WORTH 1000 WORDS

Man Child 1 wrote this on his hand and took the picture himself. I could go into a lengthy dissertation on the theological implications but I think this will cover it:

Isaiah 49:16

" See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands;"

Thank you Jesus & Praise God!

THE ODD COUPLE

No, not me & HH. Although we have our moments and you may beg to differ.
No, it's HH and one of his friends, Cory. If they were girls, they would be BFF's for life. They hunt together when they can. They chat on the phone (occasionally - because after all they are not girls). If they are both off work during the week, you can bet they will get together to talk UFC or drums or hunting or whatever (I really don't know for sure- I am at work!) Last night they sat in my kitchen discussing some serious street ministry time Cory had just finished up with men form his church and then proceeded to move to the living room where they played hours of Street Fighter something another on the PS3. The complexity and depth of their relationship intrigues me.
Technically Cory is our friend. Actually he was my friend first. Ok - actually he was my student first. That is right- he's about 9 years our junior and a former student of mine. So you can imagine how weird it is to be hanging out with a kid who sat in my class. A former student who housed us for 5 months when our house caught fire - no questions asked. A former student who has previously served as the worship leader at my church- my worship leader.
HH is pretty redneck but can dress it up. Cory is pretty trendy, but can peak out that redneck every so often. They have a blast together and it is a ton of fun to watch. They act like 10 year-olds at times and it like teaching middle school, and then they dive into discussions about Christ and I sit in awe.
They bless each others lives though and that is what matters. The love Jesus, their families, and each other. Although HH would probably never say that out loud, Cory would & cry like a baby about it!

EXIT STAGE LEFT

Yesterday, I completed my exit interview for my job, since I am quitting and all. It was not exactly an interview, more along the lines of "fill out this paperwork and check these boxes". They had short answer questions as well- what did you like? What did you dislike? The lines to write in were very small so I am guessing they did not want essay responses on either question.
It is a very weird time for us right now. HH sees $$$$$ gone, I see stress gone. I see getting my life back and being the mom I want to be. I told you before, some moms are great at work and mommying- I don't think I am one of those. By God's grace I have done okay and maybe I have an unrealistic view of what life will be like post -work.
One thing I definitely do not see is the next step. I am totally at a loss. Since of peace - yes- but not sure if it is God or me just saying "hey it will all be okay". I can say EVERY MOM I work with has blessed this decision. I know man's approval is not what we are to strive for, but it is nice that they don't think I have absolutely lost my mind. Part of me sees $$$$ (not a lot) gone as well. Add to that being told AGAIN & AGAIN how horrible the economy is and the fact that HH's job is in the not so profitable industry right now, the worldly side of me is going - ARE YOU NUTS?
I have asked, pleaded and begged , please show me the next phase Jesus. Please show me where we are going with this. So far all I have gotten is - "okay this is the next step", which is His standard operating procedure most days anyway. So I will cling to what His word tells me about Him:

1 Corinthians 2:9 (NKJV)

Eye has not see, nor ear heard,

Nor have entered into the heart of man

The things which God has prepared for those who love Him.

MY CROCK POT

I love my crock pot. I really do. It is so versatile. You can do breakfast, lunch, dinner or dessert. What other invention cooks so well for me while I am gone! In the winter it holds sweet cider and stew. I have had this our entire married life and it has served me well. As you can tell I use mine a lot. Today we discovered a new use.

A home away from home for earthworm. We are saving him for when HH gets home. Man child 2 claims he "can't find his home anymore." Fear not - that is rust in the bottom. Not the early demise of said worm. Worm will be returned to his home asap.

I am so impressed by the versatility my men show. Oh what a future we have in store for us!

RITES OF PASSAGE

UPDATE: I told you they were staging a coup! This morning I awoke and headed to the restroom for the morning rituals. Lo and behold, a vermin comes out of the closet and directly to ME! I scream in vain because everyone else was asleep. Threaten it with my toilet paper. Barricaded the door so it can not infiltrate the rest of the house (mainly because he could live for days in the boys room and not be spotted). Take a guarded shower and then get HH. HH did not get that I said there was a mouse in OUR bathroom until man child 2 explained it with great joy!But being the great hunter he is, he set the trap and, well, the world is short 2 vermin this morning. He did comment what a pretty mouse it was. See he appreciates nature and is not just a hunter. And might I say these were FAT & HEALTHY LOOKING MICE! Not starving pitiful creatures who were just looking for some food. OH NO! These guys had eaten quite well! Alas, now I will go home and clean like a mad woman. Probably should have done that in the first place and the rodents would have stayed away.

