GO YOUR WAY

First, MC 2 informed me that he was not "naughty", he is FUN! Ohhhhh.....okay.
Second, do you just get sick of yourself?
Frustrated with yourself?
Moments where you go "duh- you dodo brain!"
No?
Well then I guess you will have to live vicariously through me, because I am having one.
I went on a rant a few weeks ago about how nothing I wanted to do for Christmas happened. I was pretty upset about it all. In the weeks since the Lord has brought some clarity about many aspects of my life.
Here it is in a nutshell:
The life I desire is not going to just happen. (Seems a no brainer for a chica who named her blog I CHOOSE and talks a lot about being deliberate; I have no explanation other than I am a flawed human).
See, I had all these grand ideas about my year off from work. All the things I would get done. All the holiday stuff I would do. Visualize a cross between Caroline Ingalls and Proverbs 31. Naive- very. Dreamy, pie in the sky- you bet. I guess I thought I would get up everyday all this stuff would happen. It doesn't. I thought having all the time I wanted would make all this stuff happen easily. It doesn't. What makes all the things I wanted to get done come to pass? Me getting out and doing them. Me being deliberate in managing all the time I have. Me making the effort and planning for them. Don't misunderstand. I am not naive enough to think I can plan out every moment of my life. The Good Lord likes faith way too much for that to happen. On the other hand, I can't just get up everyday and expect stuff to magically get done. I have to do it. If I want Christmas cookies and candies next year, I have to make them. If I want certain memories for my kids, I have to be purposeful in making them. If I want my kids to know Christmas is really about Christ, I have to be deliberate in making that the point. God has shown me where I fallen short in some areas regarding this. Financial freedom will not be ours unless HH and I are deliberate. I will not grow with Christ unless I am deliberate. For the past few months, I have been letting life happen. I have rationalized to myself that I was getting used to being home, or MC 2 needed my attention, or this or that. MC 2 does need me, but he can have me while we work on the pens in the front yard. He can have me while we trim the grape vine that has overtaken my front fence. The boys and I can have meaningful talks while we fold towels. We made fudge the other night. They helped. They had already folded clothes and helped load the dishwasher, a rare feat for them both. When we finished with the fudge, MC 1 asked "Can we just talk?" Sure baby we can. I know those days will go by very quickly. As Kelly said the days are long but the years are short.
So for 2010, however you want to say it twenty- ten or two thousand and ten, I purpose to be deliberate. In many areas. Deliberate in what I do, deliberate in what I pass on. Deliberate in choosing God first, husband second. Deliberate in managing our household, deliberate in keeping the laundry up (that one I have done pretty well on till last week).
It reminds me of the blind man at the end of Mark 10.
He is crying out when the Lord Jesus asks him " What do you want me to do for you?"
The man replies restore my sight.
Jesus replies "Go your way; your faith has made you well."
Christ did not say sit here, your faith will get things done.
Go your way.
Go my way.
Get up and move forward on my journey.
Quit sitting by the pool, get up and get moving, because my faith will make me well.
Holly has a great post along the same lines. Judging by the comments, God is calling a lot of us the be more purposeful in our lives.
May we encourage each other.
May we challenge each other.
May we go our way for our faith has made us well.