs to graduate.

Daughter-in laws to meet.

Grandbabies to kiss.

Front porch rocking to do.

Philippians 1:6 (NKJV)

being confident of this very thing, 

that He who has begun a good work in you 

will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;

I am going to hold God to His word.

The confident 40's. 

Yeah, that is what I would like them to be.

ROUND UP...

1. The boys played soccer this season.
2. Soccer season is over. Two weeks ago. They played for six weeks. You see exactly how many pictures I posted up here.
     - It was MC 2's first adventure with competitive sports and he really enjoyed it. Which is good because they lost every game but one. He didn't care. He just liked being out there.
    - MC 1 loves to play. His team fared a little better. Excluding the cleat to the eye (which his wonderfully attentive mother just took him to the doctor about this week- that is right peeps- mom of the year trophy securely on my mantle), he had a really good season. (You'll be glad to know they eye checked out fine. He had no pain and no vision problems, it just wasn't looking like it should have IMO.)

3. The boys participated in another rodeo.
4. That's over, too.
    - They both rode really well and the church who sponsored it put on a great program. HH is itching for the next one. MC 1 is going to have to find a new group due to the fact he has aged out of the one we always participated in. He is looking to football I think. Shhh....HH is not a fan. 

5. The boys had track & field day at their school.
6. Zero pics of that as well. I really need a camera......
    - MC 2 signed up for three running events, which shocked us all, and did really well. He wasn't first but he wasn't last.
    - MC 1 had one goal in mind. Win the boys 800m. AND HE DID! This has been on his mind since the last field day. When I mowed my track last year, he saw it as his chance to train. He ran, he practiced, he prepared and it payed off. He was so happy.

School is almost out for us, and the timing is perfect. HH is enjoying the longer evenings. I keep reminding him we are not out of school yet. Bedtime still exists.

Okay, well that should hold you for a few days. Hopefully, this summer I can get back here and get in the habit.
Hopefully....
I shall choose to try.

DO WE HIDE BEHIND THE "SEASONS"?

I have been listening to a great deal of James MacDonald the last few weeks as he has become my soundtrack for the soccer practice laps I make around the field. One of the most recent sessions dealt with reconciliation with our brothers and sisters in Christ. That in itself is a different post.....
Thinking on that for a few days, the word "seasons" came to mind. It is a popular word in our Christian culture today. 
In this season of my life....
We're entering into a new season...
You've most likely heard it. Maybe, like me, even said it.
I think one of the most common ways I have heard it, and used it, is regarding relationships. 
A relationship ends...
Friends are no longer friends...
Co-workers change jobs (or don't)...
Church members leave...
The reply most often,
Well, we are just in different seasons of life now.
Which, I think, many times is true. Relationships do, and often should, change. People move away. Lives go in different directions. 
I couldn't ignore the little prick, though, that asked what if we were using that term as a cover,for some camouflage, to hid the fact that we haven't dealt with the situation in the manner God calls us to.
Would we rather ignore the body of Christ than be reconciled with it? Him? Her? Them?


I don't know. I am asking you.
Do you think we over use the term?
Do you think we can hide behind it and avoid doing the work of reconciliation God calls us to?

Waiting to hear from you....

BUT JESUS...

I had an incident with another mortal the other day and not a good one. I took a cussing like I never have before. Fiery darts were shot with the intent to kill.
But Jesus... was there.
He was all over me. We stayed calm. We didn't cry. We answered without accusing. We questioned without condemning. We spoke with a calm steady voice. We humbly sought out and accepted any wrong doing while enduring the wrath of a very angry person.

Then I walked away and cried like a baby. I asked the Lord to remove them from my bubble. Perhaps have them get blessed with a great job opportunity and go away. I told the Lord this is why I hated dealing with people. I asked Him if I could just put a wall up and not even deal with the situation any longer. Hide it, and the mortals, completely out of my sight. Just stay locked tight in my little bubble. 

But Jesus....said no. He said this is exactly what you were called to do. To love the unlovable. To extend grace to the ungrateful. To address it with respect and humility, seeking a solution and not a vindication.

Don't be fooled. It's not all daises over here. There is bitterness trying to take root. I have felt it trying to pierce my heart. The voices of the flesh have screamed. My mind has been preoccupied with what I should have said this time or will say next time.
Those thoughts are trying to build a wall, brick by brick, around my heart. Bricks like
I just won't speak at all....
I've got nothing for them any longer....
It's not worth it....

But Jesus... reminded me that to be a follower is to be persecuted by the world. Maybe this isn't about me being a Christian specifically, but maybe it is. I don't think its a coincidence that just a few days prior I had actually thought about how great it would be if they found Jesus. 
My chief attacker is not this mortal, but the enemy Satan himself. If he can get me to harbor bitterness, if he can get me to not turn the other cheek, if he can get me to not act like I am a follower, if he can get me to keep that heart of stone....

But Jesus...keeps pulling my thoughts back to Him.
Reminding me of the end game.
His glory.
His fame.
His adoration.
People choosing Him.

The world is mean. The world hates Christ. The world will hate us if we are following Him. Being in it but not of it is going to be tough. We can want to with all we have, but our flesh will fail. Our flesh will follow the world. We, in and of ourselves, are ill-equipped to do this.

But Jesus.....