I have limited exposure to the world of men children. Most of the ones in my family lived far away. I did have a cousin nearby for a few years. And I do recall some Star Wars stuff around his house. Needless to say I was not totally prepared for the rite of passage that Star Wars is. In the past 24 hours I think I have seen 3 of them, after watching Episode 3 Friday night. Sam's apparently had the first 3 on DVD and that was more than my men children could take. So it has been a Star Wars marathon for 2 days. Cracks me up when man child 1 tells me "Star Wars is from the olden days, the very olden days. Were you alive then? What about Audie & Grandpa? Did the know Star Wars?" Sorry Audie. Ben 10 has nothing on Luke Skywalker. And talk about a dysfunctional family! If I have to explain one more time how Anakin & Darth are the same, how Luke & Leia (probably spelled it wrong) are brother & sisters, that Chew-bacca is NOT a big furry bear but a Wookie and what the heck a wookie is?
I also think it is a rite of passage for all husbands to endure their wives waking them up to go "see what that is?". This was us about 4 this morning. I hear this scratching/clawing that sounds like the ninja rat from Ninja Turtles is about to bust through. I sit up look around, dare not put my feet on the floor. I lovingly tap HH, get up! do you hear that? His reply - yeah it sounds like water? WHAT???? That is not water, That is a rodent army trying to stage a coup against my house! So I take the flashlight and crawl to the end of the bed and peak in the bathroom. Have no clue what I would have done if there had actually been something there! Well, that got HH's attention. He gets up and firmly removes the flashlight from me and bravely walks in to the bathroom to check it out. MY HERO! As soon as he went in the clawing stopped. Tricky little ninja rodents. So tonight - I become HW- and I am hunting me some rodents. I really thought HH would be more excited. I mean he did stalk a mole. Maybe if this was a trophy mouse he would be more excited. Regardless, I'll beg him to set the traps tonight and I am sure he will. Ninja rats got nothing on my man! They are about to be KOW-A-BUNGA'D!

I THINK I AM DOUBLE-MINDED, BUT MAYBE NOT

Could that be anyone else or just me?

There are days when I am the confident princess warrior my Creator has created me to be. I am wielding my sword, I am advancing in the enemy's camp- I am exactly what Jesus Christ has called me to be!
Other days I am cowering like a scared cat behind everything. I am jumping at every noise. I am running away in fear instead of standing my ground in Christ's confidence.
And it is the back and forth that gets me. Because when I am in the princess mode- I see it- I see what God has created and called me to be. I see the victory even if no one else does. I feel it in my spirit - that - yes this is it- this is what I was made for. I feel like the kids in Narnia fighting the evil White Witch with more confidence and boldness than I should naturally have.
And when I am in scaredy cat mode, sadly, I feel that in my spirit as well. This is not how it is supposed to be. This is not what or how I was called to live. And then I get mad at myself for letting my head and heart go there, AGAIN. So I pick myself up, armor up and get in warrior princess mode.

Maybe that is not double-minded. Maybe it is just maturing in Christ. Then again, maybe it is. But can I just say it takes a lot if work to be a warrior princess. A lot of head work- to keep my mind focused on where it needs to be. And a lot of work to keep this armored temple in the shape it needs to be.
But it is not for nothing! That I do know! This has become a HUGE verse for me:

"Therefore do not cast away your confidence, for you will have need of endurance, so that after you have done the will of God you may receive the reward."

The reward - My Prince greeting me either when I go to Him or He comes to me. And saying "Well done, girl - Well DONE!"

IN THE NOTHINGNESS

I started thinking about this yesterday and the Lord really had it on my mind this morning. Not to mention my Esther study lined up with it earlier last week. Over 2000 years ago, today was a nothing day. Christ has been crucified, and had not yet risen. I can only imagine what the disciples & the followers thought and felt in the midst of this nothingness. To go to the grave and see nothing. To fellowship together and nothing. Yet at the very time when they saw nothing, the very gates of hell were being destroyed and the chains of sin and death broken forever. How many times to I do that?Because I see nothing I assume nothing. Because I can't see the hand of God sweeping through my life, I assume that He is not moving. I know we are told this is not the case, but how many times do I fall into that trap? More than I want to admit I am afraid. At times I have taken "Seeing is believing" more to heart than "now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." I think Mrs. Moore sums it up well in the following from Esther:

"A war is being raged over your head in the unseen realm, and a great cloud of witnesses are cheering you on. You have no idea what's at stake. "(P.98)

To know that when I see nothing is NOT the time for me to do nothing. There is a battle for my very soul raging in the heavenlies. To destroy my family for generations to come. And it is often in those "nothing "times that I make my greatest stand. That I say to the enemy - I see nothing of my deliverance - but I will stand and believe and confess Jesus Christ until I do. I think it is the "nothing" times that our faith rubber meets the road. Easy to believe when we see it all before us. What would have happened if the followers of Christ had taken the nothingness as a sign to quit? What if Mary had not gone back to the grave? What then? And tomorrow symbolizes the best part- we are not left to "nothing" forever, only while Christ does what He has to do. Rest assured if you are in "nothing", He is all about "SOMETHING". Stand your ground. Pray to be as wise as a serpent and as gentle as a dove. Ask the Lord to prepare your hands for war against the enemy (which is NEVER flesh and blood). In the nothing times, we are trained. In the nothing times, our shields are reinforced. And in the nothing times our swords are ready to be sharpened like never before.

Today- rejoice in the quiet and the nothing. Because NOTHING is what the enemy can do about the SOMETHING Christ has already done! Thank you Jesus! Glory be Your name!