I CAN...IT'S NOT...

Mrs. Beverly has been our neighbor for several years. Other than the occasional I have your mail or I am coming to pull weeds off the fence, we really did not have much interaction. I was working, and after her mom was put in an assisted living residence, Mrs. Beverly was just our reclusive neighbor.

The first year I stayed home, we visited more often across the fence, but we still did not spend a great deal of time together. This past year was a different story. It started because she had car troubles and needed to get into town about once every two weeks. I had the time so when she asked, I obliged. When her car broke down a few times, she called me to come get her. We talked about God and church. We talked about raising boys and trying to do the best you can. We talked praying for and loving them when they don't. She told me of her loves past, and her desire for companionship now.

And because she couldn't sleep and listened to late night talk radio, we talked global warming, earthquakes, and terrorists attacks.

One Sunday about a month and a half ago, Mrs. Beverly called me after I got home from church and told me she needed to go to the hospital. She was sure she had Lyme disease. When I picked her up, she was crying. Never....N...E...V...E...R... had I seen her show any emotion. I knew this was bad. I took her to our local ER and waited while they cared for her. What they found was even more severe, and Mrs. Beverly was rushed to another hospital that could handle her failing kidneys and sky rocketing blood pressure. They rushed her out so quickly I did not even speak to her.

While in the hospital, it was discovered that she had cancer. Her return home meant she needed dialysis. During the week, a medical van would pick her up, but on the weekends, another neighbor and I would accommodate. The talks on these car rides had different overtones. We talked Jesus. We talked dying. We talked about her fear of dying alone or in pain. We talked how long she thought she would be with us.

The last trip I took with Mrs. Beverly, she told me about the angels she believed she had been seeing. We talked about what she thought Heaven would be like. I asked her is she was ready to go, which she was. I am ever so grateful that the Lord gave me the boldness to ask if she knew Jesus as her Savior, if she had surrendered her life to Him, and ever so happy to hear her say a resounding yes. Then, with tears in both our eyes, I told her we both knew that regardless of how much time she had left, this wasn't the end.

That was the middle of October. Mrs. Beverly passed away the first part of November. Her brothers were here and she was surrounded with friends I believe.

Why tell you all this?

Not because I need you to pat me on the back. I don't. Truth of it, I did not always serve Mrs. Beverly with a joyous heart. There were times I did it because I knew it was the right thing to do. It wasn't always convenient. It wasn't always what I had planned to do for my day. Don't get me wrong, I was always gracious and courteous, but some days it was with a bit of a begrudging attitude. Because some days I saw it as a bother. And who can be bothered?

W...E...........C...A...N........

We can.

You can.

I can.

We can be bothered to stop. Stop and listen. Stop and say hello. Stop and give a hug.

Looking back over the last year, I feel a mixture of shame and gratitude. Shame for how I wasn't as willing as I should have been. Yet, mixed in that is a gratefulness for the times I did have with Mrs. Beverly.

Maybe you feel you can't be bothered. Bothered to write a letter to a relative. Bothered to stop in on a widow, or a single mom, or a married mom, and say hi. Bothered to help someone out if you can. Bothered to share the love of Christ. To be His hands and feet.

Can I say with utmost humility, yes you can?

You and I must.

Why?

Because, as I told Mrs. Beverly, we know this is not the end.

Titus 3

1 Remind them to be subject to rulers and authorities, to obey, to be ready for every good work, 2 to speak evil of no one, to be peaceable, gentle, showing all humility to all men. 3 For we ourselves were also once foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving various lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful and hating one another. 4 But when the kindness and the love of God our Savior toward man appeared, 5 not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit, 6 whom He poured out on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Savior, 7 that having been justified by His grace we should become heirs according to the hope of eternal life.