ACCOUNTABLE OR REBEL-A-BLE?

Yes, I know rebelable is not a real word. I also know the hyphens are wrong , but I needed the dramatic effect. (I needed it, doesn't mean you did, but hey, it's my blog).
I had an interesting turn of events the other night. I battle my weight and have for many years. Some years I am very successful and some years not so much. We are in the not so much season right now. The other night HH weighed himself and somehow that lead into a guessing game about mine. When he hit the magic number, he was disturbed by it. He made some truthful all though not so graceful remarks about it. My response, "I don't need a lecture on it." Some of you may think it horrible that he did not say he would love me regardless of how high my weight got. First, rest assured he still loves me. Second, a comment like that would be a get out of jail free card for me and my brownie craving. I need him to hold me accountable, and I need to watch that I do not become rebelable. I hate, let me say HATE, being told what to do by others. I really, really do. That is the rebellion part. I like being in control. Hence the food problem. I may not be able to control anything else in my world, but I will control what goes in my mouth and it better taste good and make me happy, ie brownies. And don't you dare try to tell me what to eat and when.
I know the spiritual implications are jumping off the page, and I (and He) are working through them. Control, pride, self-discipline, submission, honoring the temple, trust, it goes on and on. Now I could get down on myself and say what a failure I am, because in this area I have failed. However, because I have failed does not mean I have to become a failure, if that makes sense. It is my choice. Same as I choose whether or not I will smoke too much or drink too much or lie to much. It's all the same. The issues are still the same.
I am accountable to my husband. Not because he is the food police or because he needs a skinny thang on his arm (cause that probably ain't going to happen), but because he signed on for the long haul. Because we have kids together and we need to rear them together. Because we said till death do us part and I don't need to speed up that process.
More than that, I am accountable to God on this. Those issues need to be dealt with now, so this situation and learning point can be used for His glory for someone else.
I have to tell you, I am kind of excited right now. I know that Him having me go through this, and working this all out, is part of His plan for me. To get get me from point A to point B, and I finally feel like I am walking the right direction. I know it won't be a perfect walk, without distractions (hello - the holidays are coming up), but it is a walk Christ and I will be on together. A walk where He will be light before me and the light anyone sees around me.
So having told you all of that, you will be glad to know for the past 3 mornings I have worked out before 6 and monitored my eating more closely. Small steps but steps none the less. I have also been less rebel-able and more accountable in other areas as well. The less rebel-able part is what I am most proud of (proud with all humility because I know it is only through Jesus).
So this is where I am now. Hopefully this is not where I will be for long:)
Have a blessed day!